If you haven't seen it, I highly recommend you check out John Kass' article in the Chicago Tribune today. It's a three-pronged attack. First, Kass introduces the fact that Vin Scully, one of, if not the greatest baseball announcers of all time mentioned a Sandy Koufax perfect game not once, but three times in the ninth inning. Kass quotes Scully:

Three times in his sensational career has Sandy Koufax walked to the mound to pitch a fateful ninth where he turned in a no-hitter. But tonight, September the ninth, nineteen hundred and sixty five, he made the toughest walk of his career, I'm sure, because through eight innings he has pitched a perfect game.

Secondly, he takes some personal shots at Mariotti, one journalist to another.

Garcia wasn't watching TV during the game--he was busy pitching--so a jinx can't apply. Yet it does illustrate the deep-seated resentment held by the Heinie Bird, who so loathes the Sox that he finally fell off that limb he hopped onto.

And finally, he gives Hawk a chance to respond, which Hawk embraces like nobody else could:

"That bird sure used to bug me," Hawk said. "But after this incident, I find the Heinie Bird to be quite amusing. It's not his fault, really. I think he's sick. Mentally."

Lovely. And again, we highly recommend www.palehosesix.com, which today features a lovely strip about this entire issue.

For those of you wondering why Freddy Garcia's perfect game ended in the eighth inning yesterday, Jay has an answer: the Hawk said "perfect through seven." Yes, the same man who rips on Cubs fans for being superstitious thinks that Freddy was doomed by a "jinx" from the team's announcer. And the jinx from the announcer totally outweighs any cosmic wrongdoing ESPN could have done by tuning into the game in that unfortunate 8th inning. We all know this isn't true. This is just an opportunity for Jay to take some petty swipes at a man who has continually called him out on his nonsense.

It's difficult enough tolerating this man's savage butchering of the language, which should be accompanied by subtitles and a ruler-wielding English teacher. But to hear him violate the traditional code that comes with any no-hit bid -- never, ever mention the p-word or the n-word during a broadcast -- basically jinxed any chance of Garcia completing the rare deed.

Yes, folks, he was actually paid to put that in print. How embarrassing. And it wasn't just that one paragraph. He rambles on about the shame that this should bring to the announcers' booth. What he doesn't mention is that his parent network, ESPN, broke into the BoSox - White Sox game last week to announce a no-hitter in progress. That ended up working out well for Anibal Sanchez, so what is Jay trying to accomplish here? If Jay were a street fighter he would be the kind who swings from afar, often slapping instead of punching. This latest chapter in his dispute with the Hawk is so laughably petty that even pre-teen girls are shaking their heads. The Sun-Times might think that having a hated columnist like Jay is good for paper sales, but at this point his reputation is making the entire paper look second rate. Editor's note: The image above is from a comic, Palehose 6, written by Carl Skanberg. I highly suggest you check it out at www.palehose6.com. It is a perfect example of clever, funny and sometimes deservedly harsh commentary on the Sox, something our stubby friend from The Bright One has not been able to manage.

Yes, friends, the same man who once called Frank Thomas "The Big Skirt" is now calling out Kenny Williams for letting him go to the Athletics. Jay, this is the kind of thing that makes you utterly unlikable. The White Sox bought out Frank Thomas' contract at the end of last season instead of going to arbitration with him. To replace him they signed Jim Thome. I challenge anyone to prove they thought this was a mistake. As a White Sox fan, I love Frank Thomas, but he hadn't been producing and was susceptible to injury. In fact, a certain stubby friend of ours gave his approval to the move in a column titled "Williams Shows He's Out To Win Again" which was published the day after the Sox acquired Thome, effectively ending Thomas' reign on the Southside. So to review, almost everyone agreed that losing Frank and trading for Thome was a good move. Now, in one of the heart-warming stories unique to baseball, Thomas is having a great comeback season. Jay, of course, is acting like he knew this would happen all along, despite his countless columns belittling Frank and even suggesting that his career should be over. You know, the standard Mariotti flip. From his May 9th column:

We've seen Frank the Head Case before. Good thing the act is playing elsewhere, so he can be another city's problem. "I'm just shocked I'm hitting under .200,'' Thomas said. "I know what I can do, but I'm not able to get in a groove. I don't understand it.'' Imagine if Williams ran a ballclub according to The Big Blurt's rationale.

Jay's "work" today includes the standard amount of snide comments and stolen quotes, but what it lacks is an interview with the subject of the article, Kenny Williams. And why is that? Because Jay has alienated himself from the entire White Sox organization. Yep. The Sun-Times' big-shot sports columnist is afraid of the owner of two franchises in Chicago. And now, Jay, from atop his perch, deems Kenny Williams an idiot, finishing his column with the "I'm-a-short-and-disliked-kid-on-the-playground-who-isn't-clever-so-I-use-lame-comebacks" challenge of:

Who's the idiot now?

Yeah, Jay. Let's see, who is the idiot? Is it the general manager who brought a world series to the Southside? Or is it the little man who spent all of 2005 predicting that the White Sox would fail?

Wow. That was fast. It took all of one drive for Rex Grossman to emphatically quiet the calls for Brian Griese. A 49-yard toss to a wide open Bernard Berrian put the Bears on the way to a victory so complete that Mariotti made his fastest leap onto a bandwagon I can remember. Fresh off his declaration that the Bears had no shot at a Super Bowl, Mariotti probably wishes he had waited for a game that mattered before making his prediction. I always find it amusing when Jay writes his "OK, this team might actually be pretty good" columns because you can almost feel him cringing as he's writing them. Negativity suits him much more naturally. He also seems to think he needs to keep Chicagoans from getting TOO excited, like we're a bunch of five-year-olds at a brithday party and someone just cracked open the pinata. "Please resist the temptation to multiply this victory by 16 and start the playoffs. But do view it as a springboard for optimism and a showcase of a team's natural capabilities. And do savor it as a reason to believe Rex in the City is more than a tease, especially if the defense provides him a weekly comfort zone." It's almost as if Jay thinks he's granting us permission to be excited. Oh wait, he does. "...you may hope for the best. Permission is hereby granted." Thanks Jay. We were already on board and hoping for the best. Welcome to the bandwagon, just don't act like you're the one driving.

The Sun-Times published its obligatory football preview this morning. Telander and Mariotti had their columns next to each other and two things struck me: 1) Essentially they wrote the same column. 2) They went about it very differently. I'm not blaming either of them for having similar columns. Anything previewing this Bears season says basically the same thing: They should probably win the division and anything beyond that depends on whether the offense (Grossman) can be at least adequate. Telendar's headline: This could be the year if Rex can be the guy Mariotti's: Playoffs, yes; Super Bowl, there's no way Basically they go through and make a lot of the same points about the outlook for this Bears season, but Telandar gives Grossman and the Bears at least a puncher's chance, which is basically how I feel. It's not that I even disagree with some of Jay's points. Like him, I can't figure out how the Bears did absolutely nothing to upgrade the WR/TE position this offseason, and I know there have to be lingering concerns about Rex, who is still a largely unknown talent. Still, they made the playoffs last year with essentially zero offense. Whether it's Grossman, Griese or even a second-year Orton if injuries really strike, shouldn't the offense still improve some? Everyone is in his second year in Ron Turner's system, which should help. And the quarterback play, no matter who it is, ought to be better. Just remember: The Ravens won a Super Bowl with a quarterback tandem of Tony Banks and Trent Dilfer. Anything can happen these days in the NFL. Sure, it's more than likely the Bears won't take the whole thing. Which is precisely Jay swoops in like some kind of swami to boldly decree it, then gloat afterwards. It's like he's out there to cripple every ounce of offseason optimism and goodwill in Chicagoland. To borrow from yesterday's Christmas metaphor: If opening day is Christmas, Mariotti is the Grinch. Whether that makes me Cindy Loo-Hoo I don't know, but I'm not qoing to let him steal my presents. OK, enough holiday analogies. I'm just glad football is back.