Let's see... The Bulls are drafting, the White Sox and Cubs are playing each other, 
*** Shirts are no longer for sale ***
Well, friends. It is here. Jaythejoke.com has a t-shirt, and it features a hot dog reading a Mariotti column (the paper is the Chicago Times, but there is a sun logo on the front) and crying. You can get this shirt in 4 delicious flavors and 4 different sizes. Click on the image to see more detail. Total cost AFTER shipping is $14.
Also - we plan to invest all the money we make into the site. At some point we hope to make this a place where Chicago sports fans can come to talk about our teams and show that we have a lot more insight than Jay Mariotti.
Please support the cause! And thanks.
*** This shirt will be sold until the end of this week, at which time it will become a collector's item. ***
Rumors are swirling that the Sun-Times has asked Jay to take a "vacation" for a little bit. This all seems very suspicious seeing as it is the week of the second Cubs/Sox series...
While we at Jay the Joke certainly appreciate any day that doesn't feature waking up to Jay's column, we can't help but be a little curious as to where he is. That's where our faithful army of supporters comes in. We need your help finding Jay!
-- If anyone knows his home address I think we can all agree that is a safe place to check. You know that Jay has one of those bizarre contraptions where you hang upside down in order to get a little taller. I'm imagining a scenario where Jay accidentally breaks both arms during this "inversion" and cannot get back into the upright position. I figure the blood would rush to his head and eventually cause him to black out.
-- Is it too much of a stretch that believe that Ozzie's slur against Jay was rooted in truth? London's Pride Parade is this weekend in England. There are three reasons this might be the pride parade Jay refuses to miss:
1. He is a sucker for the accent.
2. He feels freer outside of our country.
3. He feels he looks much "buffer" in his British Flag speedo than his American Flag speedo.
Again, this is all speculation, but if anyone could monitor the parade for Jay (he'll probably be on roller blades), we'd really appreciate it.
-- Could somebody please drive to Pennsylvania and look in Geno Mariotti's windows? It wouldn't surprise me to see Jay curled up in his father's lap, sobbing as his dad runs his fingers through Jay's pompadour.
And please don't worry about us. We've hired a bodyguard and told him to look out for a short guy with a face full of rage.
Since we are getting a lot of traffic today (thanks, Mr. Greenstein) I thought it might be good to link to some of the highlights of this blog.
- Eric Zorn's blog shows what farce Jay's writing is.
- The VP of Communications at the White Sox calls out Jay
- The Mariotti Flip
- The Head Honchos of your Chicago baseball teams get together based on hatred of Jay.
- The Mariotti Switcheroo
- Mark Cuban breaks Jay's heart
- And of course, we hope that you check out our small, but powerful video collection at youtube.
It's been a rough week for Jay between the slurs, the locker room flashbacks, and the questions about his journalistic and testicular fortitude. When all else fails, Jay reaches for a time honored principle of Chicago sports fandom: People sure seem to like that Michael Jordan fellow, don't they?!
Since Michael Jordan could probably run for governor this fall and win, invoking the good old days in a lament that Jordan's return to the NBA couldn't come as owner of the Bulls certainly seems like the perfect salve for a wounded columnist.
Before he delves into his "argument", Jay cracks a bald joke about John Paxson and Scott Skiles. Who's going to laugh at a bald joke, especially when Jay's comical cut is clearly viewable in the mug shot attached to the column?
Lame bald jokes aside, the main focus remains Jordan's becoming part-owner of the Charlotte Bobcats and not the Bulls, giving Jay an opportunity to reacquaint himself with his old punching bag, Jerry Reinsdorf:
"Ultimately, Jordan would be more committed to hanging new banners in the rafters than the current owner, who keeps telling us that one World Series trophy means more to him than an epic basketball dynasty. I'm not saying Jerry Reinsdorf doesn't like to win a little with the Bulls. I'm saying Jordan would kill to win championships with the Bulls, if only the Circle of Jerry would sell him the franchise."
First of all, Jordan shouldn't be killing anybody. And didn't Reinsdorf own the team when the Bulls won six titles? And own the White Sox for their first championship since before World War I ended? I've certainly had my issues with Reinsdorf over the years, but with the Bulls turning things around and the Sox poised for a possible repeat...Jerry Reinsdorf just doesn't make a great go-to villain the way he once did.
Also, as much as I loved MJ the player, I'm pretty comfortable with the Bulls brain trust as it stands.
Great players rarely make the transition to great coaches or front office personnel. While exceptions, like the NBA logo Jerry West, certainly exist, they are far from the norm. Role players like Phil Jackson, or the Scott Skiles-John Paxson combo running the Bulls, for whatever reason, seem to make the transition better. Just ask Knick fans about Isaiah Thomas.
Jordan already flopped once running the Wizards. Mariotti seems to think it won't happen again. I'm not so sure. Even as someone who spent his formative years continually in awe of Michael Jordan, I just have a feeling the front office version isn't destined for the same greatness. Wait for it...ok, no lightning. I'm safe.
Jay is convinced Jordan will get it right this time in Charlotte. And he may be right. Jay accurately points out in his column that Jordan, while he made his mistakes, was a better executive than people realized. But the fact of the matter is the Bulls aren't anywhere near for sale, and have the best mix of salary cap health and young talent in all of basketball, not to mention back to back playoff appearances including a tough series against the eventual champs. Most Bulls fans are pretty content with the leadership right now. Trying to make us long for MJ to come save us feels like pandering.
One comment I found interesting came in Jay's justification for Jordan's inevitable success.
"I know this man and his competitive inferno too well to think he could flop twice."
For one thing, everyone in sports knows Jordan is possibly the most competitive human who ever lived. There are countless stories about Jordan cheating to win at a game of tiddly winks or some such thing. So, once again, Jay isn't exactly providing us with insider information. I know Jay has covered Jordan for a long time and from reading his columns over the years he does seem to have developed a rapport, but something about Jay positioning himself as an all-knowing Jordan authority makes me uncomfortable.
Put it this way, I doubt Jordan has given the likes of Jay Mariotti some kind of window into his psyche.
Jordan might succeed with the Bobcats. I hope he does. But I won't take Jay's word for it.