Shoeless Joe Jackson: What’s with the lights?
Ray Kinsella: Oh, all the stadiums have them now. Even Wrigley Field.
Shoeless Joe Jackson: Makes it harder to see the ball.
Ray Kinsella: Yeah, well, the owners found that more people can attend night games.
Shoeless Joe Jackson: [Shakes his head] Owners.
Milton Bradley is a sad, sad, sad Cub.
Poor Milton.
$30 million apparently cannot buy happiness.
Some folks here feel that I have been a little harsh on Mr. Bradley. After all, the man is supposedly injured. Or is that just “hurt”. In little league, I remember a coach lecturing to us rug rats on the difference. “Injured” is paramedic time. You cannot play. You have a physical ailment requiring medical treatment. And as for “hurt”? Have your mommy kiss the boo-boo, slap on a band-aid and quit whining.
Milton says he cannot play. Fair enough. His manager, Lou Piniella, also has declared that his star outfielder will not return until he is 100% healthy. Apparently, that is Lou’s longtime policy. Okay, fair enough as well.
So who do we see at the plate in a pinch hitting role last night?
Milton Bradley.
But at least he didn’t strike out this time. He walked. Ultimately it made no difference. The Cubs lost again. And Bradley furthermore risked further injury. Or hurt. Whichever the case, I suppose.
Seems to be a lot of double talk around the clubhouse concerning the authentic physical status of Mr. Bradley. If he were really injured, it would only make sense that he would be placed on the disabled list and call up a fresh, healthy body as a substitute. But oh no, there are only growing whispers of that possibility.
So why not just ask Milton Bradley himself?
Well, his feelings apparently are hurt. Or injured. With Milton, one can never really be sure:
‘’I’m tired of being told somebody wrote this about you when that person has never even come in here and talked to me,’’ Bradley said, when asked whether his public silence the last week and a half had anything to do with problems or issues he has with the Chicago media. ‘’You can’t write articles and consider yourself a legitimate, credible reporter when your information is based on nothing. It’s not you in particular. This is anybody.
‘’Basically, for me, I talk to people I like. I don’t particularly like the media, and the media doesn’t like me. So let’s not pretend we’re buddies or you’re trying to do anything for me. If anything, you hurt me more than help. So I don’t see any benefit of really talking to the media. That’s just how I feel. That’s how I’ve always felt.’’
Yapping about why you are not yapping? That is about as consistent as your playing status.
Oh gee whiz Milton, you mean the media hasn’t been overly kind to an oft injured, suspended waiting for appeal, .043 hitter that refuses to talk to the local news guys?
And by the way, if you think this is “unfair"*, count your lucky stars that AWOL Jay is not nailing you to a cross alongside Jim Hendry on the back page of the Chicago Sun-Times.
Perhaps somebody in the clubhouse might be wise to throw a flea flicker in Milton’s ear. Assuming of course, his listening capabilities are not as impaired as those tortured adductor muscles. And gently remind him that it is the Chicago Tribune that still writes the checks.
Yes Milton, you work for a newspaper company. You confessed to hating your boss. And suggested your boss hates you in return. A bankrupt business perhaps looking to unload the Wrigley White Elephant over to Gordon Ricketts Gekko, but still your boss nonetheless.
Get well soon. Physically and mentally. Your teammates need you. Derrick is aging 10 years by the inning and has been reduced to warning track hitting status. Aramis is hurting. And now something is up with Carlos Marmol. If this continues, Neal Cotts will be given a contract extension and Kosuke will be hailed as the greatest Cub hitter of all-time.
And be careful going up those slippery stairs to the press box when hunting down Steve Rosenbloom. Wouldn’t want to see anyone slip and fall. Re-tearing an ACL is nasty business.
Worker’s compensation is awfully expensive these days. And the Tribune probably doesn’t need the extra financial woes. As it is, your $30 million is more than enough of a burden.
Milton Bradley, welcome to Chicago.
It isn’t even really coffee. It is one of those fu fu de-caf things that pretends to be coffee. Kind of like a 9 year old girl in a wedding dress, it’s not fooling anyone .Except maybe in Arkansas.
Anyway, on to real news.
The Sox lost yesterday and I managed to avoid using Colon and Cleansed in the same sentence. Well, until now, that is. While Bartolo Colon has looked good his previous three starts yesterday left a little to be desired. Oh, okay, it was freaking brutal to watch. It was like he forgot what that round thing, that they insisted on handing him, was for. Worse yet, Jermaine Dye snapped a 95 game errorless streak. I guess when it rains, it pours. Even so, the Sox came home with a 6-4 record off of this road trip and are still tied for first place.
The Cubs are also 6-4 over their last 10 games, however 8 of them have been at home. They are also on pace to set an MLB record with a loss in every game they have committed an error. Thus far that totals 6 of their 6 losses. So, a team that has been built around a power hitting offense now must field a solid defense to compete. Before Cubs fans start lining up on the ledge all decked out in their funereal blues, please keep in mind that their best defensive outfield will feature Soriano, Johnson and Fukudome who are hitting a combined .319. There may be a few less home runs with that line up, but there will also be far fewer brain curdling gaffes.
In other words, stick around, this should be a good year for Chicago baseball.
The Bulls. I don’t know what to do here. When I write nice things about them they go and play like they have never heard of the game before. When I rip on them they beat the Celtics on their home court and scare the hell out of the rest of the league. I am hoping that this is serendipity and not proof that the current roster of the Bulls is paying such close attention to this site.
But, just in case; WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU? DEFENSE IS NOT THAT STUPID THING AROUND YOUR LAWN. GET OFF YOUR DEAD ASSES AND PLAY LIKE WE KNOW YOU CAN. JESUS, YOU ARE DRIVING ME TO DRINK .... more.
The Hawks return home to face The Flames on Saturday night. I tried to get reasonably priced ticket to the game. I learned to love the sound of scalpers laughing. So, I will, instead, trundle over to my favorite watering hole and enjoy the game. This has been an exciting year for this team and I would bet that Saturday night will be one heck of a game.
GO HAWKS!
In other news, Major League Soccer has set a new, and I think - wonderful, precedent by charging Milan Italy 10 million dollars to keep David Beckham out of the United States (at least until July). Just think, if this idea catches on with other sports, we could be a whiny, self absorbed, loser free country by 2011.
It is innovations like this that make one proud to be an American.
Oh well, it is ADD Friday, so I will keep this short, CLICK HERE TO MAKE FUN OF DE-CAF COFFEE!
It has been a heck of a week for me. From discovering that beating your head with a brick is more soothing than talking to the gas company, to finding out that I am not as young or nimble as I once believed myself to be. Suffice it to say that hitting Thursday brings with it a certain joy in the sense that this mess is almost over.
Sure, there have been some highlights this week. The Hawks are deeper in the playoffs than they have been in almost a decade. Derrick Rose won Rookie of the Year in the NBA and deserved it. The Chicago Fire are still unbeaten. The White Sox are in a 3-way scrum for first place and the Cubs .... well, they continue to be the Cubs.
But, no matter what happened to me this week, I have to admit that it is better than losing over $30,000 a day in income. That is what is happening to the Yankees right now.
I couldn’t wish this on nicer people.
The, currently, 3rd place Yankees are not only not selling out like they used to, they are not selling any of those cool pricey seats they were counting on to pay their bills. RONALD BLUM (AP) brings us all up to speed.
At the new Yankee Stadium, the best seats in the house have turned out to be the emptiest. The most expensive spots in America’s costliest ballpark have become an embarrassment packing a financial sting to the proud New York Yankees, as the Legends Suite section in the infield has been filled only once in the six games since the $1.5 billion stadium opened last week.
On most days, the seats that cost $500-$2,500 as part of season tickets and go up to $2,625 for individual games haven’t been close to full. And as TV cameras pick up the patchy attendance with every pitch, it serves as a little tweak to the nation’s richest baseball franchise.
“We’re done talking about seats,” Yankees president Randy Levine said Wednesday. “We’re not talking about seats.”
But fans sure notice.
“It’s been pretty phenomenal,” said Aaron Feldstein, a native Californian who lived in Brooklyn for a couple of years and now resides in Baltimore. He was part of the far-from-sellout crowd at the Yankees’ 9-7 victory in 14 innings Wednesday over the Oakland Athletics on a showery, cold afternoon. The Legend Suite section was about 80 percent empty, and the upper decks — which have been mostly full — were a quarter empty.
Well, Randy may be done talking about seats, but the rest of the country is just starting.
Ignoring the argument as to whether public monies should be used for sports facilities since that would require dissertations from economists that we can not afford to employ, the Yankees are still facing a huge problem. Strictly from a PR standpoint, lots of empty seats on national TV makes them look like a 3A team that is barnstorming. From a more practical viewpoint, a big part of the reason they got financed was because they promised investors that those seats would be full more often than not and “not” has been the operative word.
Yes, part of it is due to the current economy, but not all. I actually know some die-hard Yankees fans who could easily afford those tickets. Each and every one has told me there is no way in hell they would pay those prices for regular games. They feel as though they are being taken advantage of and they will not stand for that.
Gee, who’d a thunk that millionaires aren’t morons?
Clearly no one in the Yankees organization.
There are very few authors who can make the story about themselves and make it worth the reader’s time. Ernest Hemingway, W.E.B. Du Bois, Hunter S. Thompson and Alex Haley pop to mind. There might be one or two others.
I will admit that sports journalists have a tougher time than many since the reader expects to find out the author’s personal take on the events at hand and to feel like they were there with them. Most successful sports writers accomplish this through small vignettes and allow the facts of the story to take center stage.
Most also tend to write about events that are current in the reader’s mind. As one journalist once told me, “That way the manure is fresh in the ground for cultivating.” I guess that’s as good a way as any to look at it.
So, it comes as no surprise that today we are graced with a story* about a non-event that occurred on March 24th of this year and manages to finally tie Rod Balgojevich, the Cubs and himself* all into one festering boil of an article*.
He* who shall not be named writes*;
Promising myself that I’d take four showers afterward, while mixing extra-strength Tide with the soap, I reluctantly appeared on a radio show hosted by the scummy Rod Blagojevich. He tried to butter me up by saying he watches our TV show on ESPN—“I don’t have as much to do in the afternoon,” he said—but I figured it was my Illinois civic duty to hammer the disgraced ex-governor about something.
The opening came early. He asked if I agreed with him that his beloved Cubs, in their 101st season of punishing hearts and torturing minds, finally will win the World Series this year. I lambasted him for randomly proposing the thought and ignoring the voluminous historical evidence against that ever happening, then asked him to do me a favor next time he goes to Wrigley Field. I requested he not sing “Go Cubs Go,” the communal fight song, after any early-season victories.
“I think we have to cherish all the good moments,” Blago argued.
My first guess is that it took his* intern that long to look up the proper spelling, and meaning, of “voluminous” and that is why he* is writing about this almost a month after the fact.
My second guess would be that he* wanted to see how the Cubs actually were doing before allowing his* dire predictions to see the light of day. Or, at least peek out of the bunker. My second guess seems closer.
Of course, what he* really needed is other writers to have done all the actual interviewing and thinking for him* so that he* can ape their work. Sun Times writer, GORDON WITTENMYER, took a long look at the racism that is endemic at Wrigley. His article was thoughtful, timely and written as well as it was researched. It was also, only mildly, reworked to create this paragraph.
What possibly might Bradley do at Wrigley, where fans are known to overimbibe, throw baseballs and trash on the field and even fire the n-word at people they don’t like? Former Cubs skipper Dusty Baker, now with the Reds, used to mention his racially spiced hate mail. LaTroy Hawkins and Jacque Jones are among ex-Cub players who dealt with vicious personal attacks. Bradley claims he’s ready for anything—and, so far, fans have showered him with warm ovations—but as sure as superfan Ronnie (Woo Woo) Wickers is wandering around Wrigleyville in his head-to-toe Cubs uniform, Moody Milton will blow at some point.
Yes, Milton has already blown, but that knowledge would require actually having watched a game here or there. So, clearly it is beyond him*.
What kills me about today’s tripe, besides the fact that some idiot published it, is how completely irrelevant it is. The non-story happened a month ago. There is no actual journalism to be found anywhere in the article* (other than that cobbled from others) and the first person narrative about Blago, which might have been the only interesting thing about this, is gone before the third paragraph. After that it is just the same tired swipes at The Tribune, Cubs fans and so on.
Well, we read this crap so you don’t have too.
Back in September I picked the Bulls to make the playoffs. People, who informed me that they were MUCH smarter than me, were kind enough to put their money where their mouths are. I will be picking up my two free cases of properly chilled beer this weekend and enjoying every succulent drop.
Not all at once, I have a liver to maintain you know.
**to the tune of “Yesterday” by The Beatles
Yesterday, all my brewskies seemed so far away
Now it looks as though they’re here to stay
Oh, I believe in beer today.
Also back in the fall, wiser minds than mine informed me that The Blackhawks were going to be better this year but not make the playoffs until 2010. I have already had the free beers I earned for disagreeing with those folks, but I want to assure you that the precious memory of free beer will linger for quite some time.
**to the tune of “U Can’t Touch This” by MC Hammer
It feels so good when you know you’re down
A super-dope hockey fan from cold Chi-Town
And I am known as such
a hockey fan that you can’t touchUh huh, can’t touch this!
Yes, the Hawks and the Bulls both lost yesterday. I read the papers too. But, the facts are simple, both of these teams are on the way up and both are farther along this year than anyone could have reasonably predicted.
Does that mean I will be satisfied if they are one and done? Not at all. It just means that I am enjoying these playoffs a little bit more than most. Of course, the free beer helps.
However, listening to some call in shows and trolling a few blogs would have lead me to believe that both teams are doomed, coached by morons and should forfeit the remaining games to prevent further embarrassment.
I love my sports teams but my personal self worth does not ride on their performances. Nevertheless, for those who it does, I offer this;
**to the tune “Stairway to Heaven” by Led Zepplin
There’s a ledge that is old
all covered with mold,
so why don’t you step back and quit all your whi-ning?
We have a soccer team that is currently unbeaten, both baseball teams are either tied for, or in, first place and there are meaningful playoff games for basketball and hockey happening right freaking now. If this is the kind of sports action that causes you to suffer from depression, you need a new life. Or, at the very least, a new perspective on the one you got.
**“Let the Sunshine In” from Hair
Let the sunshine
Let the sun shine in
the sun - shine in.
You can do it.
Now, let’s see the print publications try a column like this.