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    <title type="text">Jay the Joke</title>
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    <updated>2010-09-03T07:16:41Z</updated>
    <rights>Copyright (c) 2010</rights>
    <generator uri="http://www.pmachine.com/" version="1.5.2">ExpressionEngine</generator>
    <id>tag:jaythejoke.com,2010:09:03</id>


    <entry>
      <title>In Which I Saw Great Things (new post up, has slogan)</title>
      <link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="http://www.jaythejoke.com/index.php/forums/viewthread/14911/" />      
      <id>tag:jaythejoke.com,2010:index.php/forums/viewthread/.14911</id>
      <published>2010-09-03T07:08:18Z</published>
      <updated>2010-09-03T07:16:41Z</updated>
      <author><name>BigBadBill</name></author>
      <content type="html">
      <![CDATA[
        <p>I never said I saw any great things during the Bears&#8217; game.
</p>
      ]]>
      </content>
    </entry>

    <entry>
      <title>Sox Game Postponed Due to Hurricane</title>
      <link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="http://www.jaythejoke.com/index.php/forums/viewthread/14920/" />      
      <id>tag:jaythejoke.com,2010:index.php/forums/viewthread/.14920</id>
      <published>2010-09-03T14:40:42Z</published>
      <updated></updated>
      <author><name>BigBadBill</name></author>
      <content type="html">
      <![CDATA[
        <p><a href="http://chicago.whitesox.mlb.com/index.jsp?c_id=cws">Double header</a>  tomorrow. Since Cowboy Joe F***tard wasn&#8217;t the ump, there is no damage to the Sox starting rotation.
</p>
      ]]>
      </content>
    </entry>

    <entry>
      <title>IndyCar Series Race 15 of 17:&amp;nbsp; Indy 300 at Kentucky</title>
      <link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="http://www.jaythejoke.com/index.php/forums/viewthread/14919/" />      
      <id>tag:jaythejoke.com,2010:index.php/forums/viewthread/.14919</id>
      <published>2010-09-03T14:26:46Z</published>
      <updated></updated>
      <author><name>Thick McRunfast</name></author>
      <content type="html">
      <![CDATA[
        <p>Last season, Ed Carpenter came within a second of his first victory at Kentucky Speedway, losing out to Ryan Briscoe by 0.0162 seconds.&nbsp; He will be looking to be ahead on that last lap this year as he leads the field in the Indy 300 on Saturday.&nbsp; This is Carpenter&#8217;s first pole-position in the IndyCar Series, and comes in the most unlikely of circumstances, with his car being only a part-time entry, run in conjunction with Panther Racing and Vision Racing.&nbsp; Carpenter had an excellent qualifying run at Indianapolis, starting 8th, before a number of incidents caused him to finish 17th.&nbsp; He started 11th at Chicago and finished 20th, but was in contention for the win most of the race, with mechanical problems forcing him out early.
</p>
<p>
Panther Racing had it&#8217;s best qualifying effort in some time this weekend.&nbsp; In addition to Carpenter&#8217;s pole position, regular driver Dan Wheldon will start 3rd.&nbsp; Splitting the teammates will be Series points leader Will Power.&nbsp; In an odd situation, Power&#8217;s teammates both qualified outside of the top-five, with Helio Castroneves in 8th and Ryan Briscoe 9th.
</p>
<p>
Scott Dixon gives Ganassi a front-row presence by starting 4th, but Dario Franchitti finds himself starting 11th, his worst starting position on an oval this season, and his worst starting position overall since the fourth race of the season, Long Beach, where he started 12th.
</p>
<p>
The biggest surprise of qualifying has to be Bertrand Baguette.&nbsp; Driving for the small Conquest Racing, Baguette will start 6th, alongside Hideki Mutoh.&nbsp; This is by far Baguette&#8217;s best starting position of the year, his previous best 13th at Sonoma.&nbsp; Baguette&#8217;s teammate, Tomas Scheckter, will start 10th, and hopefully have a better race than he did at Chicago, where he crashed with Raphael Matos 4 laps in.
</p>
<p>
Andretti Autosport had a disappointing round of qualifying, with Marco Andretti again giving them their highest starting position.&nbsp; Unlike Chicago, where that position was 5th, this week it is 15th.&nbsp; Danica Patrick starts 17th, Tony Kanaan 26th, and Ryan Hunter-Reay 27th.
</p>
<p>
Tomas Scheckter returns for Conquest Racing in #36, and will start 10th.
<br />
Paul Tracy will drive the #24 Dreyer &amp; Reinbold entry at Kentucky and at Twin Ring Motegi in the place of Mike Conway.&nbsp; He starts 23rd at Kentucky.
<br />
Graham Rahal will rejoin Sarah Fisher Racing for the race at Kentucky and will start 25th.
<br />
Racing legend Rick Mears will give the command for drivers to start their engines.&nbsp; Mears is a four-time Indianapolis 500 champion (1979, 1984, 1988, 1991) and a three-time CART Champion (1979, 1981, 1982).
<br />
Chip Ganassi was honored by his hometown of Pittsburgh, PA this week with Chip Ganassi Day.&nbsp; Ganassi&#8217;s team won the Indianapolis 500, Daytona 500, and Brickyard 400 this year.
<br />
Cincinnati Bengals WR Terrell Owens will be part of the pre-race, as he will go around ahead of the field in the IndyCar Two-seater driven by Arie Luyendyk.
</p>
<p>
Former winners at Kentucky include Tony Kanaan (2007), Scott Dixon (2008), and Ryan Briscoe (2009).&nbsp; In Indy Lights competition, Hideki Mutoh won in 2007.
</p>
<p>
<a href="http://pressdog.typepad.com/dogblog/2010/09/ed-carpenter-heads-to-kentucky-looking-forward-not-back.html">Here&#8217;s</a> a good interview with Ed Carpenter by IndyCar blogger pressdog.
<br />
***
<br />
Row 1
<br />
Inside:&nbsp; #20 Ed Carpenter - Panther Racing - 217.933 mph
<br />
Outside:&nbsp; #12 Will Power - Team Penske - 217.829 mph
</p>
<p>
Row 2
<br />
Inside:&nbsp; #4 Dan Wheldon - Panther Racing - 217.700 mph
<br />
Outside:&nbsp; #9 Scott Dixon - Target Chip Ganassi Racing - 217.533 mph
</p>
<p>
Row 3
<br />
Inside:&nbsp; #06 Hideki Mutoh - Newman/Haas Racing - 217.374 mph
<br />
Outside:&nbsp; #34 Bertrand Baguette - Conquest Racing - 216.988 mph
</p>
<p>
Row 4
<br />
Inside:&nbsp; #32 Mario Moraes - KV Racing Technology - 216.879 mph
<br />
Outside:&nbsp; #3 Helio Castroneves - Team Penske - 216.857 mph
</p>
<p>
Row 5
<br />
Inside:&nbsp; #6 Ryan Briscoe - Team Penske - 216.600 mph
<br />
Outside:&nbsp; #36 Tomas Scheckter - Conquest Racing - 216.589 mph
</p>
<p>
Row 6
<br />
Inside:&nbsp; #10 Dario Franchitti - Target Chip Ganassi Racing - 216.533 mph
<br />
Outside:&nbsp; #14 Vitor Meira - A.J. Foyt Enterprises - 216.434 mph
</p>
<p>
Row 7
<br />
Inside:&nbsp; #77 Alex Tagliani - FAZZT Race Team - 216.391 mph
<br />
Outside:&nbsp; #5 Takuma Sato - KV Racing Technology - 216.265 mph
</p>
<p>
Row 8
<br />
Inside:&nbsp; #26 Marco Andretti - Andretti Autosport - 216.173 mph
<br />
Outside:&nbsp; #22 Justin Wilson - Dreyer &amp; Reinbold Racing - 215.944 mph
</p>
<p>
Row 9
<br />
Inside:&nbsp; #7 Danica Patrick - Andretti Autosport - 215.820 mph
<br />
Outside:&nbsp; #19 Alex Lloyd - Dale Coyne Racing - 215.272 mph
</p>
<p>
Row 10
<br />
Inside:&nbsp; #78 Simona de Silvestro - HVM Racing - 215.003 mph
<br />
Outside:&nbsp; #2 Raphael Matos - de Ferran Dragon Racing - 214.948 mph
</p>
<p>
Row 11
<br />
Inside:&nbsp; #67 Sarah Fisher - Sarah Fisher Racing - 214.813 mph
<br />
Outside:&nbsp; #8 E.J. Viso - KV Racing Technology - 214.595 mph
</p>
<p>
Row 12
<br />
Inside:&nbsp; #24 Paul Tracy - Dreyer &amp; Reinbold Racing - 214.270 mph
<br />
Outside:&nbsp; #18 Milka Duno - Dale Coyne Racing - 213.343 mph
</p>
<p>
Row 13
<br />
Inside:&nbsp; #66 Graham Rahal - Sarah Fisher Racing - 212.364 mph
<br />
Outside:&nbsp; #11 Tony Kanaan - Andretti Autosport - 210.831 mph
</p>
<p>
Row 14
<br />
Inside:&nbsp; #37 Ryan Hunter-Reay - Andretti Autosport - ---
<br />
***
<br />
Race coverage begins tomorrow, Saturday September 4, at 8:00 pm Eastern on Versus.
</p>
      ]]>
      </content>
    </entry>

    <entry>
      <title>Cubs &#45; vs &#45; Knuckleballer</title>
      <link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="http://www.jaythejoke.com/index.php/forums/viewthread/14918/" />      
      <id>tag:jaythejoke.com,2010:index.php/forums/viewthread/.14918</id>
      <published>2010-09-03T13:49:30Z</published>
      <updated></updated>
      <author><name>BigBadBill</name></author>
      <content type="html">
      <![CDATA[
        <p>Down 3-0 in the 2nd. Nothing to worry about, Quade is in charge.
</p>
      ]]>
      </content>
    </entry>

    <entry>
      <title>Niemi&#8217;s a Shark</title>
      <link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="http://www.jaythejoke.com/index.php/forums/viewthread/14916/" />      
      <id>tag:jaythejoke.com,2010:index.php/forums/viewthread/.14916</id>
      <published>2010-09-03T11:46:51Z</published>
      <updated></updated>
      <author><name>BigBadBill</name></author>
      <content type="html">
      <![CDATA[
        <p><a href="http://www.torontosun.com/sports/hockey/2010/09/01/15214311.html">I&#8217;ll bet Greiss is pissed.</a>
</p>
<blockquote><p>The San Jose Sharks are set to sign former Chicago Blackhawks cast-off goaltender Antti Niemi to a one-year, $2 million contract, according to multiple reports in both cities.
</p>
<p>
The cash-strapped Blackhawks let Niemi walk rather than pay an arbitrator&#8217;s decision to award the Finn a reported $2.75 million contract for the 2010-11 season.
</p>
<p>
In an unusual aftermath, the 27-year-old Niemi became an unrestricted free agent less than three months after leading the &#8216;Hawks to their first Stanley Cup since 1961.
</p>
<p>
He split time during the regular season with Cristobal Huet and was 26-7-4 with a 2.25 goals-against average, seven shutouts and a .912 save percentage&#8212;then went 16-6 with a 2.63 GAA and two shutouts in the playoffs.
</p>
<p>
The Sharks, meanwhile, needed insurance against the loss of veteran Evgeni Nabokov, who signed to play in Russia. San Jose signed fellow Finn Antero Niittymaki to a two-year contract in July and holdover Thomas Greiss is also in the mix.</p></blockquote>
      ]]>
      </content>
    </entry>

    <entry>
      <title>VOTE or DIE!</title>
      <link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="http://www.jaythejoke.com/index.php/forums/viewthread/14914/" />      
      <id>tag:jaythejoke.com,2010:index.php/forums/viewthread/.14914</id>
      <published>2010-09-03T10:17:23Z</published>
      <updated></updated>
      <author><name>bones73</name></author>
      <content type="html">
      <![CDATA[
        <p><a href="http://deadspin.com/5624940/deadspin-hof-nominee-jay-mariotti">Get over to Deadspin and vote!</a>
</p>
      ]]>
      </content>
    </entry>

    <entry>
      <title>Gorzy May Be Out for Rest of Season</title>
      <link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="http://www.jaythejoke.com/index.php/forums/viewthread/14917/" />      
      <id>tag:jaythejoke.com,2010:index.php/forums/viewthread/.14917</id>
      <published>2010-09-03T12:16:06Z</published>
      <updated></updated>
      <author><name>BigBadBill</name></author>
      <content type="html">
      <![CDATA[
        <p><a href="http://chicago.cubs.mlb.com/news/article.jsp?ymd=20100902&amp;content_id=14217538&amp;vkey=news_chc&amp;fext=.jsp&amp;c_id=chc">He has an incomplete fracture</a>. The team is hoping he&#8217;ll only miss one start, but the fracture is in his throwing hand.
</p>
      ]]>
      </content>
    </entry>

    <entry>
      <title>Even Parking Your Car Isn&#8217;t Safe In Chicago</title>
      <link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="http://www.jaythejoke.com/index.php/forums/viewthread/14910/" />      
      <id>tag:jaythejoke.com,2010:index.php/forums/viewthread/.14910</id>
      <published>2010-09-03T05:39:42Z</published>
      <updated></updated>
      <author><name>TomD</name></author>
      <content type="html">
      <![CDATA[
        <p>Why am I up at 5:30 in the morning? Because I was awakened by my neighbor frantically ringing my doorbell at 3:30. Some stupid fucking asshole stole a van and plowed into their car (totaling it BTW) which in turned was rammed into the back of mine wiping out the rear end. Mine&#8217;s probably totaled too.
</p>
<p>
Now I&#8217;m sitting here all fucking stressed out. I have full coverage, but now I DON&#8217;T HAVE A FUCKING CAR!!! I just paid the thing off last year.
</p>
<p>
More goddamn car payments&#8230; <img src="http://www.jaythejoke.com/images/smileys/Angry_boese041.gif" width="40" height="58" alt="Angry_boese041" style="border:0;" /> I catch the asshole, he&#8217;s gonna wish the cops got to him first.
</p>
      ]]>
      </content>
    </entry>

    <entry>
      <title>DUDES!!!!</title>
      <link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="http://www.jaythejoke.com/index.php/forums/viewthread/14915/" />      
      <id>tag:jaythejoke.com,2010:index.php/forums/viewthread/.14915</id>
      <published>2010-09-03T11:16:21Z</published>
      <updated></updated>
      <author><name>LeBrutler Toko Boozer</name></author>
      <content type="html">
      <![CDATA[
        <p>So I totally stole a van early this morning and I plowed into this car.... I totaled it&#8230; which in turn smashed into this other guys car and probably totaled it!!!
</p>
<p>
How fuckin&#8217; cool am I? no worries I&#8217;m okay....&nbsp; that van was a piece of shit anyway..... oh it was in Chicago down that street over there
</p>
      ]]>
      </content>
    </entry>

    <entry>
      <title>The Nerd Bowl&#63;</title>
      <link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="http://www.jaythejoke.com/index.php/forums/viewthread/14913/" />      
      <id>tag:jaythejoke.com,2010:index.php/forums/viewthread/.14913</id>
      <published>2010-09-03T08:57:41Z</published>
      <updated></updated>
      <author><name>BigBadBill</name></author>
      <content type="html">
      <![CDATA[
        <p>Mike &amp; Mike in the morning have so named the Northwestern / Vanderbilt game this weekend. Actually, it looks <a href="http://nusports.cstv.com/sports/m-footbl/spec-rel/083010aab.html">to be a good game</a>.
</p>
      ]]>
      </content>
    </entry>


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