Do you know what autopay means? I thought I did. I was under the impression that, if you left a valid credit card number in an account that, once a month, the company would bill your card and send you a receipt.
As it turns out, I was wrong.
Autoppay NOW means that the company puts a little sticky note on their web site and you are supposed to find it, click it, fill in your info and then pay it.
As I noted, I did not know that. And, when I called to mention this fact to the nice people at Customer Support, I was told that they had put a memo on the web site I never visited (since I thought I had autopay enabled) which let everyone know that.
Well, everyone but me and, judging by the hold time, about 90% of their other customers as well.
Nevertheless, this exciting new meaning for the word autopay lead me to check out some of my other accounts. It turns out that this was a VERY good idea on my part. It seems that several companies have adapted this wonderfully fun approach to the term and I was in arrears on several accounts. So, after clicking and filling and so on, on multiple sites, I am now all caught up to date.
Just for the record, I do not like this new verison of the word autopay.
It has been explained to me that this fabulous development was done for my safety. Why is it whenever someone does something that is supposed to benefit me it only causes me irritation and pain? How do those two items benefit me in any way?
I have also learned that the next time I hear a stewardess say “don’t worry folks, the other engines seem just fine” will probably be the last. It is bad enough dealing with the TSA, the ramped up prices for the littlest things, the insane delays that are never explained, the stale peanuts that are supposed to pass for food, the multiple stops on the simplest routes, the borderline Nazis that run various services and so on. I do not think it is too much to ask that the freaking airplane have all of its engines working.
Sure, that could just be me, but I doubt it in this case.
I have also found out that I can no longer be named Bill. This stunning revelation was foisted upon me by a ticket agent who informed me that Bill is no longer an officially sanctioned version of William. I thought she was kidding.
She was not. From now on your airline ticket must match your State ID or Passport exactly or you can not fly. Now, I have about 40 forms of ID that say Bill on them; including all my credit cards and 2 work visas from my trips to Europe. But, that is not good enough.
This is also being done for my safety.
No, the nice people at the TSA could not explain HOW this made my life safer, just that it would so shut the heck up, take off your damn shoes and get in line or we will have you arrested.
Yep. I feel safer now.
Nevertheless, as you may have noticed, I am back from my little trip and, as it turns out, the world really cannot function without me.
I’m sorry the site went down due to the fun I had with autopay. Had I had my account numbers with me in Texas I could have taken care of this, but all I had was my credit card info, my social security number and everything BUT the damn PIN they require before they will talk to you.