Jay the Joke

Any landing you where you are able to walk away from the plane is considered a good one.

2013-05-18T10:14:42-06:00

This guy did a great job. Read the article and watch the video.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=iqJfGTCb7M8#![/youtube]

I’d Date Her (if I were a smidge younger)

2013-05-16T11:49:37-06:00

Toko works for Oscar Mayer?

2013-05-16T11:20:15-06:00

Brilliant darling, just brilliant!

For Tom

2012-10-03T14:34:54-06:00

Tom was worried that I didn’t know any “normal” people. So, I did some asking around and my friend Tehmeena Afzal would seem to qualify by definition. She sells cars, is happily married and is expecting her first child (see pic below from the official announcement). She even likes beer, as evidenced by her pic (pre-preggers) at The Bar in Jersey. I just hope the fact that she’s a Rangers fan won’t ruin it for you.

Man hires hooker while on honeymoon

2013-05-15T12:00:52-06:00

Aren’t you supposed to get laid on your honeymoon?

FYI

2013-05-16T09:45:17-06:00

Boobytrap spelled backwards is Partyboob.

Carry on.

Florida I Can Understand, but California?

2013-05-15T14:47:44-06:00

A straight A student is expelled for her science project?

Then there are those kids in California. Suspended and banned from their prom. And here we all thought California was liberal.

Joke of the Day

2007-04-06T07:52:52-06:00

I figure since we are actually starting to get some female readers up here there should be - at least - one thread that doesn’t contain porn. I give it a week, tops.

Anyway, if you have a groaner like this;
Q: Why did the cookie go to the doctor?
A: Because it felt crumby.

Or a JTJ related joke like this;
Q: How many F***tard does it take to change a light-bulb?
A: None you fat cow. That is what house reporters are for.

Or something true that is just funny, like this;
A Charlotte, NC, lawyer purchased a box of very rare and expensive cigars, then insured them against fire among other things. Within a month having smoked his entire stockpile of these great cigars and without yet having made even his first premium payment on the policy, the lawyer filed claim against the insurance company. In his claim, the lawyer stated the cigars were lost “in a series of small fires.” The insurance company refused to pay, citing the obvious reason: That the man had consumed the cigars in the normal fashion.

The lawyer sued...and won! In delivering the ruling the judge agreed with the insurance company that the claim was frivolous. The Judge stated nevertheless, that the lawyer held a policy from the company in which it had warranted that the cigars were insurable and also guaranteed that it would insure them against fire, without defining what is considered to be unacceptable fire, and was obligated to pay the claim. Rather than endure lengthy and costly appeal process, the insurance company accepted the ruling and paid $15,000 to the lawyer for his loss of the rare cigars lost in the “fires.”

NOW FOR THE BEST PART… After the lawyer cashed the check, the Insurance company had him arrested on 24 counts of ARSON!!!! With his own insurance claim and testimony from the previous case being used against him, the lawyer was convicted of intentionally burning his insured property and was sentenced to 24 months in jail and a $24,000 fine.

This is the thread for you.

Lovely Human Beings

2013-05-14T08:52:31-06:00

Rich housewives hire crippled kids to circumvent the lines at Disney.

They are 1 percenters who are 100 percent despicable.

Some wealthy Manhattan moms have figured out a way to cut the long lines at Disney World — by hiring disabled people to pose as family members so they and their kids can jump to the front, The Post has learned.

The “black-market Disney guides” run $130 an hour, or $1,040 for an eight-hour day.

“My daughter waited one minute to get on ‘It’s a Small World’ — the other kids had to wait 2 1/2 hours,” crowed one mom, who hired a disabled guide through Dream Tours Florida.

You’d Still Rock This

2013-05-10T09:44:54-06:00

Lillian ‘Hot For Teacher’ Müller turns 62 today.That’s her on the left with her daughter. Oh, if you don’t know what Hot for Teacher means, I’ve added a link. Go ahead and click it. We all need naughty thoughts now and then.