Jay the Joke

Philly Puke Gate = Jail Time

2010-07-30T13:14:23-06:00

A 21-year-old New Jersey man was sentenced to jail Friday for vomiting on another spectator and his 11-year-old daughter in the stands at a Philadelphia Phillies game.

Matthew Clemmens, of Cherry Hill, N.J., pleaded guilty in May to charges of assault, harassment and disorderly conduct and was sentenced to one to three months in jail, two years of probation and 50 hours of community service. The maximum penalty was two years in jail.

Link

In Which We Lighten Our Chests (new post up, has hypnotist’s medallion)

2010-07-30T05:23:05-06:00

Happy Friday!

In Which We Saw the Same Old, Same Old

2010-07-29T07:52:41-06:00

The more things change .....

Miguel Batista Disses Miss Iowa

2010-07-29T12:34:44-06:00

Washington Nationals pitcher Miguel Batista inadvertently insulted a certain beauty pageant winner Tuesday night when he said the following quote while interpreting the boos he heard upon being announced as the emergency starter in place of injured Stephen Strasburg: “Imagine if you go to see Miss Universe, then you end up having Miss Iowa, you might get those kind of boos.’’

Miss Iowa fires back.

The LeBron Story Pulled by F*SPN

2010-07-28T20:35:50-06:00

I could care less about LeBron James’ personal life.

But JFC, these guys are pathetic. Is this really all there is for some of the guys to do outside of playing?

Anyway, that’s not the story. The REAL story is F*SPN pulling the story (alleged draft) of its site regarding James’ party in Vegas.

Yahoo reports:

However, on Wednesday morning, ESPN’s Arash Markazi posted (note: link is dead, but that’s where the story lived) his first-person account of LeBron James’ weekend. The column was quickly taken down with no explanation, but thankfully Sam Rigby captured it in all its glory. You can read the whole thing right here, and it’s highly recommended you do. But the whole gist of the story is that Markazi, a former Sports Illustrated and Los Angeles Times contributor, somehow got to spend a few days with James’ entourage and the results are both surprising and totally expected.

Yahoo Link

The pulled story can be found here.

So why would a network after airing “The Decision” and getting gobs of attention for doing just such, conveniently pull this particular story?

Hmmm.... Hmmmm.... Hmmmm......

Baseball Notebook: Ichiro’s Average Dropping Fast

2010-07-28T07:34:23-06:00

Ichiro Suzuki has seen his batting average drop from .360 on May
15 to .307 after White Sox defeated the Mariners 11-0 yesterday.

Ichiro Suzuki is trying to have 200 hits for his tenth consecutive season but is still 73 hits short after slumping since the All Star game break.

He has had only nine hits in 52 at bats since the break while hitting .173 in that span.

Only one of his 22 hits in July has been for extra bases when he doubled on July 15.

He was hitting .360 on May 15 but his batting average has dropped to .307 after an 0 for 4 game yesterday against the Chicago White Sox.

It takes roughly 34 hits a month to have a 200 hit season but Ichiro only has 22 hits this month with four games remaining.

Another interesting stat is that he has only four multi-hit games in July. He had 12 in April, 13 in May and 11 in June.

Ichiro will be 37 in October and has played a lot of baseball having played nine years in Japan and he is in his tenth year in the United States. He has 2,157 hits with the Mariners and 1,434 hits with Orix while playing in Japan for a total of 3,591 hits.

Even though Suzuki has had some bad slumps in the past this one is a major concern since his average has dropped from .360 to .307 in the last two and a half months. He is hitting only .175 in his last ten games with seven hits in his last 40 at bats.

He may bust loose anyday and have a four or five hit game but right now it is questionable whether he will have 200 hits this season and if he will not hit .300 for the first time in his career with the Mariners.

Around the Diamond

The Nationals pulled Stephen Strasburg from his scheduled start against the Braves and they later found he has an inflamed right shoulder. With the Nationals fourteen and a half games behind the NL East leading Braves there is no reason to send him to the mound till they are 100 percent sure he is healthy.

The Reds took an easy 12-4 win over the Brewers behind a 19 hit attack. The first four Reds in their batting order accounted for 15 of those hits with Brandon Phillips having a 4 for 6 game while Orlando Cabrera was 3 for 6, Joey Votto 4 for 6 and Scott Rolen 4 for 4. The four players also drove in seven runs.

It looked like the perfect time for Alex Rodriguez to hit his 600th home run against the Indians yesterday with Josh Tomlin making his major league debut. Instead Tomlin held Rodriguez hitless.

Fausto Carmona will take the mound today against the Yankees and try to prevent the slugger from hitting No.600 and taking Carmona into the record books with him as the pitcher who gave up the 600th home run.

Jose Bautista hit two more home runs yesterday extending his major league lead to 30. Bautista had hit 13 home runs in 59 games before the All Star break. Since then he has hit six in his last 12 games.

He had never hit more than 16 home runs or drove in more than 63 runs in his career before this season. He has already hit 30 home runs and drove in 75 runs this season with 61 games remaining in the 2010 season.

Cubs rookie Tyler Colvin is only two home runs behind team leader Alfonso Soriano who has 18 while Colvin has hit 16 in 82 fewer at bats….Yovani Gallardo had a better game at bat than on the pitcher’s mound. He gave up six runs for the second time in his last three starts in the Brewers 12-4 loss to the Reds but hit the eighth home run of his major league career and his fourth of this season.

The Perfect Baseball/Bar Promotion in Minneapolis

2010-07-28T11:49:21-06:00

Wouldn’t you want to watch the game surrounded by the Twin Titties?

Jack Tatum dies.

2010-07-28T14:30:44-06:00

Hard hitting (to put it mildly) Raider defensive great Jack Tatum has passed away.

http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2010/07/27/sportsline/main6718068.shtml

One wonders if he and Daryll Stingley are finally having the conversation they never had in life.

Deadbeat Doc?

2010-07-27T17:55:54-06:00

Monique, a former flight attendant, said she is unaware of her estranged husband’s whereabouts—only that the 1984 National League Rookie of the Year had been holed up in a hotel somewhere in New Jersey back in May.

The couple wed in January 2009, but Monique claims they haven’t lived together since May 1.

“You know what, right now I’m so stressed, I’ve been so stressed that every day has been a struggle for me,” she said. “I just want support for the kids at this time . . . I just want to take care of them.”

Read more: http://www.nypost.com/p/news/national/the_deadbeat_doc_FPPVugtFwCEPHFkQ1VKxeO#ixzz0uvSHQ8qq

He’s a waste of oxygen.

In Which We Do What We Can for Our Teams

2010-07-28T06:34:18-06:00

"Just do it” takes on a whole new meaning today. Enjoy the post.

Oops, can’t forget the mandatory sing-a-long.