Frank Martin is a Bad Mormon
Posted: 27 March 2010 10:14 AM   [ Ignore ]  
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Why must the man SCREAM AND YELL ALL THE TIME, with RELENTLESSLY RAGING DECIBELS that threaten to topple the six lighted spires atop the Mormon-operated Salt Lake Temple? Does he really have to BROWBEAT AND BERATE AND LAMBASTE his players as if he has zero perspective on basketball’s place in life? There’s no need to have the TV volume up when Frank Martin is going death-stare cuckoo on the Kansas State sideline, because his maniacal eyes always speak for him, blasting right through the closed-captioning scroll.

They are Bobby Knight-scary, vampire-creepy, and the way Martin’s razor-thin eyebrows bend and crease make me wonder when he’ll be hauled away by the men in white jackets and placed in a rubber room for the rest of the NCAA tournament. Or, worse, if he’ll be locked up in Utah, where the locals don’t appreciate such obscene behavior. In this age when a lack of civil restraint has led to college coaches being fired—how’s life, Mike Leach?—I’ve wondered how Martin survives. As it is, in January, he was subjected to considerable media criticism when he smacked the arm of Chris Merriewether with the back of his hand, compelling Martin to issue an apology afterward. So Kansas State lost the game to Missouri. So the senior had contributed to the defeat with a costly late turnover. Did the coach really have to strike him? Isn’t it 2010, Frank?

“They’ve learned pretty quick to just look the other way,’’ Martin said. “Sometimes I feel like—who is that old mythology witch, or whatever, who used to like stare at people and turn them into stone?”

Medusa, he was told during a news conference.

“I feel like Medusa sometimes. They all look the other way,’’ Martin said. “They don’t want to look me in the eye.”

As per usual, the quotes are from AP, the story is old and there is an Obama reference.

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