You can’t always get what you want
But if you try sometimes
you (just) might find
You get what you need
- Rolling Stones

Each day, when I open up the secret part of the site and check on who wants to be a new member (sorry, Free-Viagra-For-You@HotF***ingTeen.***, you are not getting in) and check my messages (I never knew that so many people were interested in the capabilities of my penis) I also grab the various headlines that relate to Chicago sports to see if there is anything I can write about that you may, or may not, be interested in. This morning, just out of curiosity, I scanned back through the notices for the past 12 months and was only able to count 2 as emanating from our namesake and, of those, only one that made the front page.

It’s like a breath of fresh air.

As he* who shall not be named continues his lethargic nose dive into obscurity, it is nice to enjoy one of our fondest wishes up here being fulfilled in a manner akin to Chinese water torture. At least for him*. For us, it more like the slow opening of a beautiful flower.

I bring all of this up for two reasons; (1), to kill some time and; (2), because it fits the theme of the two stories I found to share with you today.

Both stories are baseball related so, as is my usual wont, I will start on the Northside. CARRIE MUSKAT of MLB.com reports that Xavier Nady wanted to bat so he DHed for Carlos Zambrano who needed to pitch.

Nady is still working on throwing. He’s been working with pitching coach Larry Rothschild on his mechanics and is able to throw from 120 feet. However, manager Lou Piniella said Nady won’t be full throttle until June 1.

“It’s a work in progress,” Nady said. “Even I couldn’t tell you if I’ll be ready April 10 or when I’ll feel comfortable to let it fly. The June 1 [date] is more to play and a guy tags from third, try to throw him out at home. That gives me almost 11 months [since the surgery].”

He will be able to play the outfield before then and the Cubs will simply have to make some defensive adjustments, moving the cutoff men back to compensate.

“I heard ‘June,’” Nady said, “but I could play some games here and there. I really don’t know. I think time will tell.”

It did feel good to be in a game, his first since a Minor League rehab outing June 25. Nady was with Triple-A Scranton/Wilkes-Barre and removed himself from the game after making a throw from the outfield. He underwent surgery July 8.

A career .280 hitter, he’s projected as a backup outfielder and pinch-hitter.

“I was happy to be back out there,” Nady said about Wednesday’s game. “It felt a little awkward at first, first pitch or two. Obviously, your timing is going to be a little awkward. It was a positive feeling to be out there and swing unrestricted and we’ll go from there.”

“Nady can hit,” Piniella said. “We have to get him out there on the field and let him get his at-bats. If we can get him on the field, Nady is going to do some damage with the bat.”

The Giants’ Pablo Sandoval looked like he was in midseason form when he launched a 2-0 pitch from Zambrano over the right-field fence in the third inning.

“Do you know how many home runs Barry Bonds hit off me? One,” Zambrano said. “That was in Spring Training.”

Zambrano, making his second spring start, gave up five runs on six hits in three innings, hit a batter and walked one.

“They got lucky with the bloopers,” Zambrano said of the Giants’ hitters in the 30-pitch third. “This is Spring Training. The good thing about it is my fastball is running good and all my pitches are good. They got lucky, which sometimes the hitters are.”

At the end of the day Nady did look pretty good considering how rusty he must be and, well, as for Carlos, there are going to be days like that no matter what you do. For some reason, in the 3rd inning, his pitches were just slow. Maybe he was tired, I don’t know. Even so, the Cubs got in their work and managed to get some looks at younger players.

Side note here; last year I bitched about Lou using veterans too much in early Spring Training just so he could get the wins. This year he is running a much more balanced line up. The Giants, now, are the ones who are going to be burned out in August if they don’t pay attention. The again, it’s the Giants, so who gives a flying .... squirrel?

On the Southside, Ozzie wanted a team that could actually pitch and catch the ball. Some speed on the bases would be nice too, he mentioned one or two or, oh okay, about 20,000 times. This year he got his wish. For Ozzie, Santa is a skinny black man wearing a nice Armani suit with a cell phone glued to his ear. He wouldn’t have it any other way. JOE COWELY, the author of yesterday’s uncredited byline at the Sun Times, takes a look at how they do the humpty-hump at Camelback Ranch.

The White Sox manager was in the dugout Wednesday afternoon embracing the idea that this could all fall back to him—and that public opinion might turn against him if 2010 is a failure for the Sox.

‘’That’s just fine with me—I’ve been the fall guy for six years,’’ Guillen said.

It was Guillen who said no thanks to bringing back slugger Jim Thome, who ended up with the division rival Minnesota Twins. It’s Guillen who has been begging general manager Ken Williams for more speed, less power. It was Guillen who said he could make a designated-hitter-by-committee work.

With the Twins going from preseason favorite to likely needing serious help at closer in the wake of Joe Nathan’s elbow injury, the Sox are in position to make this season memorable—if Guillen’s plan works.

‘’When we talk about the ballclub, we look at the future, the way baseball is going, how we play the year before, what we need,’’ Guillen said. ‘’If you look at this ballclub in the past, great players, we’ve had great success, but in the meanwhile we’ve been looking around and saying, ‘Wow, how can we change this?

‘’You can see the difference from this spring training to the ones in the past. We have 12 stolen bases already, where in previous spring trainings we might have one at this point. We’re trying to score more runs in a different way. We still have guys in the middle that can hit for power, but also have more guys that can go from first to third on a base hit.

‘’When you talk about speed, that also relates to defense. We can get to more balls, and that will help our pitchers. Last year, we were making errors left and right, and that cost us a lot of games, a lot of innings.

‘’Like I say, I’m not afraid to go out and fight with these guys because we have a pretty balanced ballclub.’’

Let’s take a look at that balance, shall we? MLB.com was kind enough to give us a brief synopsis.

After going down quickly in the first two innings, the White Sox exploded for seven runs in the third. Andruw Jones tallied a two-run triple and A.J. Pierzynski drove in another two runs with a base hit, while Brent Morel added an RBI double and Alejandro De Aza had two hits and an RBI. Alex Rios also drove in a run during the frame. Chicago had 14 hits on the day.

There must be something in the Arizona air in third innings. Anyway, seven runs, no homers. Just like Ozzie drew it up in the dirt.

Yes, the team still has to get used to the DH by Committee plan that Ozzie is implementing (although most seem to like it more and more each day) and a lot of guys are going to be hitting the treadmills much more aggressively. This team hasn’t run this much on the bases in 5 years. They had better have those legs in shape for the long haul.

Simply put, if PK is going to bunt, then someone’s lazy butt better be tearing up the base paths to make that worthwhile.

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Nothing like a good old comparison/contrast to kick off a happy hump day. You’ve got your ying and you have your yang. You’ve got your ... oh, hell, you’ve got opposites. You get that. I don’t need to go any further.

Yesterday, two vaunted hitters took time out of their busy days to talk to the media. One took the time to say what a great city Chicago is by pointing out that not everyone here is a, foaming at the mouth, racist. The other took some time to note that he kind of likes not having to swing for the fences any more. Both were asked questions about baseball. Go figure.

Anyway, as PAUL SULLIVAN at the Tribune reported, it was Chicago’s favorite son who brought up the first part of our blog. Ah yes, what would a day be like without Milton Bradley? We may never know.

In his latest salvo aimed at the Cubs, Milton Bradley claims he wanted manager Lou Piniella to apologize to him in front of his teammates after Piniella called him a “piece of (expletive)” during a confrontation last June.

Piniella declined, according to Bradley.

“The next day, he called me into his office and wanted to apologize,” Bradley told ESPN. “I felt you put me on blast, called me out in front of everybody, you’re going to apologize in front of everybody.

“He didn’t choose to go that route, but I accepted his apology nonetheless, because as a Christian that’s what you do. I don’t have time to hold grudges against people.”

The day after the incident, Piniella apologized to Bradley personally and also made a public apology to him through the media for the harsh words. At the time, Bradley said he accepted it.

Now, after being traded to the Mariners, Bradley is on the offensive. He repeated to ESPN the stories of receiving hate mail and that his 3-year-old son was called a “derogatory” name.

Bradley also repeated the story of alleged racist remarks by Chicago waiters, which he told Cubs beat writers last August.

In the ESPN variation, Bradley added Alfonso Soriano’s name.

Bradley insisted to ESPN that Chicago is still one of his favorite cities.

“When people ask me what city you like to go to as a visitor, Chicago is always No. 1,” he said. “I just really had a bad experience. I don’t think the entire city of Chicago is racist or anything like that.”

Well, it’s good to know that they aren’t holding Klan rallies at City Hall or anything like that. I was getting worried. Anyway, despite Bradley’s memory of the situation, Piniella called him a P.O.S. in the hall behind the dug out and not in front of his team. It was heard by more reporters than team mates. And Lou apologized to Bradley’s face and presented a mea culpa to the media. The fact that Bradley felt, and still feels, the need to humiliate Piniella above and beyond getting an apology is a pretty clear look into a very disturbed, narcissistic, mind.

Oh well, thank God and Greyhound he’s gone.

On the Southside we get a slightly different perspective from another hitter. As SOMEONE at the Sun Times reports (the story is uncredited), Paul Konerko is digging small ball. As he notes, you only need one more run than the other guys to win.

It is still very early into Cactus League play for Paul Konerko to have a truly good idea of what kind of offense the White Sox will be unleashing this season.

But the team captain knows what they won’t have, and he likes it.

‘’Offensively, we feel the release of the obligation to hit for power,’’ Konerko said Tuesday. ‘’Where you felt like we had to keep up with the big power-hitting teams, I feel like, ‘OK, we’re punting on that idea.’ We’re not that type of team anymore, and it’s kind of refreshing to be a team that goes into a game with that kind of mind-set because it was always the other way around. It was no one’s fault; it was just the pieces we kind of had here. It’s a good thing now.’’

While Konerko said it wouldn’t be fair to compare this team to the 2005 World Series team, he couldn’t help but point to the similarities.

‘’I always go back to the years you win,’’ Konerko said. ‘’The closest thing to that was 2005, where that team could blow some people out, beat up some people. But you always felt that you would go into every game feeling it was going to be a 2-1 game. That was our mind-set that season.

‘’Hopefully, this team will have that by the end of spring training because I always felt that type of team was tougher to play than the big-swinging-and-missing type of team. You’re going to play 40-plus one-run games each season, and hopefully we feel comfortable in those games because we’ve kind of lost that the last couple of years.’’

I remember in September of 2005 when Ozzie was, jokingly, complaining that the team was going to give him an ulcer with all the one run games they were winning. If that is all he has to worry about this year, I think this team will do fine. Our anonymous author noted that as well.

Guillen was asked what life would be like if the Sox had to play in the American League East with the New York Yankees and Boston Red Sox and didn’t flinch.

‘’Yes, [we would be competitive] because we have five [starters] out there and our lineup has some good balance,’’ Guillen said. ‘’Last year, I said at the end of the season, ‘If we have this ballclub going into spring training ... ‘ Ha! Well, I have it now. Now we will see what we can do.’’

I know that the old adage is “be careful what you wish for,” but I liked this team after they cleared out the flotsam last year as well. I was talking, via email, with Scott Merkin of MLB.com earlier this year and we figured that Contreras and Colon cost the Sox 25 games last year. The Sox got immediately better, and the team looked more alive, after their departure. There is something to be said for addition by subtraction. Although that Peavy guy wasn’t a bad call either.

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First, some important news, “Tank Top Girl” is back for another Spring Training at Ho Ho Kam and is in her regular seat in section DD. No, I am not making that up. Never let it be said that the staff at Jay the Joke doesn’t dig as deep as we can to get you the news you need.

In other news, that some people might occasionally be interested in, both the Cubs and Sox have survived the first week of Spring Training. And both are holding to, long held, traditions. The Cubs have their DL list up to 5 and the Sox made Ozzie utter a slew of profanities so loudly that they were heard in the bleachers. Due to the injuries on the Northside the Cubs have opened up a free for all race for roster spaces on the pitching staff. As, the eternally pleasant, CARRIE MUSKAT of MLB.com reports, there are more arms than spots, so Lou just gets to sit back and let the last ones standing make the team.

“I’ve said good competitiveness really helps the team, and I think that’s what this is,” (Ryan) Dempster said. “We’re all pulling for each other and want everybody to do well. For me, I want to go out and pitch well and push those guys to do the best they can.

“I think you’re going to see the best come out in all those guys fighting for a couple different spots,” he said. “In the end, no matter who makes it or who doesn’t make it, it’ll make all of us better.”

Marshall, Samardzija and Gorzelanny all would prefer to start. Samardzija did have success as a reliever in 2008, posting a 2.28 ERA in 26 relief appearances.

“I’m not the same guy I was then or even last year,” the right-hander said. “I’m a totally different pitcher. I like how I’m throwing now, I really do. I’m excited to get out there again and get the pitch count up and get deeper in a game.”

He’s probably under more scrutiny because of his star status at Notre Dame as an All-America wide receiver.

“If you ask anybody, they’d rather have the pressure of being pushed quick and trying to make the adjustment than having to grind it out for four, five years,” Samardzija said. “I put the pressure on myself to learn quick. ... Where I’m at now is a good spot.”

Gorzelanny had to wait through a seven-run seventh before he got into the game, and the long inning might have contributed to his feeling a little uncomfortable in his first Cactus League game. The lefty pitched in relief last season, his first with the Cubs.

“Obviously, [starting] is my No. 1 goal,” Gorzelanny said. “That’s what I was brought up being and what I’ve always wanted to be, and what I made my somewhat mark in this game is as a starter. That’s all I want to do. If it comes to it, whatever happens happens, as long as I’m part of the team.”

Carlos Silva also is in the mix, and the two who don’t make the rotation were expected to slide into the bullpen. On Monday, pitching coach Larry Rothschild met with manager Lou Piniella to go over the young pitchers on the roster. They narrowed the list to five or six who can compete for a job in the bullpen.

“They all have good arms or they wouldn’t be here,” Piniella said. “They all have ability. You have to find out about the experience factor and how they respond. That’s why these Spring Training games are so important, and not only for us, but for a few of these guys. There are some spots here.”

The only relievers who appear set are closer Carlos Marmol and setup pitchers John Grabow and Esmailin Caridad. Marshall has experience in both roles; he’s been an effective swingman.

“I like starting,” Marshall said. “It’s a routine. I also enjoy coming in almost every game, [which I did] for a while last year and getting guys out in big situations. One of the most exciting games I had last year was when I came in against the White Sox in the bottom of the eighth and threw one pitch and got a double play and we won the game. That was one of my highlights from last year, besides playing left field.”

Marshall was in left for one batter in a double switch, then switched back so he could stay in the game. He’s ready in case Piniella wants him back in the outfield.

“I’m sure [Piniella] sees me out there shagging,” Marshall said. “I don’t want to go diving after balls.”

Of course, they could just sign Kerry Wood again. But that would be cheating.

On the Southside, Dayan Viciedo got a very fast lesson on what happens to base-runners who do not run very fast. All around nice guy, SCOTT MERKIN also of MLB.com, manages to clean up the resulting tirade enough to make it fit to print.

Dayan Viciedo learned an important lesson on Monday, one he probably should have known already from his year as part of the White Sox system.

The lesson?

Hustle down the line on every ball hit, regardless of how routine the play is for the defense or where the game is being played.

Viciedo failed to run out a popup during Monday’s “B” game against the Dodgers, and heard about that mistake from general manager Ken Williams and manager Ozzie Guillen.

Sitting in the Camelback Ranch stands with assistant general manager Rick Hahn, Williams yelled from his perch about Viciedo’s lack of effort on this particular play. It was a stern suggestion, with no margin for interpretation, regarding this non-grinder type of move.

By the time Williams made his way down to talk to Guillen in the White Sox dugout, Guillen already had talked with Viciedo. He shared Williams’ disappointment, if not taking it to a slightly higher level.

“I was more upset than Kenny was. We don’t put up with that stuff here, and we don’t like players playing like that,” said Guillen, speaking on the matter following the White Sox 5-4 loss to the Mariners in the afternoon’s Cactus League contest.

“Especially from a kid who just played Double-A last year, and especially the way the Minor League kids are playing right now, the way they’re playing well and hustling,” Guillen said. “I talked to him in the dugout before Kenny came down. I talked to him in the dugout after Kenny came down, and he promised me it won’t happen again.”

This move from Viciedo basically came out of frustration. The good-natured young man, who turns 21 on Wednesday, finds himself in a somewhat crucial year to prove himself, per Guillen’s spring words. Viciedo had a solid debut with the Barons in 2009 but also is in the second year of a four-year, $10-million deal, which is not commonly found among Minor Leaguers.

Money is immaterial in this matter, though. Guillen has pulled players before from big league games under these same conditions and preaches playing hard at all times as one of the few rules on this White Sox team.

“It’s something that I make very clear in Spring Training,” Guillen said. “I don’t care if we play a ‘D’ game or if we play against the coaches. We play for a reason. And the reason is to play good, no matter who you play.

“He made a mistake. Hopefully he learns from that mistake, and I don’t expect that to happen again and you move on. He knows he did a wrong thing. And it will be a better thing for him next time.”

Ah yes, carrying on the mythical tradition laid down by Carlton Fisk to Deion Sanders, Ozzie let some very choice words echo across the fine state of Arizona.  Run hard or get splinters. It is an easy lesson to learn. But one that seems lost on many players these days.

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It’s Monday. The traditional back to work day for the masses. For many of those masses, it is the day after mass. So, you could say that Monday is the massive post mass massing of the masses. But, I hope you won’t.

Angel Guzman, of the Cubs, is going to be spending his Monday talking to doctors about the severely torn ligament in his throwing shoulder. I asked a buddy of mine, who is a sports doctor, what Guzman’s chances were of returning to play baseball. She said (based solely on currently published reports), “Very slim. If he just has rehab, then he will regain function of the arm but will be unlikely to be able to regain the motion required for pitching. If he has surgery, he should regain the motion, but the power and control will most likely be gone.” This poor guy just can’t catch a break.

However, it is a gray day outside and I don’t want to pile any more depressing news on you, so I am going to focus on some fun stuff instead. On the Northside, the Sun Times very own, ELLIOTT HARRIS reports that Ernie Banks has been pitching a film idea to Harold “Ghost Busters” Ramis about the Cubs.

COMEDY CUB: Ernie’s the pitchman for a Ramis

Let’s film, too.

After Harold Ramis was honored at Saturday’s Landmark Legends Gala at the Palmer House Hilton (along with Mr. Cub Ernie ‘’Let’s Play Two’’ Banks and businessman/Chicago marathon founder Lee Flaherty), Quick Hits had but one question for the multitalented movie man:

With ‘’Ghostbusters 3’’ in the works, shouldn’t there be a ‘’Groundhog Day 2’’—possibly with a Cubs theme?

‘’Ernie Banks already pitched me a movie,’’ Ramis said. ‘’He wants me to do the ‘Caddyshack’ of baseball about the Cubs.’’

Would a Cubs-themed ‘’Groundhog Day 2’’—with a happy ending—be too implausible?

‘’They win the [World] Series in the ending?’’ Ramis pondered. He stroked his beard. ‘’I’m not sure.’’

OK, so would the Cubs movie be a comedy or a tragedy?

‘’Comedy,’’ Banks said. ‘’[It would be] when the Cubs win the World Series, [featuring] players from each generation.’’

Sounds more like science fiction. Especially that part about winning the World Series.

‘’On DVD,’’ Banks said. ‘’Bill Murray will be in it. Whoopi Goldberg will be in it. People who follow the Cubs for more than 30 years can get a DVD in the wintertime and look at the Cubs in a World Series.’’

If that’s not a Hollywood ending, nothing is.

What was not noted in the article is that Bill Murray will be depicting Alfonso Soriano and Whoopi Goldberg will be portraying Carlos Zambrano.

Who knows? After Major League came out Cleveland went from door mats to perennial contenders. At least for a while. It could be a good thing.

Or it could be one of those things that would haunt Cubs fans for all time. But, we’ll never know until they make it, so stick around.

On the Southside, TONI GINETTI, also of the Sun Times, reports that Jake Peavy has gotten Omar Vizquel to sing country music.

Nope, you just can’t make this stuff up.

WOODJOCK?

Jake Peavy can wing it.

And he can pick it.

With a guitar, that is.

The newest White Sox ace is proving he is a man of more than just pitching talent as he settles in with the team. He will use one of those extra talents, as a country music fan and player, to help raise money for the Jake Peavy Foundation, which helps a number of organizations, including White Sox Charities. Peavy and teammates Scott Linebrink, Omar Vizquel and Gordon Beckham will be on stage with seven other major leaguers on Thursday for a benefit in Scottsdale called Woodjock Jam Fest.

‘’It’s just a fun way to raise money that’s different than the usual golf tournaments people use to raise money,’’ Peavy said. ‘’We’re super excited about it. It’s going to be a blast.’’

The event expects to draw an audience of about 1,400 to The Venue in Scottsdale.

‘’I’ve played and recorded some before, but never before a crowd like this,’’ Linebrink said. ‘’It’s going to be a little nerve-racking, but it can be a fun deal.’’

The cast includes Barry Zito, Bernie Williams, Bronson Arroyo, Tim Flannery, Aubrey Huff, Brandon Medders and Ben Broussard. Vizquel doesn’t quite fit the ‘’country’’ image, ‘’but he’s my locker-mate, and I said, ‘If you want to come and sing, come on,’’’ Peavy said. ‘’It’s designed to be fun for the fans and us, and in the end we’ll raise money for some great causes.’’

Among the causes are Strikeouts for Troops, which will host 22 injured servicemen attached to the Wounded Warrior Battalion West to the event. Also benefiting will be White Sox Charities, a local autism organization called Autism Speaks and Team Focus USA, an Alabama-based outreach program mentoring fatherless young men.

All worthy causes. It saddens me that I can’t attend, but it is good to know that, even in my august absence, a lot of people are going to have fun and help others. Plus, just the idea of Omar Vizquel busting out a Latin tinged version of Kawa-Liga should be worth the price of admission.

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I was going to bust out a bunch of tired Goldilocks’ references. Fortunately for all involved I had an attack of common sense. I also had a cup of coffee, heard a funny joke and smoked the last cig in my pack. Then I sat down and tried to figure what the heck happened yesterday. According to numerous sources, the Bears had $25 million dollars to spend on Free Agents this year. They blew past that amount like a Lamborghini past a Prius on the Autobahn. That snapping sound you heard was necks being cracked from turning too fast trying to keep up with what happened at Halas Hall yesterday. In one fell swoop the Bears went from laughingstocks to prime stock.

At least that’s what they are saying.

And, for the first time in a long time, fans believe them.

DAVID HAUGH at the Tribune came to his senses in time to meet his deadline so we can all follow along with what happened.

Ted Phillips, you’re a terrible liar.

But Bears fans will stand in line to forgive you after a day they never will forget.

They don’t want you to stop telling tall tales now either. Fib your way back into the playoffs if you can. Tell Bears Nation another whopper about being out of money after committing $121 million, including $55 million guaranteed, to three players Friday so you can’t afford a safety.

Then go out and pursue a safety your team still badly needs. A veteran offensive lineman might be available on the cheap too. And by all means keep shopping for wide receivers. You’re not done.

Admittedly that sounds like nitpicking after one of the most eye-popping offseason days in Bears history that saw defensive end Julius Peppers, running back Chester Taylor and tight end Brandon Manumaleuna sign long-term contracts at Halas Hall, football’s Fort Knox for a day.

That’s where the league’s most aggressive buyer surprisingly struck on the first day of free-agency. Just two weeks ago, Phillips answered a question about the impact of labor unrest by saying, “We’re not going to be one of those handful of teams sometimes that just goes hog wild in free agency.’’

I suppose Phillips defines hog wild as expenditures exceeding $121 million.

In or out of context, nobody who understands NFL supply and demand believed a word the Bears team president said anyway. Everybody knew the Bears had no choice Friday but to respond to the urgency of their situation the way a team in the league’s second-largest market should — regardless of Phillips’ empty rhetoric.

Surely Phillips never has enjoyed being caught in a white lie more than Friday.

The Bears continued to debunk the outdated myth that the franchise is cheap, adding to a payroll that ESPN ranked fifth in the NFL last year. They reached deep into the McCaskeys’ pockets and then kept digging.

By the way, when exactly did the Bears become the Redskins?

Virginia McCaskey must be on vacation, and if you are, Mrs. McCaskey, you may consider switching to a budget hotel. Your family business is spending like an heiress with daddy’s credit card.

But what wise investments they appear to be.

These signings are an admission that the status quo, long heralded as the only quo you needed to know, was no longer in vogue. This was an apology to fans. A, cash draped, confession that the team has wasted daft picks and trades for far too long to develop anything resembling a winner. At least in our lifetimes.

Did they overpay? Probably. But when you are desperate you don’t really have any leverage at the table.

The more important question is ‘are they better?’ So far, that answer would appear to be yes. Much to my surprise. Yours as well, I’d wager.

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When I was a little Big Bad, I wanted to be a marine biologist. I raised fish, learned about fish, could swim well (if not fast) and was comfortable in SCUBA gear. By the time I was 17 I knew that my family, what was left of it, could not afford college so I took the aptitude test for the Marines and passed. But, and this is one of those little things that change lives, the day before I was supposed to enlist I got an offer to be a bass player in a touring band. Since all I really wanted was to see the world and be near bikini clad women, the chance to do so without people shooting at me seemed perfect. I never became a Marine or a marine biologist. I did get to tour Moscow before the wall came down and do a lot of other stuff. All in all I can’t really bitch about my life, even if it isn’t even close to what I originally wanted.

I bring all this up not to make you wonder what homemade vodka tastes like in Russia (very good), but to point out that life is what you get and not always what you want or expect. It is up to you to make the best of it. It is also a great way for me to segue into 2 players from the Cubs and Sox who are a little surprised to be where they are and doing what they do. As CARRIE MUSKAT of MLB.com reports, Carlos Marmol figured he was on his way to the minors and long relief. She also reports that he was wrong.

Carlos Marmol was struggling in early July 2008. In three consecutive appearances from June 28-July 3, the Cubs’ prime setup man gave up five runs over two innings, and suffered a loss and a blown save.

He wasn’t feeling too good about himself when Cubs pitching coach Larry Rothschild pulled Marmol aside at Wrigley Field. Manager Lou Piniella wanted to see him.

“Larry told me, ‘Come into Lou’s office,’” Marmol said. “In my mind, I thought, ‘Oh, they’re going to send me down.’”

Just before Marmol and Rothschild walked into Piniella’s office, the pitcher stopped to ask if he was headed to Triple-A Iowa.

“Larry said, ‘No, are you crazy?’” Marmol said, smiling.

Instead, Piniella and Rothschild told Marmol he was headed to the All-Star Game, his first, as a late addition to the National League team.

“I’ll never forget that day,” Marmol said. “Then I had a good second half.”

He hasn’t looked back. The right-hander heads into the 2010 season as the Cubs’ closer. The last two springs, he’s had to compete for the job, losing in ‘08 to Kerry Wood and in ‘09 to Kevin Gregg. Now, it’s his. And the All-Star nomination was one step in his development.

“It helped me be more relaxed,” said Marmol, who is scheduled to pitch in his first spring game of the season Saturday. “Being in the All-Star Game, every player there is the best. It helped me a lot. I got more comfortable and more confidence.”

He’s been one of the top setup pitchers in the game, and his 161 relief appearances since 2008 are second-most in the Major Leagues. He is tied with Kyle Farnsworth for the all-time franchise mark with 73 holds.

“He had a lot going on last year, trying to decide on the [World Baseball Classic] and all that,” Rothschild said Wednesday of the pitcher who did pitch for the Dominican Republic. “He’s worked and he’s getting himself ready to go.”

Having the job he’s coveted has definitely helped Marmol’s mindset.

“It might [be the reason],” Rothschild said. “But he’s always competed well. He’s a guy who we’ve brought in for the better part of three years to face the best hitters in the eighth inning. He’s always competed. Maybe coming in here knowing it’s his job, getting himself ready and working on the things he needs to work on to make sure he has a good year, yeah, he might be [more comfortable].”

Rothschild remembers the day Marmol found out he was an All-Star. He was one of eight Cubs to be named that year.

“As well as he had pitched, he’s still a young pitcher and even young players aren’t sure of themselves and what’s going to happen and what could happen,” Rothschild said. “He went from Des Moines to the All-Star Game.”

And he did so in a couple of minutes.

So Marmol, despite his misgivings, is living his dream. While that may be true, it clearly was not realized via the path he envisioned. That’s okay too. Just because there are detours on the way doesn’t make your goal any less attainable.

Good grief, I am sounding like Dr. Phil on a bender.

Okay, let’s go to a guy who has no chance of playing where he wants and suddenly finds that that’s cool too. As SCOTT MERKIN, also of MLB.com, reports, Dayan Viciedo really wants to be a third baseman. I guess it is best for all concerned that he learned now that this just ain’t gonna happen.

At 5-foot-11, 240 pounds, Dayan Viciedo has the build of an NFL fullback but the soft hands of a middle infielder.

Anyone who has watched him make contact with a baseball knows Viciedo possesses the power of a classic home run hitter.

Now, the main questions to be answered concerning Viciedo are where will he play defensively and when will he arrive in Chicago? Viciedo has his ideas on the first topic, but they might differ from the White Sox.

“My position is third base,” Viciedo said through a translator. “But I’ll play wherever they tell me to play.”

Judging by his first two Spring Training starts, it looks as if Viciedo is jumping to first base. And if that move is not yet completely official, Viciedo certainly appears to be gradually making his move across the diamond.

Viciedo started Tuesday’s “B” game against the Dodgers at first base, and with Paul Konerko getting the day off for Thursday’s Cactus League opener at Tempe Diablo Stadium, there was Viciedo adeptly picking low throws at first base against the Angels. The change in position seems to make sense for Viciedo, with Mark Teahen locked up for the next three years as the White Sox third baseman, and Konerko playing in the final year of a five-year, $60 million deal.

As Viciedo indicated, the position isn’t as important to him as simply having the chance to play regularly. He came to the White Sox carrying a great deal of hype after defecting from Cuba. There was even talk during the negotiating process how Viciedo could contribute at the Major League level in his first big league season.

Instead, the 2009 season was spent by Viciedo entirely with Double-A Birmingham. His effort received high marks, as he hit .280 with 12 home runs, 20 doubles and 78 RBIs for one of the best overall Minor League teams. His 504 at-bats were 181 more than the previous high point of his Cuban career, and he had 327 more at-bats than the last time he suited up for Villa Clara of Cuba in 2007.

Needless to say, it was a yearlong learning experience for Viciedo, who feels wiser and soon to be older when he turns 21 on Wednesday.

“It’s the first time I played in a league with so many games, and I also adjusted to the system of baseball here,” Viciedo said. “This year, I feel better. I feel prepared. I feel a lot more confident.

“They taught me a lot last year. My footwork at third base ... Really, I learned about everything. I learned about every aspect of the game.”

The White Sox signing of Viciedo cost them $10 million over four years. It’s not exactly the sort of deal you expect for a Minor Leaguer, which was Viciedo’s 2009 job description, even a first-round Draft pick.

Add those contractual expectations to Viciedo’s year, not to mention the Spanish-English language barrier, and it’s easy to see how the pressure could have quickly built up for the relatively untested rookie.

“Yes, without a doubt. Yes. You feel a lot of pressure,” Viciedo said with a smile. “I’m a 20-year-old, signing that contract, making a lot of money. Thank God I had my family here to support me.”

“I’ve always said it is easier being a seventh-rounder than a first-rounder,” said Jordan Danks, a Viciedo teammate at Birmingham, referring to the extra pressure immediately heaped upon Viciedo’s broad shoulders. “They care about you as a seventh-rounder, but you’re not their main focus. They’ve invested all this money into a first-rounder, and expect you to perform.”

So Dayan may be our next PK. While I am a major fan of Paulie, and not just because he had the good fortune to buy me a beer once, I am smart enough to see that this transplanted 3rd baseman could be the Sox sweet hitting first baseman for the next 15 years. As Jordan Danks so elegantly surmised, they didn’t pay this kid all that money to sit on the bench. He will be somewhere sooner rather than later and it may as well be here.

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Screw Baseball Prospectus. Screw Sabermatics. Screw ESPN’s pre-season rankings. Screw that crazy guy in the bar who says my team will suck this year. Spring Training is all about hope, not dire mutterings. This is the time of year for Royals’ fans to talk openly about winning the division. This is when the Padres look at all the young talent they brought in and say, “mmmm, maaaay-beeee.” This is the time of year where fans can be lulled into thinking that Billy Beane knows what he is doing. This is the time for Nationals’ fans to think that they have turned the corner. In fact, Nationals’ fans are already bragging about how Ivan “Pudge” Rodriguez chose them (for slightly less money) over the Cubs. Change has finally, and truly, come to Washington D.C.

It is no different for Cubs and Sox fans. While none of the players are being asked to breathe through their eyeballs, it does seem that fans are breathing a little easier as reports filter out of both camps. On the North Side, a certain Alfonso Soriano looks determined to make everyone (including himself) forget last year. On the South Side, highly touted Alex Rios seems to have found his stroke and his head. Two items he clearly misplaced at the end of last season.

DAVID HAUGH at the Tribune spent some quality time at Ho Ho Kam to help catch us up to date on the Soriano saga.

One after another Wednesday at HoHoKam Park, the line drives exploded off the bat of Alfonso Soriano during Cubs batting practice.

Behind the cage hitting coach Rudy Jaramillo didn’t see a single one land, his eyes focused intently on Soriano’s hips and his words aimed specifically for his ears.

“Espidad, espidad!’’ Jaramillo repeated.

Asked later for a translation, Jaramillo explained the command reminds the free-swinging Soriano to slow down his breathing, which slows down his mind and thus his approach to the ball.

Jaramillo doesn’t necessarily have to speak the same language to connect with a hitter he mentored for two seasons with the Rangers. But, in Soriano’s case, it improves his hearing as well as his hitting.

“Sure it helps,” Jaramillo said. “I love teaching in Spanish.’’

Coming off a 2009 season marked by injury and insult, Soriano reported to spring training more eager than ever to learn.

This was no ordinary offseason for Soriano, the Cubs’ most polarizing player now that Kevin Gregg has cleared customs.

Never having rehabilitated from arthroscopic surgery, the fear of the unknown drove Soriano to work out longer and harder at the Cubs facilities in the Dominican Republic to recover from the Sept. 5 procedure on his left knee. Of course, coming off a career-worst .241 batting average with 20 home runs and 55 RBIs in 117 games, including 118 strikeouts in 447 at-bats, served as a pretty good prod too.

Whatever caused Soriano’s recommitment to conditioning, he arrived two weeks ago looking more like an NFL cornerback than an aging outfielder.

“I am 34 years old but more importantly my body and my mind feels young,’’ Soriano said.

Indeed, Soriano’s willingness to accept Jaramillo’s ways reflects a younger player with something to prove more than a seven-time All-Star. Already Jaramillo has narrowed Soriano’s stance to improve his balance and adjusted how high Soriano raises his left leg as the ball nears home plate. The average observer may not notice a thing different about Soriano’s swing but then Jaramillo has made a career of seeing the trees where everyone else sees a forest.

“The bat speed is still there,’’ Jaramillo said. “It’s all timing. He just has to gather himself and learn how to coach himself and realize right from wrong in his swing. He’s trying to get back what he had in the past.’’

Actually, since we can rule out stolen bases or Gold Glove fielding, it is fair for fans to hope that his batting is better than it has ever been before. If his average ticks up by 5 or 10 points above his career, he will be a nightmare for pitchers in the bottom half of the order. And I can assure you that that is one nightmare Lou will gladly have.

I just had a vision of Lou singing a duet with Alice Cooper for a Cubbie promotion. Hopefully that will fade after I down my breakfast beer.

On the South Side, Sox fans and team mates were trying to figure out what the heck went wrong with Alex Rios. It was almost as if he forgot how to play baseball. ‘Deer in the headlights’ described his good days. Yet, this January, he showed up at Greg Walker’s house, went to a park and started swinging. 5 swings later everyone agreed that, whatever had happened in the past, it was all better now. JOE COWLEY at the Sun Times digs a little deeper for the reasons behind the slump and the re-emergence.

On Wednesday morning, Alex Rios was grouped around five Latino teammates, holding court with the Spanish-speaking coalition.

Tuesday, it was time spent with ‘’the animal slayers,’’ as A.J. Pierzynski, Scott Linebrink and Mark Buehrle talked big-game hunting in Africa.

The day before that, Rios was hanging out on ‘’Rodeo Drive’’—a row of lockers so labeled by Matt Thornton because of their big-contract residents.

More often than not, a major-league clubhouse resembles a prison yard, segregated by color, language or culture.

The one person who has played warden, walking the yard and interacting with almost every group this spring, has been the seemingly laid-back Rios, who mostly was a loner last season.

‘’It feels more natural now than it did last year because when I came over it was just in the middle of the season or later in the season,’’ Rios said. ‘’I didn’t really know anybody, and that’s a weird feeling. It almost was lonely. Now, I feel like I’m just in a regular spring training. It feels like home.’’

That’s fine, but the Sox and their fans would rather it feel like home after Rios hits .280 with 20 home runs and 25 stolen bases and the team holds a champagne celebration in October. Then he can kick up his legs on the table and call it home.

For now, this will have to do.

‘’Changing teams in midseason, I would have to imagine, is not the easiest thing in the world,’’ Paul Konerko said. ‘’It just throws off on-the-field stuff, it throws off your personal life, just a lot of things that go on. It can’t be easy at all.

‘’And when he got traded here, it’s not like he was coming to a team that was running away with the division and you’re just added on to that. We were chasing, and so the feeling can be, ‘OK, we brought someone in, and he’s the answer for us to figure this thing out.’ That probably was put on him unfairly.’’

I can relate to that. Long ago I changed bands mid tour. The old bass player got healthy and I suddenly needed a new gig. I must have spent two weeks wandering around trying to learn songs on the fly, figure out who was who and not trip over my damn amp. Every day seemed like some weird alien adventure, and not in the fun way where you get the cool chick with the green skin who does things no man can pronounce. More like I was the appetizer in an episode of “V”. But, eventually, I got past it and ended up pulling the whole tour and seeing fun new parts of the world. It appears that Alex has made a similar accomplishment. So, good luck to him.

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A kind overflow of kindness: there are no faces
truer than those that are so washed. How much
better is it to weep at joy than to joy at weeping!
Leonato - Much Ado About Nothing

Yesterday, at Ho Ho Kam, Cubs’ new center fielder Marlon Byrd walked up to Carlos Marmol and Jeff Diamond and informed them that they were tipping their pitches. Not to be outdone, Diamond noted that several batters were giving away the pitch they were looking for with their stance. That may be the most useful information to come out of any spring training camp this season. Caught now, it can be worked on and corrected. Caught in June, which has been the norm in MLB, it is too little too late.

But, overall, it is the stuff that is not happening that is the most interesting. On the Northside, as GORDON WITTENMYER of the Sun Times reports, there are no curses. Or, maybe more importantly, they have a guy who broke one of the biggest ones there was.

He’s no Greek Orthodox priest. But a 38-year-old non-roster bench candidate who hit .223 last year might hold the key to breaking that whole curse thing on the North Side.

That is, if he makes the team.

What’s certain is that Kevin Millar has done what nobody in the Cubs’ clubhouse has done—end a curse—and he’s willing to share the formula his self-proclaimed ‘’bunch of idiots’’ in Boston used six years ago to bring down the Curse of the Bambino.

‘’Being in a place like Boston, I went through a lot of the same things,’’ he said. ‘’There was a huge curse there, 86 years. It was almost like every year was ‘The Year.’’’

Of course, he’s dealing with 15 more years of inertia with this one. And a drought that doesn’t include so much as a World Series heartbreak in the last 64 years—even the Red Sox had four World Series appearances over the same span before breaking their curse.

‘’You get a group of guys believing, and you get a group of guys that don’t worry about a lot of stuff but winning games,’’ Millar said. ‘’We’ll see what happens.’’

That’s as big a part of the formula as anything. But it also includes about six parts swagger, two parts big-stage experience, three parts slowing down the heart rate and one part ignoring the press clippings—along with just a dash of timing and an occasional shot of whiskey.

‘’Jack Daniels brings your heart rate down,’’ Millar said.

When it all comes together, it makes and breaks history.

While our own bleeder of the Cubbie Blue, Tyrone Briggs, may be a teetotaler, I would bet he would camp by the clubhouse with a case of Jack if that is what it takes to win a World Series for the Cubs. Hell, he might even pop for chips and dip too.

On the South Side, everyone is pleased by the trade that is not happening. Quick synopsis for those who missed it; Jake Peavy got asked a question by Kenny Williams and he answered it honestly. Somehow that lead to rumors of Beckham being traded to the Padres with a zillion other guys. As DAVID HAUGH at the Tribune notes, it ain’t gonna happen.

Without question the most fascinating sight Tuesday at Camelback Ranch came on a practice field far away from the White Sox-Dodgers “B” game intended to break up the monotony.

On that field Jake Peavy stood chatting with his catcher like so many other meetings on the mound. But this catcher, in full gear complete with shin guards and a chest protector, was Mark Buehrle.

One young boy with binoculars thought he had a scoop. “Dad, I think Buehrle’s catching Peavy over there!’’ he said excitedly.

Now that would be a big story. But the Sox aces merely were being good company men and following a script for an upcoming Sox commercial.

It was a good reminder that things aren’t always what they seem in Sox camp.

Take the artificial buzz created over the rumors the Sox will dangle Gordon Beckham in a trade package for Padres first baseman Adrian Gonzalez, so far the only thing besides manager Ozzie Guillen’s tweets to make anybody atwitter at spring training.

The speculation mentioned more Sox names going to the Padres besides Beckham, but that’s when I stopped listening. Beckham is the most untouchable Sox player since Frank Thomas in his prime.

The Sox drafted Beckham, developed him and now he has a chance to spend a decade on the South Side doing what Ryne Sandberg did on the North. Even to consider trading Beckham at 23 would risk protests in the streets of Bridgeport. General manager Ken Williams is bold and understandably covets a left-handed slugger such as Gonzalez. But he’s not stupid.

“That’s all a TV thing,” Guillen said. “I don’t see why people are still talking about it.”

That’s easier to understand. Outside of Daniel Hudson’s dominant showing against a bunch of Dodger minor-leaguers and Williams’ son, Kyle, running a 4.36 40-yard dash at the NFL scouting combine, there hasn’t been much Sox-related stuff yet worth talking about here.

Rather innocently, Peavy started it all by telling CBSSports.com that when Williams asked for a reference on Gonzalez over the winter, he gave a glowing recommendation. That gave the story sprinter’s legs.

So Peavy spoke highly of a friend. Big deal. He didn’t go to Williams suggesting the Sox make a trade for Gonzalez to replace first baseman Paul Konerko. Nobody’s feelings should be hurt or slighted because Peavy answered Williams’ question.

In other words, the Sox (of all teams) fell victim to not being controversial enough. Nature abhors a vacuum and media needs a rumor. Those are two constants you can take where ever you go.

Oh well, no harm no foul. The Sox continue to do exciting things such as run bunting drills and duck when Daniel Cabrera pitches. Yesterday, in a 27 pitch outing, he gave up 4 runs and only threw 11 strikes. There is something about knowing that a pitch is coming at around 100 mph and not knowing where it is going to end up that makes hitters a little nervous. Suffice it to say that the Dodgers who faced Cabrera yesterday wouldn’t have minded a few shots of Jack themselves after that.

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The Bulls are, once again, unable to run 5 on 5 drills because they do not have enough healthy players. This is not good news as they are headed into the snot knocker portion of their schedule. The Hawks are worried that their kids might be fatigued after an Olympic tournament that saw the U.S. team go far deeper into the medal rounds than predicted and the Canadian team suffer through more drama than predicted. For the record, the U.S. were predicted to be knocked out in the first round and the Canadians were supposed to run away with this thing. The Fire are worried about all those new players coming in under a new coach. They need those guys to gel and gel quickly if they are going to get where they want to go. Keep in mind that they missed the championship round by one goal and fired their coach. This team is not about losing. The Sky are worried about rebounding after a dreadful season that saw them poised to go deep into the playoffs and instead they imploded at the end of the year and missed the whole party. The Red Stars are worried about competing at the pro level. In this, their second, season they feel that they have a lot to prove and that they have the players to prove it. The Bears aren’t worried at all, everything is sunshine and roses at Halas Hall, which is why Bears’ fans are slamming Prozac. And washing it down with bourbon.

And the Cubs and Sox? What are they worried about? A lot or a little, depending on your point of view. If you are a devotee of Baseball Prospectus, then both teams’ seasons are over before they begin with neither team even being given a 30% chance of making the playoffs. Of course, last year, BP had the Cubs winning almost 100 games and the Sox 10 games under .500. So much for the experts then.

From the teams’ points of view, they are limiting their worries to one position at a time. For the Cubs, it seems that they may not have to worry about the one position that has vexed them for years. Center field. GORDON WITTENMYER at the Sun Times takes some time out of his break-dancing lessons to fill us in.

Anyone who wonders how much agility stocky Cubs center fielder Marlon Byrd has should have seen him after practice Monday, when he pulled off a break-dance spin move and leaped to his feet in one motion.

Wait till he adds a fly ball to the act.

‘’The reason people say I can’t play defense is because they haven’t watched me play and they see my size,’’ the 6-foot, 245-pound Byrd said.

But Cubs hitting coach Rudy Jaramillo, who had Byrd for three years with the Texas Rangers, believes Byrd was one of the top three defensive center fielders in the American League last season.

‘’Ask [Los Angeles Angels manager] Mike Scioscia, ask [Seattle Mariners manager Don] Wakamatsu, ask [Oakland Athletics manager Bob] Geren, ask [Rangers manager Ron Washington] if I can play center field,’’ Byrd said. ‘’Ask those guys that watched me play 19 times a year, or 162 times, and they’ll let you know.’’

Regardless of whether Byrd inspires visions of Gold Gloves, two things seem certain:

First, his addition improves the outfield—potentially dramatically—considering that Cubs center fielders ranked among the worst in the majors last season, according to various defensive formulas, and that Kosuke Fukudome will play his more natural position in right.

Second, Byrd’s style of play suggests he might be one of the more exciting Cubs center fielders in recent memory.

And not just because he plans to bring his break-dance moves to Wrigley Field.

More important, he’s moving from the American League West, which is full of large outfields, to the National League Central, which generally has smaller outfields, including Wrigley.

‘’Which means I get to play shallow,’’ he said, ‘’which is my forte.’’

I have never got why people say Byrd is a lousy fielder. He is around a .990 average as a fielder over his career and has had 2 errorless seasons. Cubs’ fans, despite what I read on their message boards, should be thrilled with this guy. He is a good bat, a great guy and a solid team player. Plus he can catch the ball. I am not sure what more you want out of that position.

On the South Side, they seem to be worried about John Danks not being at the same level as CC Sabathia. Well, I guess everyone needs something to worry about. JOE COWLEY, also at the Sun Times, dials up the 411.

It’s the one topic that gets pitching coach Don Cooper to go from chewing his gum to attacking it.

‘’Performance and consistency over years dictate for people in the media, people in fantasy leagues, fans, what number a pitcher is,’’ Cooper said Monday. ‘’Is this guy a No. 1? Is he a No. 3?’ I don’t put numbers on guys. I don’t. Doesn’t interest me; it’s not important to me.’’

The measuring stick for Cooper?

‘’I word it like upper-echelon pitchers,’’ Cooper said. ‘’What do upper-echelon pitchers do? What’s the common denominator? Innings, wins, hits to innings, walks to innings, going to the post every five days, going seven or eight innings deep every time.’’

That leaves left-hander John Danks on the outside looking in.

But, frankly, at 24, that’s a good thing.

‘’There’s plenty of room for me to improve. ... I surely hope there’s room for me to improve,’’ Danks said. ‘’I know I’m going to go out there and do what I can to improve.

‘’Who knows? But deep down, I think there’s plenty of room for improvement, and there will be improvement.’’

That’s what the White Sox are counting on. They like that Danks understands what it takes to be in the same conversation as a CC Sabathia or a Josh Beckett. Heck, for one night on Sept. 30, 2008, he even held upper echelon in his hand, throwing eight scoreless innings in the ‘’Blackout’’ play-in game against the Minnesota Twins.

As Danks enters his fourth season with the Sox, the hope is that taste will keep him hungry.

‘’He’s still trying to achieve that,’’ Cooper said. ‘’But this is only three years for [Danks]. I mean, to label a guy upper echelon ... unless you’re a special guy like a [Tim] Lincecum, I think that’s an earned thing over time. [Danks is] still in the process of earning that status.’’

Well, 2010 might be as good a year as any to make that jump.

Danks is one of those guys who seems to shine in big games and do okay the rest of the time. If he can get it in his head that they are all big games he could be a force to be reckoned with. Even so, I’d rather have him on my team than not.

There is one thing I do not have to worry about. I cancelled my Baseball Prospectus subscription years ago.

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Well, first and foremost, congratulations to the U.S. Olympic team for winning more shiny round things than any other country. That accomplishment will be celebrated for about another hour and then the world will move on. While I am a little bummed that the U.S. Hockey team only got the Silver Medal, I am not suicidal over it. Let’s face it, the Winter Olympics features a lot of sports that no one in America plays in the winter. We are not a nation of curlers. We tend to shun ice dancers and keep them away from our children. The Biathlon? We tend to frown on commandos skiing through our streets with loaded rifles. The Winter Olympics are eye candy right when the landscape is at its most blah. That’s all well and good, but please don’t tell me that they are important.

What is important is the fact that an almost blind quarterback learned the Mike Martz system and had success with it. You think I’m kidding, don’t you? Well, NEIL HAYES at the Sun Times is here to prove that I am not.

It wasn’t until their final game together that Mike Martz learned his quarterback couldn’t see.

It came as a shock. Martz had helped Steve Fairchild set national junior-college passing records despite him being slow of foot and weak of arm, only to discover that he also suffered from night blindness. Fairchild could not detect color beyond 20 yards and only saw smudges where his receivers were supposed to be.

That was 1975. The Bears’ new offensive coordinator was fresh out of graduate school and testing theories at San Diego Mesa Community College that would help him become arguably the greatest offensive mind of his generation. That Fairchild had been so successful despite his handicap helped convince Martz he was doing something right.

Martz claims he has learned something from every quarterback he has worked with. He will begin teaching Jay Cutler the lessons he learned from his first quarterback more than 35 years ago during a minicamp tentatively scheduled for May.

‘’That helped reinforce things where you feel a defender and time the windows vs. zones and the ability to anticipate where the guy is in man-to-man coverage and lead him properly,’’ Martz said Sunday at the NFL Scouting Combine.

‘’That was a reassurance that we were on the right page when we were telling these guys what to do.’’

Many of the college quarterbacks whom Martz was scouting Sunday wait for receivers to be open before throwing the ball. Martz’s system hinges on the quarterback releasing the ball before the receiver is open. It’s a leap of faith that can take some getting used to. When an offense is built around anticipation and throwing to a spot on the field rather than to a receiver, a quarterback doesn’t need to be able to read the bottom line on an eye chart, as Fairchild learned.

‘’I didn’t have good vision at night, but I had good anticipation with the ball, and that’s what Mike is all about,’’ said Fairchild, who was Martz’s offensive coordinator with the St. Louis Rams and now is the head coach at Colorado State.

‘’I was a kid who did not get recruited out of high school. I wasn’t sure I was going to play football anymore. I started with him and completed a bunch of balls and thought I could complete everything. He had receivers to a spot at a perfect time coordinated with my drop, and he had a feel for this timing thing—and he still does.’’

Cutler has got to be better than a guy with night blindness. Doesn’t he? DOESN’T HE?!?!?!

Neither patience nor trust seemed to be Cutler’s strong suits last season. That means Martz is going to have to get this kid’s head straightened out before he does anything else. I don’t know if he will use those cool Star Wars (TM) helmets that Luke Skywalker trained with to learn the Force, but he is going to have to come up with something to get this kid to believe in the system.

I was not thrilled with the hiring of Martz for one simple reason; his offense is so different than what they had and the Bears don’t really have the players to make it work. Okay, I guess that is actually one and a half reasons. Lovie Smith insists that this is the year that Devin Hester will learn how to think. I think I have a better chance of becoming a professional jockey. Smith insists that he has all the tools he needs to win with this offense. I insist that he has a bunch of tools. None suited for the job ahead.

I don’t mean to rip on the players, but after watching fundamental mistake after fundamental mistake last year it is hard for me to buy into a program that requires the players to display keen intelligence and skill. If some of these guys couldn’t recite the alphabet without cue cards last year, there is no reason to believe that they will be reciting Chaucer in 2010.

Don’t get me wrong, I would love to be proven wrong here and watch the Bears rip through a winning season and have success in the playoffs. I just think there is a better chance of me gracing the cover of GQ before that happens.

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Like 40 or 50 billion other people, I saw Avatar. Unlike most of them, I noticed a flaw in the film that has been driving me nuts. I asked a couple of film critics about it and became afraid that I was going to be the subject of a restraining order or two. So, I will ask the wonderful readers at Jay The Joke if they can explain it to me. If you have seen the movie you will note that all the animals on Pandora are sextopeds. In other words, 6 legged creatures. But all the Na’Vi, the 10 foot tall blue nature lovers, are bipeds. In other words, descended from quadrupeds. To put a long rant short, there is no way they could have evolved on Pandora. So, where the heck did they come from?

Okay, I’ve got that off my chest so I’ll move on.

Last night, during Chicago’s official “Buy B3 a Beer Day”, ELLIOTT HARRIS from the Sun Times came out to catch the action. And, bonus for me, buy me a beer. During the course of the evening we talked about a wonderful variety of subjects. We also got to sample free soups. Now that you know that you should know this; nothing I have written thus far has anything to do with the point of today’s blog.

In fact, for a while I wasn’t sure what the point would be at all. But, after slogging through a wide variety of articles (the Bears are doomed, MJ bought the Bobcats, the Bulls are better than expected, the Hawks are just insanely good, etc.) I finally decided to talk about the best of the new and the best of the old.

For the former, I will turn to CARRIE MUSKAT from MLB.com who takes a look at the Cubs’ luckiest find in a long time, Esmailin Caridad.

Esmailin Caridad was in the right place, right time for the Cubs, and may be the right-handed setup pitcher the team needs.

Caridad signed his first pro contract with a Japanese team when he was 16 years old. He didn’t get a call up to the Japan big leagues until 2007 when he pitched very briefly for the Hiroshima Carp, appearing in two games.

“I liked Japan,” Caridad said Friday. “I like it here better.”

A free agent after that season, he was pitching back home in the Dominican Republic when Cubs player development director Oneri Fleita saw him. Cubs general manager Jim Hendry just happened to be coming to the Dominican for a few days and Fleita, who had gotten a tip about the youngster from a friend of long-time scout Jose Serra, asked Caridad if he would throw for him.

“Jim watched him throw a couple innings and said, ‘Why haven’t we signed him already?’” Fleita said.

On Dec. 19, 2007, Caridad signed with the Cubs and was invited to the Cubs’ spring camp.

“Everything in life is about timing and in Esmailin Caridad’s case and the Chicago Cubs’ case, the timing couldn’t have been any better,” Fleita said.

Now, Caridad is 26 and appears to have a spot in the Cubs bullpen.

“He’s on the team,” Lou Piniella said Thursday. “He’s almost got to pitch himself off it. I don’t think he will. I like this young man. He competes, he’s got a good arm, he can pitch a lot. He handled himself here quite well the last two months of the season.”

In 2008, Caridad was with Class A Daytona, then moved up to Double-A Tennessee. Last year, he made 25 starts for Triple-A Iowa and went 5-10 with a 4.17 ERA, striking out 114 over 131 2/3 innings.

Late last season, Caridad was called up to the big leagues and appeared in 14 games. He compiled an impressive 1.40 ERA over 19 1/3 innings. Could he be the right-handed setup pitcher the Cubs need?

“He’s got the stuff for it,” Piniella said. “Does he have the experience, savvy? We’ll have to wait and see. He does have the stuff. One good thing about this young man is he’s not scared.”

Caridad saw Piniella’s comments.

“I’m ready for the season,” the pitcher said Friday. “When I started this spring, I put my energy and concentration into the game.”

At 26, Caridad is older than most of the other bullpen candidates.

“He’s got a young arm,” said Mike Mason, who was the Iowa pitching coach. “He makes a lot of youthful mistakes. He overthrows. Last year, when he came up to the big leagues, it was kind of his niche—short doses of high energy pitching.”

Which would seem to be the description of a setup pitcher.

“If it was up to me, he’s one of those guys who will be a seventh- or eighth-inning guy who’s going to come in and try to blow balls by batters,” Mason said. “We’ve been working on his breaking ball, which is improving, and if he ever gets that, you never know what he’s going to be.”

Anyone who watched Caridad at Iowa might wonder where the oomph in his fastball came from. The right-hander’s fastball averaged in the upper 80s at Iowa. But last season, the radar gun also flashed 95, 96 mph.

“It’s confidence,” Mason said. “When he first signed, he was a little bit apprehensive about how he went after it. He wanted to make sure he threw strikes first. Now, he’s pretty much got that down and he’s throwing strikes and now he’s just letting it go and he’s able to maintain his strike zone command and letting it go, and that’s why the 95, 96 is coming out. It’s trust. He’s trusting his stuff a little more.”

I wonder if the “find some guy on vacation from Japan, by accident, in the Dominican Republic” is actually a corporate philosophy?  Either way, it worked for them and it worked for him. As a side note, maybe they can snag some Kim Chi in Seoul and get themselves a speedy lead off hitter.

Just a thought.

On a sadder note, Sox legendary slugger Jermaine Dye is being forced to consider a career in the dynamic fast food industry. JOE COWLEY at the Sun Times tries to figure out how that happened.

Standing around as a spectator at the Phoenix Open was not how Jermaine Dye was supposed to be spending his Thursday afternoon.

He was supposed to be somewhere with a wooden bat in his hand. He was supposed to be somewhere joking with teammates, getting ready for the monotony of spring camp. Shagging fly balls, one more sprint. Somewhere, anywhere.

Instead, he’s waiting.

‘’I’m shocked,’’ Dye told the Sun-Times. ‘’I really am in disbelief, but what can I do?’’

Nothing.

And that’s the hardest part for the free agent to accept.

Over the last five seasons with the White Sox, Dye was first among American League outfielders in home runs and second in RBI. He has a World Series ring from 2005 and an MVP trophy from that Fall Classic. Then there was an All-Star appearance in 2006, and Dye even was a .302 hitter with 20 home runs in the first half of 2009.

Now, having just turned 36, Dye is being told by Major League Baseball that his services are no longer needed—or at least not enough to where Dye feels it’s ‘’really worth it.’’

So he waits.

‘’I still feel like I’m a productive player and feel like I can contribute, but teams want me as a backup player, and that’s something I’m not ready to do,’’ Dye said. ‘’I feel undervalued, basically. I don’t think I have to go out there and prove anything to anyone. My numbers the last five or six years show I can help someone.’’

There have been calls. Heck, there have been offers. But many of them have felt like slaps more than a serious negotiation.

‘’There’s nothing close,’’ Dye said. ‘’Still a few teams calling, couple teams made offers, but nothing really worth it. Anaheim made an offer, but they could only offer me 200-250 at-bats. Toronto made an offer; they wanted me to play right field every day, but the money was ridiculous.’’

Then there were the Cubs, who offered Dye $3 million to be their fourth outfielder. That meant sitting behind Kosuke Fukudome, who in two years was hitting .258 with 21 homers. Dye said no thanks, and a few days later the Cubs gave $3.3 million to 31-year-old Xavier Nady, fresh off a seven-game ‘09 season that ended with a second Tommy John surgery.

‘’I want to play every day,’’ Dye said. ‘’Cleveland was interested but never made an offer. Tampa was supposed to call, and we’re still trying to work that out. There have been offers, but like I said, nothing worth it.’’

How did it reach this point?

That’s what Dye has been trying to figure out. Yes, he had a terrible second half in which he hit .179 with just seven homers. Yes, his defense has slowed, but he’s willing to split time among the outfield, first base and even designed hitter if need be.

The problem for Dye, as with other older free agents this year, is that they are in a very tough spot. Teams are no longer willing to pay top dollar for a part time player, no matter how marquee the name may be. He may feel that he is worth several mil and should be on the field every day, but the reality is that he has older knees, limited range and is becoming a one dimensional player. That holds true with a lot of older players. Omar Vizquel being the exception that proves the rule.

On the other hand, if Dye wants, Elliot and I can show him a place that needs another soup maker.

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I had to take a couple of days off for personal reasons. No big deal, just life interrupting e-life kind of thing. I have to admit that I was pleasantly surprised about how many people who wrote wanting to know if I was dead or, maybe, selling the site. Quick note to cyber-land, dead people generally do not respond to emails. As to selling the site, that isn’t happening either unless someone brings me a giant bucket of money, all large untraceable bills. And I am talking about a very large bucket.

Anyway, while I was off, Canada embarrassed themselves again in hockey. Well, in men’s hockey anway. Their women’s team won the gold. They were also seen slamming champagne and smoking cigars after the victory. I don’t mean to be rude, but the Canadian women’s team plays a tougher brand of hockey than does their men’s. Oh, okay, I meant to be a little rude.  Anyway, since NBC has seen fit to broadcast hockey at 3 AM, Icelandic time, with rebroadcasts exclusively in Taiwan, no one is seeing just how good the American men’s team is. Or any other team for that matter. The number 1 sport in the host country with a growing fan base in one of the largest countries in the world and it is replaced by men in sequins pirouetting on pretty skates. One of whom bragged about his Broadway show tunes posters. If I were as sensitive as he, I would cry.

So, let’s take a look, instead, at a sport where crotch grabbing and spitting rank on statistical charts. Yes, I am talking about baseball.

On the North Side, just 3 days after the White Sox announced that Mark Buehrle will be their opening day starter, Carlos Zambrano announced that he will be the Cubs’ opening day starter. No, he didn’t ask Lou for his opinion. CARRIE MUSKAT at MLB.com has the full story.

Carlos Zambrano will likely be the Cubs’ Opening Day starter for the sixth straight year.

“We haven’t even gone there yet,” manager Lou Piniella said Thursday when asked if he’d named his starter for the April 5 season opener in Atlanta.

“I’ve been here three years and Zambrano has been the Opening Day starter every year,” Piniella said. “I don’t anticipate any difference there.”

Last year, Zambrano won the Cubs’ season opener against Houston, giving up one run on five hits over six innings. It was his fifth straight Opening Day start but first win.

The Cubs are sorting through the arms in camp to determine their bullpen and one candidate, Angel Guzman, had another setback. Guzman was shut down Thursday because of some discomfort in his right shoulder. He underwent arthroscopic knee surgery in January and already was a couple weeks behind the others. However, he still could be ready by Opening Day.

“We just felt that coming off the ‘scope and because he’s had difficulties on and off in the past, that we’ll take the precautionary route and push him back a couple days,” Cubs general manager Jim Hendry said.

Pitcher Ted Lilly remained at home for the fourth straight day because of a high fever. The hope is that Lilly, who had arthroscopic surgery on his left shoulder in early November, can come to Fitch Park on Friday to play catch.

One pitcher who appears to have secured a spot in the Cubs’ bullpen is Esmailin Caridad.

“He’s on the team,” Piniella said. “He’s almost got to pitch himself off it. I don’t think he will. I like this young man. He competes, he’s got a good arm, he can pitch a lot. He handled himself here quite well the last two months of the season.”

Caridad appeared in 14 games with the Cubs late last season and gave up three earned runs over 19 1/3 innings for a 1.40 ERA. He’s not experienced—last year was his first at Triple-A. Could he be the right-handed setup pitcher the Cubs need?

“He’s got the stuff for it,” Piniella said. “Does he have the experience, savvy? We’ll have to wait and see. He does have the stuff. One good thing about this young man is he’s not scared.”

Jeff Samardzija had an early pitching session Thursday, getting his work done before the rest of the team had gone onto the field to stretch. The former Notre Dame wide receiver has impressed this spring.

Pitching coach Larry Rothschild told Piniella that the first couple years, Samardzija looked like a football player who was pitching. Rothschild said this year, the right-hander looks like a baseball player who played football.

“That’s a big transformation, and that’s a really profound statement as far as I’m concerned,” Piniella said. “It says he’s making the adjustments and really stepping forward and looking like a Major League pitcher.”

If the Cubs can get some of their young guys to step up to the big league level, that will take a lot of pressure off of the team. Yes, I know that Lilly’s reappearance will give the Cubs a formidable front four, but he won’t be back until sometime in May, at the earliest, and will probably need a few starts before he is back to form. They are still going to need a couple of bodies in there now and for later.

On the South side, still reeling after Tweet-gate , things are looking pretty bland. Which, for the White Sox may be the best news they have gotten this spring. Their biggest worry seems to be whether to use Omar Vizquel as an assistant coach or play him on a semi-regular basis. SCOTT MERKIN, also of MLB.com, notes that the latter is far more likely than the former.

It was a batting practice session just like any other in the early stages of Thursday’s White Sox workout at Camelback Ranch.

Out just behind shortstop, on the practice field featuring the same dimensions as U.S. Cellular Field, two figures of notice suddenly stood out, just talking. It was Omar Vizquel, making his first appearance in a full White Sox uniform, and Alexei Ramirez, the team’s starting shortstop for the second straight season.

Let the mentoring process begin.

“I know Alexei is a young guy playing shortstop, so if there’s anything where I can help, that would be good for me because it will keep me in the game,” Vizquel said. “There are so many things that happen in a season. I’m sure I can help him and everyone around the infield.”

Vizquel’s biography lists his age at 42, turning 43 on April 24. But one of the greatest defensive shortstops in Major League Baseball history clearly has defied the aging process. If not for thinning hair and the look of a 21-year veteran, Vizquel’s supreme physical conditioning would leave most people guessing he’s the same age as players 10 years his junior.

This commitment to staying in shape allowed Vizquel to come back for another season, agreeing to a one-year, $1.375 million deal with the White Sox. As much as Vizquel wanted to play for Ozzie Guillen and be part of the Venezuelan shortstop tradition on the South Side of Chicago, he admits the decision to continue was not always a clear-cut one.

He may not look 42, but Vizquel certainly does feel his age.

“Sometimes you feel it. I’m not going to lie to you,” Vizquel said. “Sometimes you wake up in the morning, and not every morning is the same. It’s hard to get up for a 1 o’clock game. But I think all that training and everything I’ve been doing is to get away from those bad habits, and it’s helped me out.

“At this point, you don’t really know until you go out on the field and prove it, show you can play. I don’t want to use the word ‘still,’ but you have to show you can still play.

“Last year, I was wondering if I could do it [with Texas],” Vizquel said. “But every time I stepped on the field I gave it my best, and I had some great results that make me think I can give it another chance this year to do the same things I did the year before and keep doing it.”

Before anyone thinks Vizquel might be naturally slowing down, take a look at his errorless run in 2009 for the Rangers. That total includes 27 games at shortstop, 20 at third base and 16 at second.

Don’t get completely caught up in this “coach on the field” description for Vizquel. Guillen is counting on him on the playing field almost as much as in the clubhouse and dugout.

“It’s amazing how good shape he is in,” said Guillen. “I saw him this morning—we’re almost the same age. I got more hair than he does, but he looks so great and he swung the bat real well. He moves like he’s still in his 20s.

“Omar is going to help us a lot playing three [positions] in the infield. I’ll try to give him as many at-bats as I can.”

63 error-less games in a row is a lot better than a bunch of guys half his age. Something tells me that the Sox got a better bargain here than they initially bargained for. And that is never a bad thing.

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The Cubs and Sox both need some more runs. The Cubs have decided that power is the answer and the Sox have decided that it is not. That interesting dichotomy will play out over the coming season. One or both may be right. Or as my buddy, a Mets’ fan, said, both will probably be wrong. It’s a lot of fun hanging out with him. Especially when the Mets do their usual imitation of a kamakazie team.

On the North Side they are looking for Alfonzo Soriano to return to form and become the force he used to be. PAUL SULLIVAN of the Tribune takes a look at that.

More than five months after undergoing arthroscopic surgery on his left knee, Alfonso Soriano said he’s almost good to go.

“It feels like about 80-85 percent,” Soriano said Monday. “I have five or six weeks here working now, and I’m hoping it feels much better and I’m ready for Opening Day.”

Soriano said he has been working this offseason in the Dominican Republic but has not tested the knee yet by running hard or playing any outfield. He doesn’t feel pain when taking batting practice and is not worried about being ready for the season.

Soriano was told by the coaching staff to take it easy at the outset of spring training, and the Cubs didn’t expect him to be at 100 percent at this point.

“He looks wonderful,” manager Lou Piniella said. “He’s strong. He’s ready to go, says his knee hasn’t bothered him.”

After hitting 12 home runs the first two months of last season, Soriano hit only eight the rest of the way in one of the worst seasons of his career, finishing with a .241 average and 55 RBIs. Baseball Prospectus projected Soriano’s “days as a premier player are long gone.”

Now it will be up to Soriano to prove his critics wrong.

“It’s tough to play this game, and when you have something on your mind, it’s tougher to play,” he said. “I’m not making excuses about me knee. It’s part of the game. … What happened with my knee, a couple years ago is what happened with my hamstring and my calf, and I kept playing with soreness in my body. I hope this year I’ll play more healthy.”

Soriano is in the fourth year of his eight-year, $136 million deal. He turned 34 in January and has had the nagging injuries the last three years. He insisted his bat speed is still there, and that the only problem he had last year was battling the knee injury.

The addition of hitting coach Rudy Jaramillo should help Soriano, who hit 34 home runs and drove in 104 runs under Jaramillo with the Rangers in 2005. Soriano also is looking forward to playing with center fielder Marlon Byrd, whom he teamed with in Washington.

Well, since the Cubs have him for 4 more seasons, then him playing at a higher level is almost mandatory. They will need more than him, of course, but he is an integral part of the Cubs’ offense. If, as he seems to believe, he is over the injuries and returns to form, then the Cubs will be a dangerous team to face. That assumes that they fill those 4 and 5 holes on the pitching staff with something other than pine tar.

On the South Side the Sox are implementing their new plan over the objections of General Manager Kenny Williams. I do find it amusing that they are going to be a more traditional National League team just as the American League is settling into a rein of dominance. It is so nutty it just might work. CHRIS DE LUCA at the Sun Times took a few minutes out of his busy day to speak with Ozzie Guillen about the changes.

‘’We can create more runs,’’ Guillen said. ‘’In the past, yeah, we could score 10, but all of a sudden, when we need to score one, we can’t. That’s why our philosophy changed.

‘’We have a bunch of guys in the lineup who can hit 20-plus home runs. I would rather have 10 guys hit 20 home runs than have one guy hit 50. How many times did we have men on second base and we couldn’t score a run when we needed it? If everybody contributes—not have a super year, but have the year they are supposed to have—then this ballclub should be fine offensively.’’

No doubt, Guillen believes that. But Williams seems to prefer a big bopper in the middle of the lineup.

That’s why there was such a battle of wills between the manager and GM over whether to re-sign Thome, a free agent who later went to the Twins. It was the first clear sign of tension at the top since Guillen and Williams formed a partnership—with the blessing of chairman Jerry Reinsdorf—before the ‘04 season.

‘’Kenny always worries about the ballclub,’’ Guillen said. ‘’That’s his job, I guess. He’s never satisfied. I told Kenny two months ago that I’m satisfied. I’m not worried about this ballclub. Maybe people are going to look at it a different way, but I don’t see it that way. The power is there. The astronomic power is not.’’

It’s a gamble for a team that has relied on those big bats in the middle. And we’re talking about trying to survive with a National League-style offense in the American League.

If this doesn’t work out, Guillen says point the finger directly at the manager. There are some in the organization who believe Williams will do just that if the new Sox fall flat.

‘’I’ll take it. Why not? I always like challenges. I like to prove people wrong,’’ Guillen said. ‘’When we won in 2005, we didn’t have that many guys that hit home runs, but we could score from second on a base hit.

‘’I say to Kenny and Jerry, ‘Listen, if this thing don’t work out because of me. ...’ The first time something doesn’t work, I’m not going hide ... from the media, the fans or the players. I take the blame. You know why? Because I’m the face of this ballclub. I’m the one that makes the move.’’

Is Guillen feeling extra pressure?

‘’No. Thanks to Kenny, Jerry and [assistant GM Rick Hahn], they have given me good ballclubs to compete,’’ Guillen said. ‘’If you have a bad ballclub for two, three years in a row, then you have a chance to get fired. But they never give me that kind of chance to be that bad.’’

I do wonder what he called Rick Hahn that prompted the editorial correction. But I am not sure it matters. The Sox have have made a bold decision to go back to baseball’s roots. Of course, in the good old days you never had to worry about steroids. Beer and cigarettes, yes. But not much else.

The fun thing about the Cubs is that, after their failed experiment of having the first DH in the National League, they have gone back to their strengths no matter the record. And, more fun for fans, the Sox are planning on being a team that the South Side hasn’t seen since the late 50’s. Since both teams are going to be so diverse, they will give fans clear talking (i.e., beer buying) points for the entire season. I am not sure I have ever looked forward to watching both teams at the same time this early in the year.

I’ll watch them both, but I’m still only cheering for the Sox.

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Both the Cubs and the Sox are firmly ensconced in Spring Training and preparing for the season ahead. Both teams are coming off of disappointing seasons. On the North Side a lot of problems were laid at the feet of Milton Bradley. Certainly he was a clubhouse cancer but he didn’t injure all those other players. Well, not as far as I have been able to discern anyway. On the South Side, they were bedeviled by two pitchers who cost them around 25 games all total. That is a lot of games just to throw away and the team could never overcome the negative inertia. More importantly, as a player, you had to feel down when you knew that two days out of every five you stood a better chance of losing than anything else. In other words, while more subtle, the White Sox had their own form of clubhouse cancer.

However, both teams displayed their own versions of baseball oncology and cleansed their rosters. For the Cubs, just getting rid of Milton Bradley made them better. For the Sox, that Jake Peavy acquisition resonated deeply. His 1.35 ERA over his last three starts didn’t hurt either.

PAUL SULLIVAN at the Tribune is down in Mesa with the Cubs and takes a look at where they are at this Spring.

Asked if the Fitch Park had changed any since he began his career in the mid-80s, Greg Maddux replied: “Yeah, the trees are bigger.”

Piniella had no news, which is considered good news for the Cubs, a franchise famous for spring training calamities, including hot tub spills, convenience store punch-outs, and even a twisted testicle over the last few years.

Piniella said he’s undecided on whether to use Ryan Theriot or Kosuke Fukudome as his lead-off man, and that both will get a shot this spring. Ted Lilly is back to normal, or as normal as Ted Lilly can be these days. “We’ve got to bring him along slowly, and not rush him,” Piniella said.

The manager also said none of the four candidates for the No. 4 and 5 spots (Jeff Samardzija, Carlos Silva, Sean Marshall and Tom Gorzelanny) has an edge, and that Angel Guzman is two weeks behind the other pitchers, and may appear in a game the second week of March.

Finally, Piniella enjoyed the sound of the ball hitting the catchers’ mitts in the covered batting cage. He had an idea for Cubs pitchers, but mentioned it only to the media.

“I would pay a catcher to make that mitt pop as much as possible, I can tell you that,” he said. “We’ve got some nice, young arms there. But, boy, that sound makes your fastball look about three or four miles faster.”

After the workout, most everyone left to watch the hockey game.

I have no idea how to make a mitt louder, but something tells me that there are blue bleeding scientists huddled in Area 51 working on just that as I type. As to the hockey game, the US beat Canada 5-3 to earn a bye and force Canada to play Germany to even get a chance at moving on. As a side note, Canada did all that it could to keep other nations from having a chance to work out in their facilities until the very last moment. That has earned them the ire of several nations. It also hasn’t helped them very much as they are in 4TH PLACE in the medal count. Korea stands a very solid chance of passing them too, so this could be one of the more embarrassing home Olympiads in history.

Back to baseball.

MARK GONZALES at the Tribune is in Glendale with the Sox at their shiny new facility. He reports that Ozzie has already made one of the toughest decisions he had to make.

Mark Buehrle and Jake Peavy were described by John Danks as staff ace 1 and 1A.

“I feel as good about our starting rotation as I’ve felt coming into a spring training,” general manager Ken Williams said Sunday after pitchers and catchers completed their first workout under soggy conditions.

Buehrle, who was named the Opening Day starter by manager Ozzie Guillen, noticed a little more “buzz’’ in the clubhouse.

The optimism is understandable. Buehrle, 30, will set a franchise record with his eighth Opening Day start against Cleveland on April 5. Peavy, 28, a two-time National League Cy Young Award winner, was 3-0 with a 1.35 ERA in three starts with the Sox last September after a trade with San Diego.

Danks, 24, set career highs of 13 wins and 200 1/3 innings last year. Gavin Floyd, 27, struck out a career-high 163 batters in 2009 and is fully recovered from a sore left hip.

And Freddy Garcia, 33, the projected fifth starter with 121 career victories, limited opponents to three earned runs or fewer in seven of his nine starts after rejoining the Sox on Aug. 18.

“I like it both ways,” Williams said of adding an ace like Peavy and a veteran like Garcia at the end of the rotation. “There are given days where your No. 5 (starter) is matched up with someone else’s No. 1 or No. 2 (starter).’’

The starters, however, are mindful that credentials don’t always guarantee success. Buehrle was 2-7 after throwing his perfect game against Tampa Bay last season. Peavy will spend his first full year in a notorious hitters’ league and park.

Danks hopes to avoid circulatory problems in his left index finger that caused him to miss a start. And Floyd needs to lower a 4.89 ERA against the AL Central.

“If the season goes the way it should on paper, I might get about 15 innings this year,” quipped closer Bobby Jenks.

On the other hand, since Jenks weighed in 10 pounds under his projected weight, he will look very svelte for those 15 innings.

Nevertheless, whether it was to be Peavy/Buehrle or Buehrle/Peavy, fans knew that they were looking at two of the best in the game going back to back. That should help the mentalities of players who were used to losing 2 games straight out of every five. After that, who knows? If the Sox had just won 10 of those 25 they would have won their division last year instead of placing third. Those little things can go a long way.

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When not out debauching virgins or setting the bar higher with levels of hedonism gone wild, Jay the Joke’s very own Nick takes time out of his busy life to support Chicago sports. More importantly, he is a major supporter of Chicago’s women’s sports. Not because they look cute in those shorts, although they do, but because he is a true fan of the game. He introduced Jay the Joke to the intricacies of the Chicago Red Stars and The Chicago Sky. More importantly, he helped both teams garner new fans. Add in the fact that he is a pretty good writer and that he is well connected with both teams, it should then come as no surprise that CHICAGO NOW showed the good judgement to let Nick interview Ella Masar from the Red Stars and then print the results.

Red Stars Confidential got the privilege of being able to interview star Forward Ella Masar. Since professional soccer players get soccer questions all the time, we figured that we should have some fun with Ella.

NH:  The Red Stars have undergone a big transformation in the off-season. How do you feel coming back to what seems like a brand new team?
EM:  I am extremely excited. Anytime you have a disappointing season, as we did last year, we know changes need to be made. I have no doubt that the choices the Red Stars made in the off season will make us a better team and a top contender in the league.

NH:  What’s it going to be like with Kate Markgraf back? (after missing the 2009 season due to the birth of twins)
EM:  Kate Markgraf is a name that speaks for itself. She is not only a veteran of one of the best team’s in our countries history but even more an amazing person. She is someone that will bring experience, heart, and pride to the Chicago name. I am truly flabbergasted to be able to call her my teammate.

NH:  Which would you rather play for? The 2011 World Cup team or the 2012 Olympic team? (my hope is both)
EM:  haha that’s like choosing between chocolate and long walks on the beach, not possible!  To be able to have your name on the back of the US jersey is a dream within itself. The hours of sacrifice, hard work, and dedication are something many people can’t fathom (not even myself at times). Just to have that honor would be worth more than a Gold Medal and World Cup, those are just extra bonuses.

NH:  WPS puts a lot of effort into social networking: Facebook, Twitter, etc - do you think this helps bridge the gap between fan and athlete?
EM:  I definitely think that it helps. It’s a way that the fans can interact with us and take a small step into our lives. Hopefully it can show the joy and love we have for them, as well as how much their respect and appreciation mean to us.

NH:  Who do you look up to professionally?
EM:  Lindsey Tarpley hands down. Humble and hungry is something that I strive to live by everyday and Linds is someone that upholds that to the highest regard. She is by far one of the most dedicated, humble, and hardest workers I know. She has allowed me to know and respect the journey of a national team and professional player that much more.

NH:  What’s your pre-game play list on your iPod?
EM:  Hahaha, well in the past years it has been the Lil Wayne, Eminem, and any other rap music that gets my heart beating and blood a pumping. Yet this year, after taking a liking to movie soundtracks, I can’t help and put on songs that are from an inspiring or dramatic scene. For instance the song “Promontory” from Last of the Mohicans or “Prime” from Transformers are two of my favs. If those don’t make you feel like you can run climb the highest mountain, I’m not sure what else can :p

NH:  I looked at the Chicago Red Stars website and saw that you also do double duty as answering the phones for the Red Stars. Shouldn’t Coach Hayes have you practicing instead of taking ticket orders?

EM:  lol, What can I say, being a professional comes with all sides of the spectrum. Anything that will allow me to be closer with the fans and help build our supporter base is something I can’t turn down.

NH:  Complete this sentence.... “My teammates would be surprised that I can do...”
EM:  .... numerous songs on the piano.

NH:  Three things I can’t live without are...?
EM:  My family, my bible, and my iPod

NH:  Last book you read?
EM:  “Have a Little Faith” by Michael Smith

NH:  Dream vacation destination?
EM:  Anywhere you can see your toesy’s in the clear sweet blue ocean.

NH:  The informal poll of fans is that you have the most male admirers of anyone on the team. How do you feel about that?
EM:  Haha well my cheeks are definitely blushing :p It’s honestly hard to believe I can put up a fight with the girls on our team. I mean last year we might have not been the best on the pitch, but come on, we always knew we were the prettiest team :D

You Must Choose:

NH:  Cubs or White Sox?
EM:  Hmmmm, I’m not too sure. Yes I do know it’s an ultimate sin in this city to be in between, however, baseball is not my forte. Whether it’s Wrigleyville or Cellular Park, it’s always a good time which makes them both great to me.

NH:  Hot dogs or deep-dish pizza?
EM:  Deep dish for sure!

NH:  The Blues Brothers or Ferris Bueller’s Day Off?
EM:  The Blues Brothers - have to love the music.

So, there you have it. A great interview with an up and coming star written by a Jay the Joke legend. Not a bad way to start a Sunday.

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Somebody said somebody wouldn’t last too long, somebody’s still going strong.
Somebody said somebody was all a front, somebody’s still talking junk.
Think of what you say, think of what you do,
think of what you try to put us through.
We’re just singing our song.
When you put us down, it ain’t gonna get you nowhere.
We’re positive and no matter what you think we really care.
Oh, ee, oh, oh, oh, games, games, games, games, games.
- Games - New Kids on the Block

You know it’s a slow news day when I am busting out an NKTB groove. But, it had to be done. Last night, the hobbled Bulls busted out their new kids and beat the Timberwolves 100-94. It was a solid win. It was also, hard as it may be for some to admit, a well coached win. It had to be. The team was forced to start a team that had only had one shoot-around together before the game. There was no way that they had developed any team chemistry. Hell, I doubt they have even figured out who likes which beer. They have a long way to go in that department.

But, the one thing that the new guys seem to have, that the old guys have always had, is a desire to win. JOHN JACKSON over at the Sun Times takes a look at the win.

The Bulls (28-26) won their third in a row since the All-Star break and are two games above .500 for the first time since they were 6-4 on Nov. 17.

‘’We’re playing well,’’ said guard Kirk Hinrich, who celebrated not being dealt by busting out for a game-high 20 points on 7-for-12 shooting.

‘’There’s still room for improvement. We have a bunch of new guys and they’ll get better as they get more comfortable. I think we’re set to have a good finish.’’

After a shaky first half in which they allowed the Timberwolves (13-43) to score 58 points on 24-for-45 (53.3 percent) shooting, the Bulls had a good finish, holding the Timberwolves to 36 points on 14-for-39 (35.9 percent) shooting in the second half.

‘’Our defense was a lot better in the second half,’’ Bulls coach Vinny Del Negro said. ‘’We tightened it up and we were a little bit more aggressive in the open court offensively and got some good stops.’’

All four of the players the Bulls acquired Thursday were in uniform, but only Hakim Warrick (10 points and nine rebounds) and Flip Murray (eight points) played. They filled the roles vacated by Tyrus Thomas and John Salmons and were the first two players off the Bulls’ bench.

Warrick and Murray (along with Acie Law) arrived in time to participate in the shootaround. Joe Alexander arrived later but suited up. Del Negro was asked in the morning if Warrick and Murray would play.

‘’Oh, yeah, they’re playing,’’ Del Negro said. ‘’We don’t have a choice. We need bodies. They’re quality players.’’

Warrick, a 6-9 forward, is similar to Thomas in terms of being an explosive leaper. He struggled with his shot (5-for-13 shooting), but had six offensive rebounds.

‘’I bring some athleticism, some experience, as well—a guy that can play with high energy and score,’’ Warrick said. ‘’I’ll play my hardest and leave it all out on the floor no matter what.’’

Murray is a veteran 6-3 guard who isn’t afraid to hoist shots when open. He doesn’t expect the transition period to be long or painful.

‘’The stuff that they run is mostly what everybody in the league runs,’’ Murray said. ‘’I just have to get the calls down.’’

The deals were done to create cap space, but Rose believes they also could make the Bulls better immediately.

‘’We played against them and they killed us every time we played against them,” Rose said of Warrick and Murray. ‘’Now we just need them to kill the other people to help this team out.

‘’They’re real nice guys. They just want to win, and that’s what we need.’’

Now Del Negro has some room to breathe. He now knows that the new kids can give him legitimate options while resting key players for a playoff run. Who knew the Bulls could even think about stuff like that a month ago? Oh, that’s right, I did.

Gloating aside, Del Negro has shown that he can work with the hand he’s dealt and is able to keep distractions at bay. In that way he is a little like Ozzie. When he was being battered about his impending firing he fired back with my favorite line to date; “Vinny is our coach, and will be our coach...”

A nice jab at Jerry Angelo, Lovie Gump (TM), the media and himself all in one easy shot. Nicely played Vinny.

Last year he was a horrid clock manager, but I felt then and still do, that he was a good, aiming toward great, players’ manager. The clock he has learned, the rest can never be taught.

Everybody’s always talkin’ ‘bout who’s on top.
[Rap:] Don’t cross our path ‘cause you’re gonna get stomped.
We ain’t gonna give anybody any slack.
[Rap:] And if you try to keep us down we’re gonna come right back,
and you know we’re
Hangin’ tough, hangin’ tough, hangin’ tough.
[Rap:] Are you tough enough?
Hangin’ tough, hangin’ tough, hangin’ tough.
[Rap:] We’re rough.
- Hangin’ Tough - New Kids on the Block

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Yesterday amid swirling rumors that had Kirk Heinrich packing his bags, Joakim Noah preparing to be a spokesmodel for Dr. Scholls and Derrek Rose being forced to admit that the season was over while surrounded by clear signs emanating from some murky somewhere that Vinny Del Negro was ready to begin his new career as a busboy at La Scarole, Gar Forman ignored them all and went out and pulled off a near perfect trade. In one fell swoop he cleared salary room for the team to get better for years to come and managed to still keep his surprising team of injured matadors in the playoff hunt.

Would we term that a ‘checkered flag trade’?

Maybe not. But, whatever you come up with, you have to admit that the Bulls just upped the ante a couple of notches and gave their fans legitimate reasons for hope. DAVID HAUGH at the Tribune can barely suppress his glee.

All that was missing from Thursday’s celebratory news conference at the Berto Center was Benny the Bull and the Matadors. General manager Gar Forman was in such a good mood that, unprovoked, he paid coach Vinny Del Negro a compliment.

Indeed, it was a festive atmosphere Forman and the Bulls front office deserved after pulling off the Great Salary Dump of 2010.

In shrewdly unloading John Salmons to the Bucks and Tyrus Thomas to the Bobcats in separate trades, the Bulls accomplished both major goals outlined on Forman’s yellow pad.

They maintained the core of a team that’s surprisingly 27-26 thanks largely to the way Del Negro has ignored distractions. They cleared enough salary-cap space — as much as $18 million — so they can pursue free-agents such as Dwyane Wade or Chris Bosh next summer to make the Bulls NBA Eastern Conference contenders again.

After doing so much complicated math to make the deals work, Forman should offer private consultations on home refinancing and debt consolidation.

“We’re in better position right now than we were 24 hours ago,’’ Forman said.

You don’t need to know the difference between Flip Murray and Flip Wilson to agree with that, and therein lies the only reason for restraint when celebrating Thursday’s moves. Consider the Bulls greatly improved their long-term chances to win an NBA title by trading Thomas, the guy they drafted fourth overall in 2006. In admitting a mistake, the Bulls committed to a championship plan.

“It’s part of the business,’’ Thomas told the Tribune’s K.C. Johnson. “I talked to Gar and (John Paxson) and thanked them both and the Bulls organization for giving me my opportunity to take my first steps in the NBA. I learned a lot here.’’

If failure is the best teacher, it’s fair to say Thomas always looked willing to learn.

Thomas’ shot selection was as bad at times this year as it was his rookie season. His attitude was just as unpredictable last week as it was the last several years. Oh, Thomas could make our jaws drop with athletic plays few NBA players can make. But just as easily he could make your head throb.

Players selected as high as Thomas are supposed to make teams better by staying, not leaving. By their fourth seasons they are supposed to make news by intimidating opponents, not their own coaches as Thomas tried recently when he confronted Del Negro in his office.

Those realities forever put Thomas high on the all-time category of Bulls draft busts, somewhere in the Top 5 behind Brad Sellers, the fool’s gold standard picked ninth overall in 1986. Among draft busts in this sports city Thomas was Corey Patterson in short pants, a more disruptive version of Cedric Benson. Chicago’s very moan.

While they will miss some of John Salmon’s points off the bench, the guys they are bringing in aren’t exactly chopped liver and may fit even better into the current system.

Which brings me to a second point that seems to have been overlooked. The Bulls used this trade to firm up their team now and for the foreseeable future. In other words, it appears my Vinny Del Negro fan club may be in business for a few more years. That is fine with me.

As long as we are talking about the doings at the Madhouse on Madison, I feel I should note something I saw yesterday which caught my attention. After years of living in a hockey deprived city I found myself amused that a whole bar full of people were watching the Hockey games at the Winter Olympics. I was even more amused when one gentleman, whose English is still a work in progress, explained why they were all so enamored with the games.

“We are going to face some of those guys, right? In the playoffs, right? We need to know who we have to beat.”

That’s right. Newbie though he may be to the sport, and to our country, he was still fascinated enough by it all to try and scout the competition.

Don’t worry. It brought a smile to my face too.

Our very own hoops aficionado, El Ro Pinks, has already begun a thread, so CLICK HERE IF YOU KNOW HOW TO SAY ‘HOCKEY’ IN SPANISH

Lou Piniella kicked of his daily meeting with the media by showing them his World Series ring. It was a not so subtle reminder to the team of what they are supposed to be playing for. This is not something Lou has done, quite so, publicly before and may signal an interesting change in how he manages this year. The Sox seem to have eschewed their, highly touted (at least by me), designated hitter by committee plan before the first day of Spring Training. If, as is becoming more possible each day, they sign Johnny Damon then he will be the DH. Kind of. While that might be his primary role, he can still play the field, give guys a breather and allow Ozzie the flexibility that he wanted when he came up with his plan.

In other words, before the first official pitch of Spring has been thrown, things have changed for both teams. I’m going to let CHRIS DE LUCA, writer from the Sun Times and author of everyone’s favorite Ziti recipe, start things off with his look at the Cubs.

But the Cubs didn’t just fail to win. They seemed lost at times.

‘’What team in baseball lost 10 players for over 30 games?’’ Piniella said. ‘’Lost their No. 1, No.2, No. 3, No. 4 starters? Lost their regular left fielder, their regular catcher, their regular third baseman? I mean, I can take the blame. I get paid to do that. But at the same time, there is only so much a manager can do.’’

A low point was Piniella’s confrontation with outfielder Milton Bradley, calling him a ‘’piece of [crap]’’—during a Cubs-White Sox series, no less.

It was a moment that clearly affected Piniella.

‘’I was hoping that things would go really, really smoothly,’’ Piniella said of the Cubs’ controversial signing of Bradley. ‘’No manager likes to see things go wrong, especially when you have a run-in with players. A manager basically wants to be liked. And unfortunately, for whatever reason ... look, I tried my darnedest. I really did. I found early on that the best way was to give Milton as much space as possible, and that’s exactly what I tried to do.’’

Piniella’s honeymoon in Chicago was clearly over. He took his lumps all season.

Piniella says that’s part of the job.

‘’Last year, there were a lot of expectations,’’ Piniella said. ‘’And it just didn’t happen. I shoulder that responsibility. Look, I hurt more than anybody else when this team doesn’t win.’’

Then there were charges he lost his fire.

Mention that to Piniella now and he gets, well, fired up.

‘’I haven’t lost any fire, for God’s sake,’’ he said. ‘’I probably want it more now than ever because I know I’m at the tail end.’’

And he thinks the 2010 version of Piniella—even if it’s his last as a big-league manager—is the best we have seen in Chicago. Piniella seems refreshed. And despite the postseason disappointments, Piniella remains the best manager for this job.

‘’I wish that when I started managing I had the knowledge that I have now,’’ he said, ‘’and I would have been a better manager than I’ve been.’’

What has he learned about Chicago in the last three years?

‘’I’ll tell you what, it’s a little more difficult than what it looks like from the outside,’’ he said. ‘’There’s a bright future here, and I’m hoping that before I’m gone here, we can do the things I’ve been talking about. I want them as bad as anybody else.’’

That ring on his right hand serves as a daily reminder.

There is no truth to the rumor that the Cubs will jack ticket prices even more on days when Lou is scheduled to throw a tantrum.

Whimsy aside, there is something different about the team this year. I can not quite put my finger on it, and it may fade to ashes by June, but this team looks more like the team fans have been promised than any other in recent memory. It is not just one star player, 2 stupid contracts and a prayer. Oh, okay, they still have the stupid contracts, but even with them this still looks like a more well rounded team than the Cubs have put out in years.

Do they have holes? Yes. But that is what Spring Training is for. Find them, define them and fill them.

On the South Side, Ozzie’s dream of 1950’s baseball augmented by a DH seems to have taken a detour. But not as much of one as some fans seem to think. If, and this is still in Fantasy Land and not Reality Park, the Sox do sign Johnny Damon, not to be confused with the swingin’ Mr. Jimmy Damon (pictured above), the Sox could end up with a bench that is just as good as their starting pitching. There is something to be said for that. Fortunately for all of us, SCOTT MERKIN over at MLB.com says it for me so I can shut up for a while.

FOXSports.com indicated that the White Sox’s one-year offer included heavy deferrals, with a present-day value in the $4.5 million range. The bottom line is that Damon simply might prefer the situation in Chicago over the possible opportunity in Detroit.

Without Damon, the White Sox left-handed offense will come from Pierzynski, Mark Teahen, Mark Kotsay, Juan Pierre and switch-hitter Omar Vizquel—although Mark Buehrle did go deep once last year. The highest home run total among this group belongs to Pierzynski with 13.

The American League Central is right-handed heavy in elite starting pitchers, meaning the White Sox could benefit from having a little left-handed punch. Damon, 36, certainly is not a classic home run threat, even after matching his career-high of 24 dingers with the Yankees in 2009. But Damon has plenty of extra-base and run-producing potential, a trait stressed in the aggressive 2010 White Sox approach.

Damon has produced at least 30 doubles in 10 of his 15 big league seasons, while reaching double-digits in home runs on 11 occasions. He even produced double-digit triples in three campaigns.

Ozzie Guillen’s DH-by-committee plan effectively would be scrapped if Damon comes aboard. Damon has played 14 full seasons and never has had less than 524 plate appearances in any of those campaigns. He’s been over 600 plate appearances in each of the last 12 years.

General manager Ken Williams has spoken of Andruw Jones and Kotsay primarily being brought in as the team’s fourth and fifth outfielders, with Kotsay also backing up first baseman Paul Konerko. Guillen will get them at-bats, but probably not as many as originally planned, although a Damon addition would give the White Sox one of the division’s best benches.

More than just the raw statistics, Damon brings that championship attitude, as explained by Harrelson.

“Johnny Damon would be a good fit anywhere. He’s that kind of player,” Harrelson said. “I watched him his whole high school and professional career, starting in Kansas City [from 1995-2000], and he’s a winner.

“He is a contributor. He’s great in the clubhouse. We have some pretty good players here already, but Johnny is a guy who can make a difference.”

Pierzynski played down Monday’s recruiting aspect, as the decision ultimately rests with Damon—regardless of the information provided. But Damon and Pierzynski have paired up successfully aside from high school, working on one of TNA Pro Wrestling’s most successful pay-per-view events in December 2005.

I used to be in a band called TNA a/k/a Talent ‘N Action. One girl had 38 DD’s. She was “Talent.” The other had 2 casaba melons wrapped in silk bringing up the back side. She was “Action.” I would have paid good money to see them wrestle.

Anyway, back on track here. Ozzie has always been focused on guys who drive in runs, run the base-paths and sacrifice themselves for the team. Damon can do that. And if he can then the rest should work itself out.

CLICK HERE TO CELEBRATE THAT SWING

Sure, it was 1,000 miles away, but we all heard that sound anyway. The wonderful sound of a round little ball getting the snot knocked out of it by baseball bats. Then we heard that other wonderful sound. The sound of a similar round little ball whizzing past batters to slap into a leather glove. While it is not official, baseball season has begun in earnest for Chicago’s two teams. The Cubs already are working with hitters and the Sox are taking glances at their pitching. These may be the themes for both teams this year. Let’s begin our look by turning to, one of my favorite MLB.com writers, CARRIE MUSKAT.

Wednesday, Cubs pitchers and catchers report to camp, and the first workout will be Thursday. Jaramillo told the players Tuesday that he’s available early and often. Expect him to be first in the cage each day.

“The more I see them, the easier it will be for us to get that relationship going to get it across what we’re trying to do,” Jaramillo said.

After a hitter finished his turn and stepped out of the cage, Jaramillo was right there to talk about what he did, no matter if it was Soto or Minor League infielder Darwin Barney. The players will have a regular routine in the cage: two bunts, two “hit and run” swings, two “get ‘em over” swings, then one with the infield in, one with the infield back, then five to the opposite field, maybe five more pulling the ball, and five with a two-strike approach.

“We’re trying to have a purpose for everything we do,” Jaramillo said.

For Soto, Tuesday was the first time he hit off live pitching since dropping 40 pounds in the offseason. The leaner, trimmer catcher had no problems turning on pitches.

“It just feels better,” Soto said.

“He looks great,” Jaramillo said. “They’ve all got a great attitude. Everybody does at first. I told them what I want is when the Cubs go into a town, watch out. I want that mentality offensively that when we go into a town, you better be ready for us. We can do that, it just depends on how we approach it and execute and attack pitchers.”

Sounds like he’s trying to develop a little bit of a swagger.

Cubbie swagger? OH NO SHE DID NOT GO THERE! But, in fact, she did. While the infamous “Cubbie Swagger” campaign did not end as well as fans may have hoped, it does not mean it was a bad idea. There is nothing wrong with players, and managers, believing in themselves. Especially those guys who round out the bottom part of the 1 through 25 placements. While fans focus on the stars, it is the guys who come off the bench, cover for injured players and so on that get you over those humps and keep the team steady. If they are getting real work and instruction now, it will bode well for the team all year. Especially since Lou has shown a tendency to play starters more in ST than most managers.

On the South Side, the Sox are taking a look at more pitching. No, I am not kidding. As one of JTJ’s long time supporters, all around great guy and an excellent writer in his own right, SCOTT MERKIN reports from MLB.com, you can never have too much pitching.

Unless you were deeply entrenched in the White Sox organization or were familiar with the baseball program at Old Dominion University, the name of Daniel Hudson probably didn’t mean much at this time last year.

Sure, he was a fifth-round pick in the 2008 First-Year Player Draft, the same class producing starting second baseman Gordon Beckham. And his 90 strikeouts recorded over 69 2/3 innings for Great Falls made for a solid first impression coupled with his 3.36 ERA.

Pitchers without overpowering raw stuff don’t exactly receive a huge amount of attention, though, after one 14-start stretch in the 2008 Pioneer League.

But, as the old adage goes, what a difference one year makes for the right-hander.

Hudson, who turns 23 on March 9, will be making his big league camp debut when White Sox pitchers and catchers suit up for their first 2010 workouts Sunday at Camelback Ranch. This is no cursory Cactus League look for a fast-rising prospect.

Not even close. Hudson made the meteoric climb through four Minor League stops in 2009 and ended up reaching the Majors for six games, including two starts. He enters Spring Training with a shot to win the job as the long reliever, while also serving in the unofficial capacity of sixth starter in training.

If an injury shuts down any of the elite five making up the White Sox starting rotation, then Hudson will get the next call. That concept makes his travels from Class A Kannapolis last April to the start of Spring Training 2010 even more unbelievable.

“It definitely has been surreal,” said Hudson, speaking to MLB.com by phone from his home in Virginia. “At this time last year, I really had not expectations going in.

“Every guy in the Minors shoots to get to the Majors, or at least as far as he can every season, but nobody could have predicted what happened for me last year. I just worked hard starting in Spring Training, kept throwing well and I got promoted.”

This previous understatement from Hudson needs a bit more explanation, although his improbable and incredible run has been chronicled extensively since last September. Hudson finished with a 14-5 record, 2.32 ERA and 166 strikeouts in 147 1/3 innings overall during stops at Kannapolis, Class A Winston-Salem, Double-A Birmingham and Triple-A Charlotte.

A 14-5 record, 2.32 ERA and 166 strikeouts over 147 1/3 innings doesn’t suck, for those of you not entirely clear on how this works. With a Fearsome Fivesome already slated to start the year it may seem improbable that Hudson would see much time. But, as Scott notes, injuries can, and do, happen. Hudson could also be a long reliever (that mythical 6th starter in MLB today) and an innings eater. Or, he could get a full year in at 3A and hone his skills even more. No matter what, this is the kind of problem that 29 other MLB teams would love to have.

Imagine this conversation;

OZZIE: Oh ****, so and so is hurt.

KW: Wow, bummer Oz. I guess we’ll need to use that kid with the ERA in the low 2’s.

OZZIE: LOW ****ING 2’S? Haven’t you got any ****ing thing better?

Both laugh until they hurt.

BTW, was that too much sucking up to the writers at MLB.com? Yeah, you’re right, I didn’t think so either.

Since our very own baseball expert, Niteowl, has already started a thread, that goes far deeper into MLB’s Spring Training than this meager front page, I invite you to CLICK HERE TO LET HOPE SPRING ETERNAL.

While I originally thought that it might be fun to talk about the Cubs woes with the other MLB teams in the Cactus League fighting against them about the ticket tax. The good news for fans is that the originally proposed amount of $10.00 per ticket now seems to have been reduced to $1.00 per ticket. Not that this reduction has made any of the other teams happy, but it does ameliorate the damage to fans if it goes through. And that is nowhere near a given at this point.

Then I thought it might be fun to take a look at the 2010 version of the Go-Go White Sox. Ozzie has completely rebuilt this team to rely on pitching, defense and speed. While many fans are bemoaning the lack of home run production that will result from this move, others are lauding the obvious escalation in RBIs and the increase in overall team balance.

I also thought I might take a look at the Bulls and their overall toughness. After all, they have had more than their fair share of injuries and they are still in contention. That is usually a sign of a well coached team. This is borne out by the increase in my ad-hoc Vinny Del Negro fan club.  Since my occasional mentions of them usually result in my getting a free beer or 3, I have very valid reasons for writing about them.

Of course, I could have talked about the Hawks. Certainly the best sports story going in Chicago right now. Granted they are hanging up at the Olympiad trying to avoid a second mention on TMZ, but they still are a shot in the arm for all local sports’ fans.

However, I ran across one tidbit that held my attention and I decided to run with it instead. It seems that the Bears have backed themselves into an unusual corner. DAN POMPEII over at the Tribune fills us in.

The cash is available.

Cap space won’t stop them.

The holes are there.

So the Bears should start making it rain on every free agent who offers a dance, right?

Well, not exactly. The problem is, there aren’t expected to be many players available worth spending money on. If the NFL’s collective bargaining agreement is not extended before the start of free agency March 5, all players with four to five years experience who normally would be unrestricted free agents will be restricted free agents. That affects a pool of more than 200 players, including 75 starters.

And the Bears cannot sign a restricted free agent whose tender requires a first- or second-round pick as compensation — because they don’t have a first- or second-round pick in the April draft to give.

That thins out the free agent pool considerably.

But there are opportunities for improvement.

The most glaring need on this team is at free safety. There is one very attractive player expected to be available — Darren Sharper of the Saints. He was available last offseason, too, but the Bears did not pursue him.

He is the kind of leader the Bears could use in their defensive backfield, but chances are good he will find a better fit elsewhere.

Sharper is a bit of a freelancer. He fit in wonderfully with the Saints, but might be a square peg in round hole in the Bears’ scheme. He played in a defense similar to the Bears’ in Minnesota and had eight fewer interceptions in 2008 than his nine in New Orleans last season.

There are ways the Bears could improve the secondary without signing a safety. They could acquire a cornerback and move Charles Tillman to safety. But if the Texans hit Dunta Robinson with a franchise tag, as they are expected to do, the corner market will be as flimsy as cheap toilet paper.

The Bears’ safeties — no matter who they are — would be better behind a better pass rush. .

That leads us to Julius Peppers. The Panthers are expected to allow the defensive end to walk.

Would the Bears be so bold? Well, they were the boldest team in football last year, trading for Jay Cutler. This management team has made other brazen moves, such as trading for Adewale Ogunleye and Gaines Adams, signing Muhsin Muhammad to a market-setting deal and landing restricted free agent John Tait.

And the Bears have more reason than ever to be bold. Everyone knows they have to win in 2010 — or else.

Or else. That pretty much sums it up nicely. To compete the Bears have to upgrade and they can’t really do it with the situation they are in. Nothing left to trade, nothing in the cabinet at all. In other words, they have a lot of needs and no way to fix them. For the fans, that means that the new coaches had either wear pads or make what the players they have now into a whole lot of Pro Bowlers to survive.

Not that I am by nature a pessimist, but I doubt if I am alone in feeling some minor trepidation over that last possibility.

CLICK HERE TO PLUG SOME HOLES

It doesn’t get any better than this. 4 wins, 3 in shootouts, have put the Hawks back on track. After a rough patch that had fans demanding trades, some even calling for Quenville’s head or even less rational options, the Hawks have put the pieces together and started beating everyone again. That makes people calm down.

One thing you can say about the Hawks, there is no quit in them. Even yesterday, when Kane got cold cocked, Troy Brower applied immediate justice. This team looks out for each other and, considering how young they are, this is one of the best signs you could ask for. TIM REED at the Tribune has the full story.

Blackhawks winger Troy Brouwer didn’t know a player could receive an additional two-minute minor penalty for instigating a fight while wearing a visor.

The subsections of the NHL rulebook were not in his thoughts as he saw Hawks star Patrick Kane sprawled on the ice, holding his right knee. He acted on his first instinct, immediately making Columbus defenseman Anton Stralman accountable for his knee-on-knee hit early in the third period of last night’s 5-4 shootout win in Nationwide Arena.

Brouwer pounded the Swedish defenseman as two Hawks’ trainers attended to Kane. He received 19 minutes in penalties for his actions, including two minors for instigating.

“On a hit like that, I felt it was dirty,” Brouwer said. “For me personally, I didn’t know that having a visor was an extra two minutes. I tried not to get the instigator. It’s always tough to see a teammate go down. So I had to step in.”

Everything worked out for Brouwer and the Hawks. Kane returned to the game and Brouwer got back in time to skate one overtime shift, making him shootout eligible.

The Hawks won their third straight shootout, and fourth consecutive game, as Brouwer beat Jackets goaltender Mathieu Garon in the fourth round with a blocker-side shot. Kane scored the only other shootout goal in support of goaltender Antti Niemi, who’s been in net for three consecutive wins.

“They are valuable points and you go into the (Olympic) break with four wins in a row,” Hawks coach Joel Quennville said. “Those are certainly big points for us and I think we can capture some momentum when we return.”

The Hawks rallied from a 2-0 first-period deficit thanks to four straight goals from Kane, Bryan Bickell, Jake Dowell and Patrick Sharp. They carried a 4-3 lead into the third period before Stralman collided with Kane at the Jackets’ blueline.

A night after Marian Hossa was injured with a shoulder check to the chin, Quennville certainly didn’t mind giving the Jackets a four-minute power play to see Hawks sticking up for one another.

Now the Hawks get a break, the same as all the other teams, to enjoy the wonderful nightlife in Vancouver. Maybe even brush up on those wacky rules. Of course, we all know how a Vancouver trip went for them the last time, but we can all hope that we do not get Limogate Part II. Or, if we do, that they get a better class of hockey groupies.

Seriously, if you are 20 years old and rich as Croesus, you can do a little better. I have been to Vancouver, even shot a quick music video there. We got everyone for a couple of beers and some Tequila and did measurably better than the Hawks. You can trust me when I say that there are plenty of fine looking examples of the female species wandering around that town. And many of them would love a limo ride now and then.

Anyway, the Hawks seem to have their act together and are certainly the best team going in for Chicago fans. I guess I can’t ask for anything more.

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The 2010 Winter Olympics began in Vancouver last night in the same manner as the campaign to get them did. Someone died. Harriet Nanahee died on February 24, 2007 after being jailed for protesting the Olympics. Nodar Kumaritashvili from the Republic of Georgia died when he hit an unpadded post at 90mph on his luge run. This was after Armin Zoeggeler of Italy crashed without injury and Violeta Stramaturaru of Romania had to be airlifted to a hospital. Both suffered injuries on the same luge track within 24 hours.

Forgetting for a minute that Vancouver put on one of the most stunningly amateurish, condescending and boring opening ceremonies ever, one wonders why they held them at all. How do you you celebrate international good will when your country has built a course that kills people? Given the lack or professional oversight on this one course, you can be forgiven for wondering what the rest of the events will entail. 

I realize that the Olympics are meant to be a feel good moment, damn the reality, but this seems a touch extreme.

RICK MORRISSEY at theSun Times tends to agree with me. At least on this.

There is no manual for how to handle tragedy when a TV audience of 3.5 billion is watching. But this was much too joyful, much too celebratory, especially in light of questions about the safety of the luge course on Whistler Mountain. A sense of loss was not given much of a chance to establish a beachhead here.

The IOC will have to answer whether a track that athletes had complained about was responsible for Kumaritashvili’s death.

‘’It is a time of sorrow, not a time to ask for reasons,’’ International Olympic Committee president Jacques Rogge said at a packed news conference Friday afternoon.

He’s wrong. After athletes had complained about the treacherous speeds, why didn’t organizers work to tame the track? Why was the Canadian team allowed to limit the practice time of the rest of the world on the tricky course? Why was there a metal pole so close to the track?

As recently as Thursday night, lugers had complained about dangerous speeds. The track too often acted as if it had anger issues.

‘’They are pushing it a little too much,’’ Australia’s Hannah Campbell-Pegg had said. ‘’To what extent are we just little lemmings that they just throw down a track and we’re crash-test dummies? I mean, this is our lives.’’

There’s no question the luge competition, which is scheduled to start today, should be postponed until the track is made safer. Speeds reportedly have come close to 100 mph at the venue, which was finished in December 2007.

You can take the simplest child’s competition, put it in the hands of adults and it will turn into full-contact blood sport. It’s difficult to suppress the human need for speed. Fast becomes faster. Hard becomes harder. Thrilling becomes terrifying.

That’s where Olympic officials are supposed to step in. They, not the competitors, are supposed to be the watchdogs. But there always has been an above-it-all attitude to the Olympic hierarchy. They always seem to know better.

The only thing we know for sure is that disaster has struck. It’s hard to picture how the start to these Games could have been much worse for Vancouver, which had been planning for this day for the past seven years. What a shame.

The Opening Ceremony is supposed to be goose-bump stuff. Nation after nation in a long line of oneness. Athletes shoulder to shoulder, waving hands and flags. American short-track star Apolo Anton Ohno and Ethiopian cross-country skier Robel Teklemariam, who as much chance of medaling as you and I do, on the same stage.

Canada brought out its big guns. Bryan Adams and Nelly Furtado sang. So did Sarah McLachlan. Wayne Gretzky was among four who lit the Olympic cauldron.

But there was no hiding what had happened two hours north of this city on a hard, cold luge course. There was a concerted effort to suppress the memory, at least for a night.

If organizers thought pomp, circumstance and pyrotechnics could freeze out the horror, they were wrong.

When the 11-member Georgian team walked unsmiling into the stadium during the parade of nations, there was no forgetting anything. Death has a bad habit of not going along with the program.

I can’t even begin to know what the Georgian team must be feeling. They came to Vancouver to celebrate sport and participate in a global spectacle of good will. At least that is what it said in their PR kit. Instead they are going to have to load the coffin of their comrade and friend into a cargo plane and ship him home.

I wanted to make jokes about the late night cable TV quality of the opening film or the Olympic flame being transported by Bryan Adams in a pick up truck or the (clearly) Anglo dancers dressed up like Native Canadians or the overuse of the word “aboriginal” by the announcers or ..... well, to be fair, there was a lot to choose from. But, I just can’t.

Yes, accidents can and do happen. But this man died because of the incompetence and, probably, greed of the organizers. I hope that the $50.00 (Canadian) that they saved on padding was worth it. I also hope, fervently, that everyone else survives.

Another gentleman who is not a big fan of what the Olympics have become, Tyrone Briggs, has already started a thread, so CLICK HERE TO CONTINUE TO BE APPALLED.

It is a day of good news for various Chicago sports’ fans. Derrek Rose of the Bulls is not as seriously hurt as once feared and with the All Star break coming up should get some much needed rest, even if he does play a quarter or so in the game. That is more like a loose practice than actual game conditions, so he should be fine.

The Hawks are in second place for overall points, which is fine by me. The points winner the last few seasons has been dumped in the first round of the playoffs. I see no reason to tempt fate. I’ll take the Stanley Cup over the President’s Trophy any day. No offense Mr. President.

The Bears continue to remain an enigma. They are either going to be a force of nature with an offense that just won’t quit or the ferocious flops of football with a defense that can’t get started. Or both. Or neither. At this point, I just don’t care. Spring Training is ready to start and we have some baseball news to discuss.

As you may have noted from the title of this post, Ozzie Guillen, that inglorious bastard who manages the White Sox, has officially retired. JOE COWLEY of the Sun Times has the exclusive.

Slugger Frank Thomas is set to officially retire this afternoon at U.S. Cellular Field, marking the end of a career which White Sox manager Ozzie Guillen on Thursday called one of the ‘’best ever.’’

Thomas, who turns 42 in May and last played with the Oakland Athletics in 2008, ends his career tied for 18th on the all-time Major League home run list with 521, as well as having 1,704 RBI, a .301 career batting average, a .419 on-base percentage and a .555 slugging percentage. He won back-to-back American League MVP awards in 1993 and ‘94 during his 16 seasons with the Sox.

What stood out to Guillen was that Thomas did it the right way in an era clouded by performance-enhancing drugs and asterisks.

‘’Right now, he did it when a lot of guys were doing it the wrong way,’’ Guillen said. ‘’He did it clean. He worked his ass off to get where he is.’’

The Sox have no definite plans for how they will honor their former first-round pick, but they definitely will honor him. Whether that means retiring his No. 35 or adding to the statue collection on the outfield concourse, that’s yet to be announced.

‘’[Chairman Jerry Reinsdorf] has said repeatedly that when the time was right we would start to look at those types of honors,’’ said Scott Reifert, the Sox’ vice president of communications.

The Thomas announcement came on the same day left-handed pitcher Tom Glavine announced his retirement.

And Guillen, too, apparently.

‘’I never officially announced my retirement [as a player], either—I never did,’’ Guillen said. ‘’So I would like to announce my retirement tonight, too.’’

So, the Ozzie era is officially over. No more will we have to consider the possibility of him running out of the dugout and playing short. Well, he is short, but that’s another story.

What? I missed something?

Oh, yeah, Frank Thomas retired too. The Big Hurt - I am still willing to pay good money to see Mariotti call him the “Big Skirt” to his face - was one of those rare hitters who actually scared pitchers. They were forced to throw him anything but a fastball. Even so, all on his own, and often injured, Thomas still found ways to get home runs, drive in runs or just get on base. Hitting guru, Walt Hriniak, still thinks he was the best hitter to play the game. DAVID HAUGH at the Tribune has that exclusive interview.

Walt Hriniak can’t remember what he and Frank Thomas were fighting about before one game against the Twins in 1995, but he sure remembers the result of Thomas’ rage.

Channeling 6 feet 5 inches and 275 pounds of fury into a high fastball, Thomas ripped a home run Hriniak thought might land on the Dan Ryan.

“He ran around the bases and I went to shake his hand and he wouldn’t shake my hand because of the tiff we had,’’ Hriniak recalled Thursday night on the phone from Maine. “The next day, he was OK. I’d push his buttons and he’d push mine. He’d find things. That worked for him. That was just Frank.’’

Frankly, with respect to Shoeless Joe Jackson and Luke Appling, the Sox never have had a better hitter than Thomas.

“I feel really old right now,’’ Thomas, 41, said Thursday night receiving Comcast SportsNet’s Lifetime Achievement Award. “I’ve given everything to this town.’’

With nothing left to give, Thomas will announce his retirement officially Friday at U.S. Cellular Field. He didn’t play in 2009 so all official confirmation really does is start the clock for Cooperstown for the first-ballot Hall of Famer.

Circle summer 2014 on the calendar for the enshrinement, Sox fans — the earliest Thomas can be inducted five years after his last game in 2008. He’s a lock.

Employing Hriniak’s unique front-foot hitting style that included finishing swings with one hand on the bat, Thomas finished an 18-year career with 521 home runs, 1,701 RBIs, a .301 career batting average and a .419 on-base percentage. He was a contact hitter trapped inside a slugger’s body with one of his generation’s most discerning eyes at the plate (1,667 walks).

“This isn’t any BS,’’ said Hriniak, Thomas’ personal hitting guru who was the Sox hitting coach from 1989-95. “People ask me who was the greatest hitter I ever saw and I said if you needed a base hit, Wade Boggs, but as far as the best all-around hitter, it was Frank Thomas, hands down. He could win a game with a single down the right-field line or home run to left.’’

Hriniak just laughed when asked if he ever tried to talk Thomas out of his unusual ritual of swinging a 3-foot, 5-pound piece of rebar — a steel rod that reinforces concrete — in the on-deck circle. He knew better.

“Never,’’ Hriniak said.

David goes on to relate a very funny story about how, after he was traded to the A’s, Thomas had accidentally left his rebar in Chicago. His hitting suffered so much that he was hitting below .200. When the A’s came to Chicago, he went and retrieved his beloved slab of rebar and ended up with 39 homers, 114 RBIs and in contention for MVP.

That must be one hell of a piece of rebar.

I guess, now that Ozzie and Frank have both announced their official retirements, they can enter the HOF on the same day.

Hey! A boy can dream, can’t he?

Oddly enough, our resident bleeder of the Cubbie blue, Tyrone Briggs, has already started a thread, so CLICK HERE TO ENJOY YOUR GOLDEN YEARS.

In the U.S., if you are on path to play Major League Baseball, you go through various traveling leagues, All Star teams (both regional and state) and then go to 1-A or head off to college to get an education to go along with your future payday. As tough as some of this might seem, with kids living on fast food and in buses, to many aspiring baseball players, the life of burgers and buses would be the lap of luxury. To help upcoming players understand that fact the Cubs have instituted a new take on an old program and are sending their prized U.S. prospects to the Dominican Republic to play for a month. CARRIE MUSKAT over at MLB.com took some time to speak with the players and see if any of it was working.

Jim Adduci remembers the cold showers. Brett Jackson says he won’t forget the rough fields or the endless diet of rice and beans.

The two Cubs Minor Leaguers spent one month in the Dominican Republic and learned how different baseball is in the U.S. compared to the Caribbean island.

“You definitely step out of your skin a little bit,” said Jackson, the Cubs’ No. 1 Draft pick last June. “You see where these kids live, and that’s home to them and they don’t know anything different. We’re fortunate to grow up where we did. I was certainly spoiled growing up in Northern California. It puts a lot in perspective. I’m really thankful.”

The Cubs schedule the junkets so the players have a better understanding of what life is like for their Dominican teammates.

“It’s a reward and a ‘Keep it going’ kind of thing,” said Dave Keller, the team’s Minor League hitting coordinator. “We want them to work on stuff and enjoy themselves.”

Jackson went in November with Minor Leaguers Rebel Ridling, Ryan Flaherty, DJ LeMahieu, Logan Watkins, Matt Cerda, Sergio Burruel and Kyler Burke. They stayed at an Embassy Suites hotel, joking that they got to stay “at the Embassy.”

When Adduci went in 2008, he lived in the dorms at the Cubs’ academy in Boca Chica, which apparently didn’t have any hot water.

“I’ll never forget the cold showers,” Adduci said.

The players would practice from 7:30 a.m. until 11 a.m., then play a game. They had Sundays off, which, Jackson said, “was the best day of the week.” Players could catch up on their sleep or play golf or go to the beach.

Neither Jackson nor Adduci, both outfielders, are fluent in Spanish but being totally immersed in the language helped. They didn’t need interpreters at the end of their stints.

“By the end of the month, we could understand what they were saying in the meetings and they didn’t have to say anything in English,” Jackson said.

During Adduci’s trip, the players would travel by bus to different ballparks. The bus would pull over to pick up the scorekeeper and the umpires.

“They’d just be standing on the side of the road, waiting,” Adduci said.

I like this program a lot. While it does not end all the world’s ills or cure any major diseases, it does allow young, impressionable, players to get a grip on reality. Who knows? It might even help their baseball skills. But, believe it or not, that part is secondary to the trip. While other teams have versions of this in place, and have had for years, the Cubs is the first one I have seen that is directly concerned with the social impact on the players. Something like this can only increase the player’s ability to get along in a professional clubhouse. And that is something that the Cubs learned how important it could be last year.

While it is true that there have been teams that couldn’t stand each other, they still had enough respect for the game and its traditions to put on a game face when the ump yelled “Play ball!” That seems to have gotten lost over the last couple of decades. Anything that can get that back on track is a welcome addition in my book.

So, although the Cubs ticket tax has met with universal derision (think of it this way; what they are asking is like asking the Royals to pay for the Yankees’ new stadium) they do seem to have gotten something right. And, in the long run, this one might be the more important.

CLICK HERE TO COUNT YOUR BLESSINGS

PAUL SULLIVAN at the Tribune notes that Cubs’ fans this year will be able to watch batting practice at Wrigley Field. To make this happen, the safe haven for rats will be opened up to the public.

If there indeed are rats roaming the underbelly of Wrigley Field’s bleachers, as White Sox manager Ozzie Guillen has claimed, they may be mingling with Cubs fans this season.

The Cubs are following the lead of the Red Sox, opening up the space underneath the right-field bleachers for corporate pregame events and for bleacher fans who may want to come down during the game to watch the action on flat-screen TVs.

A pane of one-way glass will separate fans from the right-field batting cage, allowing them to watch batting practice in the area.

A few years ago, the Red Sox added TVs and food stands to the unused area underneath the right-field bleachers at Fenway Park, and it proved to be a big success. The bleacher area is one of several changes in store for Wrigley Field in the first year of the Ricketts era.

He goes on to note that there will be new urinals, advertising placement to block the ads on nearby buildings and they are going to tear down the exterior walls to allow a better view of the skyline. All of this is being done for the benefit of Cubs’ fans. Maybe.

FRAN SPIELMAN at the Sun Times takes a look at the “one year experiment” of putting concerts at Wrigley. The “one year experiment” now moves into its second year and may cost the Cubs one of their precious night games.

Three nighttime concerts at Wrigley Field apparently aren’t too much for the congested Lake View neighborhood to handle, according to the alderman whose ward includes the ballpark.

Elton John and Billy Joel and the Dave Matthews Band will headline three more concerts this summer at Wrigley, thanks to an “exception” to the night-game ordinance that Ald. Tom Tunney (44th) plans to introduce at Wednesday’s City Council meeting.

Elton John and Billy Joel will reprise last year’s wildly popular concerts on July 7—a Wednesday night.

The Dave Matthews Band—whose bus driver notoriously unloaded 800 pounds of human waste on a tour boat passing under the Kinzie Street bridge in 2004—is expected to headline Friday and Saturday night concerts in September. The dates haven’t been finalized. Matthews played Wrigley in 2007.

Last summer, the Cubs held an unprecedented three Wrigley concerts in one summer week—two by Elton John and Billy Joel, one by Rascal Flatts.

When the Southport Neighbors Association argued that it was too big a burden, in part because of a conflict with the group’s neighborhood festival, Tunney called it a one-year experiment. He promised that, if things didn’t go well, “There’ll be no more concerts.”

On Tuesday, Tunney said the three-concert experiment was so successful that it’s worth repeating.

He also said he hasn’t decided yet whether to demand that the Cubs forfeit one of their 30 night games in return.

“There are certainly naysayers,” Tunney said. “There have been naysayers about doing any concerts. But the majority of the community thinks the concerts, so long as they’re regulated and few and far between, provide benefits to the community.

“It’s great for business in the neighborhood. It also provides real, first-rate entertainment at the park.”

So, in summation, the reason the park exists, baseball, will be forced to lose a night game that they need and will have to schedule away games during that stretch. Well, I guess when you think about it, who wants to go to Wrigley on a beautiful summer day and be subjected to baseball?

Even with the list of all the fun improvements being done at Wrigley, I note that there are very few mentions that relate to the team. Yes, they are getting a new nutrition / training room that will force the umps to get dressed at the Cubbie Bear. And, yes, they are going to do something with the batting cage. But, overall, Cubs’ fans will get the same team with, basically, the same facilities that they have had for a while. 

But, those Billy Joel tickets will be a hot commodity, so there is always something to look forward to. Oh, and the spiffy urinals.

Since our very own, die hard Cubs’ fan, Tyrone Briggs has already started a thread, all you have to do is CLICK HERE TO CELEBRATE THE NEW ERA

First off, to all the people claiming that Peyton Manning is a bust since he lost the same number of Superbowls as Brett Favre, please line up over to the left so I can hit you with a brick. As sad as it was finding out that only 11 Colts’ fans greeted the team when their plane landed yesterday, it is even sadder to see people lining up to vilify Manning for not winning his second Superbowl. He didn’t go from soaring eagle to doddering turkey in just one game. Over at the Sun Times, RICK MORRISSEY takes a look at the unwinnable situation that Manning has found himself in.

Peyton Manning got set up. Almost immediately after the Colts won the AFC Championship Game, the discussion in the media turned to his legacy. If he won a second Super Bowl, the thinking went, he would be considered among the best quarterbacks ever.

It was filler, a conversation piece, a way to get through the two long weeks between the conference title games and Super Bowl XLIV.

But damn if the fluff wasn’t used to hang him after the Saints upset the Colts on Sunday night.

The national sport of taking an ax to a pedestal was in full swing after Manning threw an interception at the worst moment.

In the amount of time it took for the Saints’ Tracy Porter to pick off that fourth-quarter pass, the question went from ‘’Will Peyton Manning be able to take his rightful place among the all-time greats?’’ to ‘’Can the phrase ‘choking dog’ be found in the Oxford English Dictionary?’’

It’s the burden of great players to find themselves lying on a microscope slide, but Manning probably has chronic bedsores from it.

Four years ago, the story line was that he struggled in pressure situations. Thus it followed that he would never win a game that included a Roman numeral, even if the opponent normally played on Friday nights and had a homecoming dance.

Then the Colts won Super Bowl XLI, against the Bears.

Ah, but that wasn’t enough. Then Manning needed another one to be considered, at least by the media, one of the best quarterbacks to have played the game.

You must be doing something right if they keep moving the target on you.

Dan Marino made the Hall of Fame with zero Superbowl rings on his fingers. Heck, he only played in one in his entire career and the got his ass handed to him by the 49’ers. Just making the Superbowl means you have to have a go deeper into the playoffs than 30 other teams (more now than when Marino played). It isn’t nearly as easy as the media makes it out to be. Yet, somehow, a guy who has been touted as one of the greatest to play the game is now a loser? Sorry, but that doesn’t fly with me.

He lost the game, he didn’t trash his career.

Speaking of quarterbacks who have been compared to turkeys, I thought I’d take a minute to look at the Bears’ situation. NEIL HAYES, also at the Sun Times, takes a look at what must happen for the Bears to be successful next year. Mostly he sees the need for the defense to grab a lot of bench time.

Forgive Lovie Smith for allowing the search for Ron Turner’s replacement to drag on, but this was a critical hire not only because the new offensive coordinator will be in charge of Jay Cutler’s development.

With all due respect to Rod Marinelli, who was promoted to defensive coordinator Friday, the new offensive coordinator could be the person who makes the biggest impact on the defense next season.

The offense, defense and special teams have to complement each other for a team to be at its best, and that hardly has been the case with the Bears in recent seasons. Smith’s defensive philosophy revolves around creating turnovers. Unfortunately for him, his offense has been equally adept at producing them.

Turnovers aren’t the only issue. For Smith’s beloved cover-2 defense to be effective, smaller, lighter defenders need to spend more time on the sideline and less time on the field.

‘’The offensive coordinator has to wrap his arms around Jay Cutler and say, ‘Look, we have to make sure you’re successful and understand this game is about making big plays in the passing game and also methodically taking time off the clock as you drive the ball down the field,’’ said former Kansas City Chiefs and New York Jets coach Herm Edwards.

‘’Jay can do that because he can get outside the pocket. If you ask this guy to drop back, it’s not his game. That’s the first thing you have to learn. He has to be outside that tackle to make plays. If he can do that and keep the chains moving, he’ll be fine because he’ll control the clock and limit possessions.’’

Perhaps the most overlooked reason for the Bears’ defensive slide the last three seasons is an inconsistent offense that has failed to complement what Smith is trying to achieve on defense.

His unit relies on quickness and speed. If the defense is on the field too long, it loses its advantage. Turning the ball over and not controlling the clock leads to more defensive snaps, more fatigue and greater risk of injury.

Edwards said when he and Smith coached the cover-2 with the Tampa Bay Buccaneers from 1996 to 2000, they didn’t want their defense on the field for more than 800 snaps in a season. The Bears’ defense has been on the field for more than 1,000 plays in each of Smith’s last six seasons, including the Super Bowl season of 2006.

The same holds true no matter what a team’s defensive scheme is. The more the defense is on the field the less likely it is for the team to score or control the clock. The best time of possession ever logged by a Lovie coached team was in 2005 when the Bears had the ball for about 40 seconds more than the other teams on average. That is not a reason for applause.

If, and this is a big “IF”, Martz can convince Cutler to stop being the entre’ and start being the cutlery, then maybe the Bears can carve out those wins we keep being promised.

CLICK HERE TO GORGE ON TRYPTOPHAN

My head said back the Colts. It issued stat after stat about Manning’s amazing career, multiple comeback games and his, near psychic, ability to read defenses. My heart said back the Saints. It pointed out the many horrors the citizens of New Orleans have faced and the rich history of the region. It also noted that this wasn’t a bad little team if you wanted to hang your hat on one. My ass said, STFU, sit down, grab a beer and just enjoy the game. After all, you have no money you can afford to lose and there is no clear cut choice. I now know that the next time someone calls me a smart ass I will take it as a compliment.

Somewhere between The Who finishing their collection of CSI theme songs and gratuitous shots of fans, I was settling in for a defensive struggle. Neither side had done much offensively and both teams seemed to have a good bead on what the other was thinking. Then, just as my tiny mind agreed to that concept, the Saints opened the second half with an on side kick. The first, non 4th quarter, one in the history of the Superbowl. Just like that it was, as Garth would say, GAME ON!

DAN POMPEII at the Tribune takes a look at the wild second half.

With 1 minute, 55 seconds left in the first half on fourth-and-a-little-over-1 on the goal line, the aggressive Saints coach went for seven in an attempt to tie the score.

Because Colts corner Kelvin Hayden stopped running back Mike Bell for a slight loss on the previous play, the Saints couldn’t run a straight-ahead plunge or a dive with much confidence. They tried a sweep left, and Colts middle linebacker Gary Brackett tackled Pierre Thomas for no gain.

Payton was fortunate his defense forced a three-and-out and the Saints got the ball back with 35 seconds left. Garrett Hartley saved him with a 44-yard field goal at the end of the half.

Hartley was gambler’s insurance. He had three field goals of more than 40 yards — the first time any kicker has done that in a Super Bowl.

Now Payton was on a roll. He started the second half with an onside kick. To understand just how out there this decision was, consider this: It was the first onside kick in a Super Bowl prior to the fourth quarter.

Hank Baskett had a chance to field it for the Colts, but he couldn’t hang on. After a pileup and scrum that seemed to last as long as the Who’s halftime performance, Chris Reis emerged from the crowd with the football for the Saints.

“We’ve (practiced) the onside kick all week and guys executed it well,” Payton said. “When you do something like that you just put it on the players, and they were able to execute. It turned out to be a big change of possession and ended with a score.”

Six plays later, Thomas, the kid from Thornton Fractional South, took a screen pass 16 yards for a touchdown and gave the Saints their first lead of the game at 13-10.

“It was definitely a gutsy call,” Hartley said of the onside kick. “As a player you have to enjoy playing for a coach who puts it in your hands.”

Payton couldn’t walk away from the table just yet though. After Jeremy Shockey caught a 2-yard pass to give the Saints a 22-17 lead, Payton held up two fingers. They were going for two. The call wasn’t as much of a gamble as it appeared though. The cheat sheet that every coach carries in his back pocket advised Payton to do exactly what he did.

The initial ruling was receiver Lance Moore dropped the pass from Most Valuable Player Drew Brees in the front corner of the end zone. But Payton’s decision to challenge the play — and risk losing a timeout — paid off when referee Scott Green ruled Moore crossed the plane of the end zone before dropping the ball and the initial call was overturned.

Even on the play that put away the Colts, Payton and his defensive coordinator Gregg Williams took a chance. After not blitzing Peyton Manning much through the game, the Saints sent the house after Manning on third-and-5.

Manning threw a short pass for Reggie Wayne. Saints corner Tracy Porter knew he didn’t have much help to make the tackle, so he jumped the route, went for the ball, made an interception and returned it 74 yards for a touchdown.

The team, it is often said, takes its personality from its coach. The Saints, then, dared to be great.

Colts players after the game were still stunned by the onside kick. It just isn’t done. I got the sense that, somehow, they felt that the Saints had displayed bad manners. Like drinking beer in church or something. But, the simple fact is that the play is allowed and the Saints ran it flawlessly.

Also, as a side note to the many irate bloggers I have seen this morning, you can not fumble in the end zone. Once the ball crosses the plane the score counts and the play is over. I’m sorry that you didn’t learn that when you were the water bearers at the Pop Warner level (maybe some of you still are), but that is the way it has always been.

Sean Payton refused to let his team give in. He forced them to take risk after risk and you could tell the team was loving it. There was no holding back. Whatever they had they were going to leave on the field. They were not afraid of the Manning mystique, they were not cowed by being the underdogs, they were not overwhelmed by the spectacle surrounding them. Of course, as to the last item, they are from New Orleans; the home of topless women, crawdads and hot sauce. It takes a LOT of spectacle to catch the attention of people from there.

At the end of the game, just because I can be a heartless bastard sometimes, I turned to a buddy of mine who is a die hard Bears’ fan and said, “Now. Just imagine Lovie coaching against either of those teams in a Superbowl.”

He actually cried.

Oh well, it was a heck of a game and no one can take that trophy away from the Saints. Nor should anyone want to. The home of riverboat gamblers finally gambled and won. They earned it.

CLICK HERE TO TELL US IF LOVIE COULD HAVE OUTCOACHED ANYONE YESTERDAY

I was having this really good morning until I opened the paper to the sports section. I was all smiles and sunshine until then. But, one quick scan of the headlines told me all I needed to know. Today is a dark day for Chicago sports’ fans. The clouds will not part, the skies will not open to shades of gladdening azure. The birds are all quiet.

I may be over reacting, but I don’t think so.

Let’s start with the worst news going and work our way down. Less than a week after his agent publicly stated that he had no interest in the job, the Bears hired Rod Marinelli anyway to be their Defensive Coordinator. I am not sure how that worked.

RM: I don’t wanna be the DC.
Lovie: You’ll be sent to bed without your supper.
RM: I don’t care. I don’t wanna be the DC.
Lovie: We’ll take away your clipboard.
RM: NOT MY CLIPBOARD!
Lovie: Yesssssssss.......
RM: (sighing) oh, okay.

Seriously, the best guy for the job was one who turned it down twice in one month? DAVID HAUGH over at the Tribune tries to make sense of it all and fails.

It’s understandable why you wouldn’t endorse the Bears’ promotion Friday of Rod Marinelli to assistant head coach/defensive coordinator a month after he turned down the job. Marinelli’s agent, Frank Bauer, reiterated his client’s reluctance to take on defensive play-calling duties to the Tribune last week at the Senior Bowl. A guy hired to fix a defense shouldn’t have to be talked into the job.

But that’s how badly the job is viewed around the league.

Here’s the description: Stay within the boundaries of the Cover-2 defense. Run everything by a head coach who bristles at the mere suggestion of change defensively. Oh, and find a way to reverse a trend that has been spiraling downward since the Super Bowl three seasons ago — in one year.

What qualified NFL defensive coordinator with experience — what the Bears need — would come under those shaky conditions?

After that one year, there are no guarantees. Lovie Smith’s tenuous job status limited the field of potential defensive coordinators as much as Smith’s stubborn insistence on sticking with the status quo.

Remember when Ted Phillips talked about massive changes back on Jan. 5?

As inspired of a choice as Mike Martz was to run the offense, the selection of Marinelli falls flat. This might even be a bigger risk than Martz will be.

This weakens the Bears’ staff in two key spots. Diverting Marinelli’s attention from the daily chore of coaching defensive linemen takes away one of the league’s best position coaches. Replacing Marinelli with Eric Washington guarantees nothing except the Bears will be trying their fifth defensive line coach of Smith’s tenure.

I am beginning to think that the coaches’ entrance at Halas Hall is a revolving door. While I have to admit that there weren’t a ton of options available, I have to think that there was more than one. Especially when that one did not want the job in the first, or second, place. All this means to fans is that we will suffer through another year of Lovie’s defensive genius being forced down our throats. The, Martz lead, offense may have to score 50 every game just to keep it close.

More good news can be found on the Bulls. With Noah down with a severe heel injury and several other players among he walking wounded, Gar Forman may be forced to trade for someone who can stand upright. Walking and other skills may not be required. The Bulls went down to Georgia last night and fell apart in the fourth quarter so dramatically that they may as well not have played in it. Forget Charlie Daniels while watching this game, fans were chugging Jack Daniels trying to erase the pain.

Back at the Madhouse on Madison, the Hawks looked as though they had lost their contact lenses they spent so much time scanning the ice. Actually, they just looked lost. They should have easily beaten Phoenix. This is not a team that is a contender. It doesn’t help matters when muckrakers can correctly point out that the Hawks haven’t won since they spent the night in a limo with hockey groupies.

A side note here. As someone who has been in the music industry for over 25 years, I can safely say that I have seen godawful cover bands, that couldn’t make it through The Standell’s Dirty Water without screwing it up, score better looking babes than the Hawks found in Vancouver. I have been in bands that had no hope at all and still nailed hotter looking chicks than that. Hell, one night in Ypsilanti Michigan, I wasn’t even in the band and ... oh, wait, never mind. Back to the blog.

The Cubs signed Kevin Millar yesterday. I have lost count but do believe that this signing gives them 14 first basemen, 11 of whom are at the end of their careers. If I’m Derrek Lee I am on the phone to my agent before sunset yesterday. There’s writing on the wall and then there’s a bullhorn in in your face. What other reason could they have for this plethora of first basemen unless the Wonderful Mr. Lee is headed for greener pastures against his will? Anywhere else Lee would be a player that you build around. Here? Not so much so.

Over at the Cell, MLB.com’s very own SCOTT MERKIN took time to interview Brooks Boyer (Sox Chief Marketing Officer) and he admitted that he screwed up the budget projections for the 2009 season. However, since he wasn’t off by much and the team was not unduly burdened with bloated contracts, they were able to work around it. It is a very good read if you have the time. Taking the interview out of context would cause more confusion than anything else, so I won’t clip any of it here.

Actually, all of this makes me wonder; do sportswriters have groupies?

CLICK HERE TO COMPARE GROUPIE STORIES

Before we get to the point of today’s missive, I want to pass along my personal kudos to Carlos Zambrano for his, under the radar, appearance in Arizona this week to begin early training. All accounts say that he has lost weight, put on muscle and is looking like the the pitcher the Cubs were promised lo those many years ago. If, as some are whispering, Big Z is a threat to win 20 games this year, then things might be looking up for the Cubbie Nation. On the South Side, kudos are also deserved, and are hereby delivered, for Freddie Garcia who went to an off season camp and showed up lighter, stronger and with his throwing shoulder completely healed. While he is slated to pitch in the 5 slot, many are saying that he looks more akin to a 3 or 4 pitcher and could win the team an additional 15 games. Considering that the 4 & 5 positions cost the Sox almost 30 games last year, this would be a marked improvement.

Yes, I know that Spring Training is still two weeks away. But, it is cold and blustery outside and I thought a little heartwarming news might be appreciated.

Now, on to the crux of today’s blog. Ron Turner, the mastermind behind the Devin Hester experiment, was hired by the Stanford Cardinals to have something to do with their offense. No official title has been announced. Now, please keep in mind that Hester signed a new contract because of his move to the offense that is predicated on him meeting certain goals as a wide receiver. It seems that Hester would gladly toss that particular piece of paper into the fire and get back on Special Teams. DAN POMPEII of the Tribune has the whole story.

Devin Hester is excited about Mike Martz’s arrival as the Bears’ new offensive coordinator, but said Thursday that he would like to go back to having a bigger kick-return role.

“I would love to get back in that situation with the return game,” Hester told “The Waddle & Silvy Show” on WMVP-AM 1000. “But at the same time, I’m a team player so wherever y’all want me to go, I’m ready to do it.”

Hester hasn’t scored a touchdown on a kick or punt return since 2007 after running back 12 for TDs in 2006 and ‘07, including a kickoff return in Super Bowl XLI. He said becoming a full-time receiver has taken its toll.

“I know what I’m best at,” Hester said. “The return game is my bread and butter, so if I had to cut back on receiving and go back to returns, that’s something I would love to do.”

So, let’s see if we all have this right; Hester wants to be a return specialist, every person on this blog has wanted him out of the offense and back on Special Teams and, judging by the posts on the Bears’ site, the opinion is pretty much unanimous. So, how did he end up being touted as the #1 wide receiver?

Turner.

It was his call, his demand, that Hester use his blazing speed on the offense. Never mind that the guy was a defensive back and return specialist with no coaching at any level to play offense, this is what Turner wanted and Turner got.

And we all saw how well that worked out. So, Good for Devin for speaking up. My guess is that Martz will listen. After all, he has enough on his plate right now without trying to instill a difficult offense into the head of a guy whose head is clearly not in it.

TomD has already started a thread, so CLICK HERE TO CELEBRATE HESTER’S GENIUS.

A lot of blog space has been taken up around the world worrying about head injuries incurred by NFL players. Anecdotal evidence would seem to suggest that they suffer more than their fair share. RICK TELANDER at the Sun Times took some time to interview Alan Schwartz, a legally blind mathematician who has put in several years of study on the effects of head injuries to NFL players. And, after some fun stories about his youth, he gets directly to the crux of the matter. I’ll let him and Rick tell you all about it.

Schwarz’s dogged, smart, mathematically-grounded pursuit of the rising brain trauma and dementia issues in the NFL has put him at the journalistic forefront of the hottest ethical topic in the football world. Nor is it a coincidence that Schwarz is a football outsider, having for 15 years been a writer for ‘’Baseball America.’’ He brought to football a foreigner’s perspective and a logician’s trust in things like batting averages and ERA, equations which can’t be chop-blocked.

In a metaphorical sense, Schwarz entered the football brain debate with an infinite legion of co-workers. Numbers.

‘’I can look at a page of numbers and say, ‘They’re lying,’’’ Schwarz says. ‘’Then I can work backward and see why it’s wrong. Then I can go on to find what the motives of the person who did it might be.’’

Schwarz has now written over the course of three years some 30 articles for the Times on the connection between brain damage and football—and, he insists, it is no longer a connection, but a fact.

The numbers he has looked at from retired players lists and the NFL’s documents and independent researchers like Dr. Ann C. McKee, co-director for the Center for the Study of Traumatic Encephalopathy at Boston University, a specalist who has studied the brains of deceased NFL players, tell him what only people ‘’with no horse in the race’’ seem willing to acknowledge: This is undeniable stuff.

Schwarz’s a-ha! moment regarding the bad math of the league came at the NFL brain trauma summit meeting in Chicago in June 2007.

‘’The fourth deceased player between age 36 and 56 had just been determined to have this incredibly rare condition, chronic traumatic encephalopathy,’’ he says at the Greater Fort Lauderdale Convention Center. ‘’CTE. You get it from head trauma, no other way.’’

‘You don’t need more data’

According to Dr. McKee, who has seen 12 football players’ brain slices under the microscope, all of which showed signs of CTE, it is essentially nonexistent for those who haven’t been battered. In an interview she tells me that other similarly damaged brains she has studied include ‘’a boxer, an epileptic with seizures, two people who were developmentally impaired—head-bangers—a wrestler, physically-abused wife, a circus clown shot from a cannon.’’

Schwarz made his point to NFL medical representatives that such statistics were irrefutable evidence of the football/dementia connection. He grimaces when he relates their response. ‘’’That’s only four guys,’ they said. ‘We need more data.’’’

This nearly drove formula-man Schwarz batty.

‘’But you don’t need more data,’’ he nearly shouts as we eat lunch outside the media work room. ‘’I know probability! A million-to-one shot doesn’t come up four times in a row. Not on a roulette wheel. Not anywhere. I knew they were wrong.’’

NFL commissioner Roger Goodell even asked Schwarz: ‘’How do you know they did this from football and not swimming?’’

Schwarz sighs now. ‘’OK, each one can be explained away individually. But not collectively. No. Way.’’

Put it this way, for the visually inspired, I put four straw colored needles in a 3 foot high hay stack and you, lucky reader, grab only the four needles and never any hay. And you do that every attempt. That should give you an idea of how unlikely it is that that many cases of CTE showed up in such a small sample.

What is galling to Schwartz is what is galling to all of us up here; the NFL is lying. And lying consistently just to cover their collective asses. I guess they have their heads so far up theirs that they do not see the need for any special padding. They have plenty and that is all that matters.

More importantly is the fact that men are dying very young, as noted by the age ranges above (36 to 56), and their families are being denied husbands, fathers, uncles and so on just because of a game. Granted, a wildly popular and profitable game, but it is still just a game.

With the amount of money the NFL takes in each year, there is no valid reason for them not to be more proactive about this. As to the apologists who insist that the players “man up” and just deal with it, allow me to introduce my little silver hammer to your head a few times so you can think more clearly.

CLICK HERE TO WRAP YOUR HEAD AROUND IT ALL

Joakim Noah, Taj Gibson and Brad Miller are all ailing. Noah and Gibson are suffering through plantar fasciitis and Miller has a balky knee. First off, a little background on the disease of the week. Courtesy of Wikipedia.

Plantar fasciitis is a painful inflammatory process of the plantar fascia. Longstanding cases of plantar fasciitis often demonstrate more degenerative changes than inflammatory changes, in which case they are termed plantar fasciosis.[1] The plantar fascia is a thick fibrous band of tissue originating on the bottom surface of the calcaneus (heel bone) and extending along the sole of the foot towards the five toes. It has been reported that plantar fasciitis occurs in two million Americans a year and 10% of the population over a lifetime.[2] It is commonly associated with long periods of work-related weight bearing. Among non-athletic populations, it is associated with a high body mass index.[3] The pain is usually felt on the underside of the heel and is often most intense with the first steps of the day. Another symptom is that the sufferer has difficulty bending the foot so that the toes are brought toward the shin (decreased dorsiflexion of the ankle). A symptom commonly recognized among sufferers of plantar fasciitis is increased probability of knee pains, especially among runners.

When I suffered through it, the cure was easy. Two months of rest and keep it well taped. Anything involving rest is doable by me. You would be amazed at how relaxed you can stay at a local watering hole. However, professional athletes do not have that luxury mid season.

Anyway, as I noted above, the Bulls have two players tormented by their feet and one with a knee that sends occasional shooting pains up the back of his leg to remind himself that he still has that particular knee. Kind of like a rude hello.

Nevertheless, the Bulls took the court against the woeful Los Angeles Clippers last night and proceeded to hobble around like crippled old men. JOHN JACKSON over at the Sun Times was kind enough to fill in the details.

After building momentum and confidence by winning the final five games of a tough seven-game road trip (all against above-.500 teams), the Bulls laid an egg in their homecoming Tuesday by dropping a 90-82 decision to the Los Angeles Clippers at the United Center.

Just about everything the Bulls did well on the trip, they couldn’t replicate at home.

The performance was a reality check for anyone who thought the road streak was a sign the young Bulls had turned a corner and would be consistent for the rest of the season.

‘’We were sluggish from the get-go,’’ Bulls coach Vinny Del Negro said. ‘’We got back into too much holding of the ball—our ball movement wasn’t good enough—and we didn’t make any shots. We held them to 90 points, 45 percent shooting, but we didn’t put enough pressure on them offensively.’’

The Bulls (23-23) didn’t play well on either end, but the most glaring difference was on offense. After making nearly half of their shots during the winning streak, the Bulls were 30-for-79 (38 percent) from the field and committed 20 turnovers.

Maybe the Clippers (21-27) just have a magic spell over the Bulls. The Bulls also lost to them in the game before the winning streak began.

‘’It was just one of those nights,’’ said point guard Derrick Rose, who scored 16 points on 7-for-20 shooting. ‘’I couldn’t hit nothing. I can laugh about it now because I have confidence I’ll come back.’’

Improved shooting was a major part of the Bulls’ road winning streak. In the five games, the Bulls averaged 104.2 points on 49.4 percent shooting—a dramatic improvement on their numbers for the entire season (95.6 points on 44.2 percent shooting).

But aside from forward Luol Deng (team-high 18 points), no one with a Bulls jersey could hit a shot. Deng scored the Bulls’ first 12 points in sparking them to a 12-8 lead less than four minutes into the game.

But Deng cooled off, and the Clippers—behind guard Eric Gordon (24 points) and center Chris Kaman (21)—got hot. They used a 16-4 run to open a 24-16 lead and had a 31-26 edge after the first quarter.

The Bulls pulled to 33-32 early in the second quarter, and the score was tight for the rest of the half. But the Bulls were unable to regain the lead. The Clippers used a 7-2 spurt for a 50-42 halftime lead.

Things didn’t get any better for the Bulls in the third quarter. In fact, things got worse. With the shots not falling, they became tentative offensively, hesitating sometimes and rushing other times. The result was a host of missed shots and turnovers.

Oh boy was it ever. Watching basketballs cascade like psychotic pinballs was entertaining, in the same manner as watching a car wreck is, but was not really conducive to a quality game.

Like Rose, I am going to chalk this up to one of those days and move on. There isn’t any other option as far as I can tell.

That being said, this team needs to get healthy and do so quickly. When they are all upright and functioning at 100%, or close enough not to matter, they are a force on the floor. When not, well, they tend to make the Clippers look good.

CLICK HERE TO STEP OVER THE MESS.

The Bears finally got the approval of Jay Cutler to hire an Offensive Coordinator. Despite claims that Mike Martz and Jay Cutler became instant BFFs and soul mates, one has to wonder how two Alpha Males are going to coincide under bland leadership of Lovie Gump (TM). If, as a friend of mine contends, the Bears are hiring people to purposely remove Lovie from any duties other than press conferences and the occasional charity function, then I am all for it. One thing is for certain, the offense the Bears trot out next year is going to be wildly different from anything ever seen in Chicago.

Now, as to whether or not the vaunted Martz’ offense will work with the players he inherited is something we will all discover together. NEIL HAYES at the Sun Times takes a look at the Nashville meeting between the Bears mecurial QB and the high voltage Martz.

The two had dinner together Saturday night in Nashville, Tenn., and Martz said there was an ‘’instant connection.’’

‘’He asked a question about a wide receiver’s splits that stopped me dead in my tracks,’’ Martz said. ‘’It just showed that he is so far ahead. Quarterbacks don’t generally ask that.’’

Martz also said he was intrigued about what he has seen from the Bears’ receiving corps.

‘’There’s plenty of talent there,’’ he said. ‘’I’m real excited about the speed.’’

Martz’s offense led the league in points, yards and passing yards three times during the seven years he was either the Rams’ offensive coordinator or head coach.

He continued to make an immediate impact in each of his last two coaching stops. The 49ers, for example, ranked 32nd in the NFL in both scoring and yards gained in 2007 before Martz arrived. The next season, despite mediocre quarterback play from Shaun Hill and J.T. O’Sullivan, those rankings rose to 22nd and 23rd. It was the same with the Lions, who ranked 28th and 27th in those categories in 2005. Those numbers improved to 21st and 22nd in Martz’s first season, and 16th and 19th the next.

The Bears finished 19th and 23rd in points and yards last season while Cutler threw a league-high 26 interceptions.

‘’[Martz is] tough,’’ Vermeil said. ‘’The quarterback has to have some substance to him. But he’ll make him the best he has ever been.’’

For all the flak Smith has taken during this drawn-out process, it’s difficult to argue with the credentials of the two assistants he has hired. He landed Mike Tice, one of the most respected offensive line coaches in the NFL, and Martz, whose resume may be unmatched.

That means the Bears now have four current or former NFL head coaches on their staff. If all these egos and personalities come together, and if general manager Jerry Angelo can fit the right personnel in the right spots, the Bears’ could be new and improved next season.

‘’We wanted to be something different than what we were,’’ Angelo said, ‘’and we just felt after going through the process that Mike really presented what we considered the best plan for us.’’

Angelo and Smith emphasized they were both in favor of hiring Martz despite sources indicating that Martz might not have been Angelo’s first choice.

‘’I was 100 percent on-board with Lovie’s decision and for the right reasons,’’ Angelo said. ‘’We wanted to make a change, and Mike Martz brings change to our coaching style.’’

Although his offense hasn’t usually emphasized receptions from the tight end, Martz said he will use Greg Olsen to create mismatches against safeties and linebackers.

And Smith stressed the Bears won’t ditch the run under Martz.

‘’When I say get off the bus running the football, I mean that is a mind-set,’’ Smith said. ‘’The run will always be a part of what we’re going to do. [We play in] Chicago, we play in the elements. That won’t change. But there’s nothing wrong with being able to run the football well and having balance to be able to pass the football. That’s what I’m excited about.’’

Ah yes, the legendary Bears’ running game that we have heard so much about. Haven’t seen it very much over the last couple of years, but boy oh boy do we hear about it.  There is one element that kind of scares me, however. Martz’ offense requires smart players. There have long been rumors that some, such as Devin Hester, couldn’t get out of a paper bag with a machete. I can just imagine the fun Martz will have as some players wander through routes as though they were rats in a cheese-less maze.

To be blunt though, at this point, I don’t think Bears’ fans would care if the entire offense was predicated on paisley clad polka dancers as long as it scored points and kept the defense on the bench.

Which brings up round 2 of the ongoing saga that continues to emanate from Halas Hall. Who will lead that sitting defense?

There isn’t really a long list of available Defensive Coordinators who inspire awe. Or confidence.

But, that is a drama for later. For now, the Bears have clearly switched directions which, as any fan will tell you, is an automatic upgrade. More simply, since anyone other than Ron Turner would have been an upgrade, the fact that Martz brings some tangible skills to the position is just icing on the cake.

Yes, I am living in the land of mixed metaphors today. Just go with it.

Our very own UncleLar has already started a thread, so CLICK HERE TO COUNT DOWN TO VICTORY!

There are days that, somehow, cause you to doubt the veracity of the intelligence claims of the masses. Today is one such day. The reason I say that is, aside from those needy drooling types who invariably end up on Maury, you don’t expect adults to be this stupid. But, they are. Let’s start with the most immediate one. Alleged future Bears coach, Mike Martz, was sent by the Bears to Nashville to meet with Jay Cutler.

No. Really. The coach is being forced to get the permission of the quarterback to coach him. If NFL meant National Federation of Laughingstocks, then the Bears would win the Superbowl every year. DAVID HAUGH at the Tribune managed to stop laughing long enough to write it all down.

Before Mike Martz entered a Nashville restaurant Saturday night to meet Jay Cutler, he must have felt a little like the guy proposing on the JumboTron.

What if he hears no?

That’s the ridiculously awkward position the Bears put Martz in by dispatching him to go see Cutler rather than bringing the quarterback to Chicago. Jerry Angelo and Lovie Smith had all month to arrange a meeting between Martz and Cutler in a more appropriate manner and setting and came up with something contrived out of FootballMatch.com.

Compatibility with Cutler surely matters for the next offensive coordinator, so, granted, it was a good idea for the two strong personalities to meet. But not in a way that ultimately makes Martz look needy and Cutler appear controlling.

If Smith vouched for Martz, his longtime friend, that should have been good enough for Cutler without having to hear a 58-year-old NFL offensive wizard prove he’s smart enough over a steak. Heck, all the Bears really had to do was FedEx Kurt Warner’s football card to Tennessee to give Cutler all he needed to know about ways Martz can make him a better quarterback.

Smith likes to say the Bears used to get off the bus running. True or not, after Saturday we will think they get off the bus running the organization however Cutler wants.

Eventually we may learn Martz welcomed the opportunity to head into Cutler Country as a way of showing Angelo and any other skeptics how he can sublimate his considerable ego. But this was overkilling Cutler with kindness.

This wasn’t Vikings coach Brad Childress leaving practice to pick up Brett Favre from the Minneapolis airport during training camp last August. This was a more obvious bow.

Bow? No, this was a guy wearing kneepads begging to be a groupie. This was pathetic. How in the hell did the general manager and left over coach (thanks for that term, Steve) ever think that this was a good idea? Is there some vortex over the airport in Nashville that prevents outgoing flights? Is Cutler so poor that he doesn’t have a cell phone? Or, is this a situation wherein Cutler’s throne is too heavy for normal transportation and time constraints forced the issue? If Martz is the answer, then why not hire him and then arrange a meeting? Sadly, if this is emblematic of how the Bears plan on running things, and I think it is, then I see a lot of ice fishing in fans’ future.

I may even get bored enough to catch up on some housecleaning.

On an equally stupid note, albeit of a different variety, CAROL SLEZAK at the Sun Times found out that bald sexism is alive and well when it comes to girls playing sports.

Occasionally, I hear something that makes me check a calendar. As in, this is 2010, isn’t it? As opposed to, say, 1970? Such was the case recently when an e-mail from a man named John Kovach found its way to me. Kovach wrote that he has successfully consulted ‘’in 50 cases the past few years involving girls who were originally told they could not play baseball in youth or school programs.’’ Say what? Didn’t we settle this issue decades ago?

We did, of course. Under Title IX and various civil-rights laws, schools and parks and recreation departments are prohibited from denying girls the chance to play baseball. But there’s a big difference between legal change and cultural change. Too often, girls still are forced to jump through hoops, up to and including taking legal action, just to play. To think they call it the national pastime.

Kovach, who has three daughters, believes girls should be afforded the same baseball opportunities as boys. By day an archivist at St. Mary’s College in Notre Dame, Ind., he also heads up the South Bend Blue Sox, an organization dedicated to girls baseball.

‘’I just think that anyone who wants to play baseball should be able to,’’ he said.

A few years ago, Kovach filed a complaint with the Indiana Civil Rights Commission after his daughter Irina, then 12, was told she couldn’t join a local boys baseball league. By the time the case was decided last December in her favor, she was too old to play.

‘’I’ve heard similar stories from all over the country,’’ Kovach said.

Why does everything have to be so darn difficult?

Little League was forced to open its doors to girls in the 1970s. But girls still have to join a boys team to play. Yes, Little League offers a softball league for girls. But softball is not the same as baseball. Softball uses a bigger ball and plays on a smaller field. Softball pitchers must throw underhanded. Little League recognizes that softball and baseball are different sports. In 2000, it created a boys-only softball league. But it still hasn’t created a girls-only baseball league. Where’s the fairness?

I’m not trying to pick on Little League, although the organization does seem to go out of its way to accommodate boys. Girls face similar obstacles with recreational leagues and school leagues. They must either join a boys team or play softball instead. It’s true that many girls like softball. But do they even know what they’re missing? Most girls never have played competitive baseball. There are too many barriers in their way.

Kovach has found that one of the most common reasons officials give for barring girls from baseball is the mistaken belief that softball provides an equal opportunity. Kovach wonders how many girls accept the decision because they’re unaware of their rights.

‘’It’s the same [excuses] over and over,’’ he said. ‘’Sometimes I want to bang my head.’’

He’s not the only one. Several posters up here have voiced similar concerns. From fathers who want their daughters to play the game they all love to regular people who can find no logical reason for girls to be excluded from baseball. It isn’t like they are asking to be interior linepersons in the NFL. They just want to catch and throw the ball and play the game they’ve played with their friends and families for years.

And, please, spare me that sanctimonious crap about how girls aren’t strong enough to hit home runs. Neither is Juan Pierre and he seems to do okay. If a girl can throw a softball at 90 mph, underhanded, I am sure she can throw a baseball at similar speeds. For those who whimper about how girls are a little slower than guys when it comes to running, I ask how many stolen bases Jim Thome got last year? His career seems to have done okay.

When you strip away the neantherdal attitudes and blatant sexism, you find yourself without any legitimate excuses to keep girls out of baseball. If that is the lifeboat you want to cling to, then you are stupid enough to be worthy of sinking.

CLICK HERE TO HELP STAMP OUT STUPID

We have been talking in the blogs about how long it has been since the Bulls won 5 in a row on the road. We have members who are deeply unimpressed with Joakim Noah even though he continues to rank as one of the top 4 centers in the NBA. There are those here who think that Vinny Del Negro would better serve the mighty game of basketball by becoming a waiter in a psuedo-trendy Italian cafe. Preferably one that takes American Express. There are those who think that Gar is a stupid name for a human being since it is such an ugly fish. Clearly, anyone so poorly christened must be a disaster waiting to happen.

And yet .....

I’ll let JOHN JACKSON at the Sun Times fill in the rest of that sentence fragment.

After 13 days, eight flights, seven games, three time zones and a host of bus rides, the Bulls finally arrived home early Saturday. Forward Luol Deng no doubt summed up the feelings of everyone in the team’s traveling party.

‘’I haven’t missed home as much as I have this trip,’’ Deng said. ‘’I don’t know why, but I’m just looking forward to going home.’’

But after dropping the first two games against teams with losing records, the Bulls bounced back with five victories in a row against teams with winning records in the tough Western Conference.

It’s the first time the Bulls have won five consecutive games on the same road trip since 1997. According to ESPN, it’s the first time in NBA history a team has won five road games in a row against teams with winning records.

That type of road success would be impressive for a title contender. It’s downright mind-boggling for a developing team that until recently struggled to win away from home.

‘’Hopefully, there’s some growth there in the development of the players,’’ Bulls coach Vinny Del Negro said. ‘’Like I’ve always said, players win games. They made the plays when we had to, and I’m proud of them for that.’’

Since dropping to 10-17 a little more than a month ago, the Bulls have gone 13-5 to improve to 23-22. It’s the first time they’ve been above .500 since mid-November.

Although point guard Derrick Rose has stepped up and is playing at a level worthy of an All-Star berth, the Bulls’ success has been a team effort. Joakim Noah has battled injury to keep registering double-doubles, Kirk Hinrich and John Salmons are playing well alongside Rose, Deng is providing scoring and rebounding and Brad Miller suddenly has come to life to perform like he did down the stretch last season.

‘’We’re not surprised at our turnaround,’’ Rose said after the Bulls rallied for a 108-106 overtime victory Friday against the New Orleans Hornets. ‘’We’re playing good basketball, hanging in there throughout the whole game. We’re sticking with tough teams that are usually over .500.’’

And showing remarkable mental toughness, especially for a team that usually wilted under pressure early in the season.

Keep in mind that this team was subjected to Kirk Hinrich’s, ill conceived, experiment entitled HOW TO POISON ALL YOUR TEAMMATES IN ONE DAY OR LESS to start this trip. They were further hampered by several injuries including Noah’s balky heel that hurt so bad he pulled himself out of a game just prior to tip off.

And yet ....

They just kept winning.

While I am a fan of this team, and an unabashed supporter of its coach, had you told me a month ago that this team would set an NBA record for the most consecutive wins against teams with winning records, I would have personally taken you to get your meds upped. Dramatically.

And yet ...

That is exactly what they did.

This team has suffered through more than its fair share of adversity this season but not once has a player complained. Not once has the coach used any of it as an excuse. Nor has he thrown anyone under the proverbial, and ubiquitous, bus. And, trust me on this one, each and every one of them has had a valid opportunity to do so. That is why I like this team and its coach. They do not air any gripes or grievances. They deal with whatever needs to be dealt with in the locker room and not in the tabloids.

People tend to forget that this team, and its coach, gave the Boston Celtics a run for their lives in the playoffs last year. It is widely considered one of the best NBA playoff series ever seen. If they can get to a higher seed this year, and not draw the #1 team in the nation right out of the box, then who’s to say that this team can’t go deep in the playoffs?

Assuming that Hinrich doesn’t try another experiment, that is.

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For the first time in my life, that famous quote from Dave Wannstedt has an actual, real world, use. Bonus? It has nothing to do with the Bears. There is no way I could write about Chicago’s pro football franchise on a nice day like today. It isn’t fair to our faithful readers to force them to chug Draino to get that horrid taste out of their minds.

Instead, I am going to take a look at the two baseball teams that grace our fair metropolis. Since the Cubs have finally added their last piece of the puzzle by signing Xavier Nady III to a one year deal, and he passed the physical well enough to make the team, we’ll start there. ANDREW McCALVY of MLB.com has the 411.

The Cubs’ newest outfielder underwent an all-day physical exam at Chicago’s Northwestern Memorial Hospital on Thursday in which doctors paid particular attention to his twice-surgically-repaired right elbow. Nady, 31, is not quite seven months removed from his second Tommy John reconstruction, and Cubs general manager Jim Hendry conceded that there remains a chance that Nady will be limited somewhat defensively at the start of the season.

That didn’t stop the club from committing to a deal that, according to The Associated Press, guarantees Nady $3.3 million and has $2.05 million more available in incentives for games played.

Hendry expects Nady to be on the Cubs’ Opening Day roster even if he remains under throwing restrictions at that time.

“First and foremost, he’s going to be paid to knock in runs,” Hendry said in a conference call that included Nady and agent Scott Boras. “We’ll see how the throwing program goes in the next two months and if ‘X’ is limited throwing at the full-throttle level on April 1, we’re not going to tax him.

“But we’re certainly counting on the bat as he grows into more and more playing time as his arm gets stronger. There’s no way to predict when that throwing will be 90 percent or 100 percent, but he’s on the path.”

Hendry referred to Nady as an “everyday, legitimate five-hole hitter,” but Nady would have to displace another Cubs outfielder to land that role. For now, the Cubs projected starters from left to right field are Alfonso Soriano, Marlon Byrd and Kosuke Fukudome.

A right-field pairing with Fukudome, a left-handed hitter, could be particularly productive. Fukudome has a .798 on-base plus slugging percentage against right-handed pitchers in his brief tenure in the Major Leagues, 112 points higher than his OPS against lefties, and he has hit 20 of his 21 home runs against righties. Nady has a career .854 OPS against left-handed pitchers, 85 points higher than his mark against righties.

Health, Nady said, will help dictate his role with the Cubs.

“The arm’s been doing well,” he said. “It’s progressing each week, and I’ll continue to do my throwing program for the next two and a half months. When the season rolls around, we’ll have to take a look at everything to see where I’m at. ...

“I’m coming in to compete for an everyday job, and that’s the way my mindset has to be. That’s how I’ve always done it.”

Useless trivia section; Xavier is the first Cubs player ever to have a name that begins with X. Make of that what you will.

Nevertheless, the two Chicago teams are embarking on very clearly defined philosophies. The Cubs are going to be built around hitting and some pitching. Actually, with Lilly on the mend, they are going to spend that first month of the season almost totally reliant on hitting. It could make for some fun, high scoring games. If you draw the Cubs or their opponents in your 13 run pool you stand a better chance of winning than most others. At least in April. Maybe the first week of May as well.

On the South Side, they are looking to try something a little different. This year’s model is built entirely around pitching, defense and speed. As Ozzie said in 2005, “We only have to score one more run than the other guys.” It seemed to work okay for him then so I am left to wonder why they didn’t get back to this sooner? Oh well, this is probably not the team you want to draw in the 13 run pool. Even so, the man the Sox hope epitomizes this ‘run like hell’ offense, Juan Pierre, has finally selected his uniform number. Yes, kids, he is our new “One Dog.” SCOTT MERKIN, also from MLB.com, tells the story better than I would so I’ll turn the page over to him for a minute.

His name is Lance Johnson.

But to White Sox fans, he simply is known as “One Dog.”

Ken “Hawk” Harrelson, the team’s venerable and popular television play-by-play announcer, bestowed that nickname upon the man who proudly wore jersey No. 1 from 1988-95 on the South Side of Chicago and also spent plenty of time at the top of the White Sox lineup. That number will be featured during the 2010 campaign on the back of Juan Pierre, the latest to climb to the first spot of the White Sox attack.

Pierre has worn jersey No. 9 in the past, but with that number retired by the White Sox in honor of Minnie Minoso, he had to look elsewhere. So, Pierre decided to pay tribute to Johnson, who has directly helped Pierre get to the point of Major League leadoff success where he presently finds himself.

Both Pierre and Johnson attended the University of South Alabama, and Johnson often returned to work out with the collegiate team. Johnson, in turn, became a mentor to Pierre.

“You have to realize I actually trained Juan and gave him the road map to the big leagues. I taught him my inner-most secrets,” said Johnson with a smile, speaking during his SoxFest appearance last weekend. “I’m excited to see he’s here and wearing my number.”

“He always preached being a leadoff hitter, not a leadoff man,” said Pierre, sharing words of wisdom at SoxFest from the 5-11, 160-pound Johnson, who regularly used a 35-ounce or 40-ounce bat. “You are not up there just trying to walk, but you should try to do damage. He took his walks, but he made his point clear about being a leadoff hitter, getting on base anyway you can and hitting the ball hard.”

Over his 14 big league seasons, the left-handed-hitting Johnson drew a mere 352 walks but also struck out just 384 times in 5,800 plate appearances. In Pierre’s 10 seasons, the left-handed hitter has 340 walks and 337 strikeouts in 6,064 plate appearances.

See a pattern forming? Johnson finished with a .334 on-base percentage and 327 stolen bases in 432 attempts, while Pierre enters 2010 with a .348 on-base percentage and 459 stolen bases in 614 attempts. Not exactly prototypical on-base numbers for a No. 1 hitter, but Johnson and Pierre know how to jump-start an offense and not only set up the hitters behind them but also set up the opposing starting pitchers.

The leadoff hitter’s craft was explained by Johnson.

“There’s more to it than getting on base,” Johnson said. “You have to be so disruptive that the pitcher will end up hanging pitches to your meat hitters. I would make them worry about me so they are hanging pitches and Frank [Thomas] could bang them out. There were a lot of three-run homers when I was on base, because they were worried about me.

“Not only that, you have to be able to keep your power hitters hot, too. With Frank, OK, when he was struggling, he loves me to death because guess what? I was stealing second and third and then he would come up and get out and still get an RBI. It would help him get hot with the free RBIs.

“When you have a leadoff man taking care of you all the time, he should hit over .300,” Johnson said. “The leadoff men, they don’t get paid like the big guys, but it’s all good. That’s your job.”

Who knew there was actually a description of what a lead off hitter was supposed to do? Oh, okay, I did, but it was nice of him to say it all anyway for the benefit of everyone else.

Anyway, both teams seem to have the pieces their respective managers wanted, so it will be up to the players now to make them look like the geniuses we all know they are.

Quick update here; big ups to the Bulls who won their fifth in a row last night by beating the Hornets 108-106 in overtime on the road and, this just in.... Jay Cutler has turned down the Bears request to be interviewed for the vacant OC position. Rumor has it that he does not want his reputation tarnished by the starting quarterback. Thanks to Tyrone for that gem.

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Just to keep things officially up to date, Pittsburgh University OC, Frank Cignetti Jr., turned down the Bears’ job before he was actually asked. Simply put, in less than 7 days we have seen two coaches, Jackson and Cignetti, who would prefer to work for Al Davis and Dave Wannstedt, respectively. How freaking lame is that? Working for one guy who is a few fries short of a Happy Meal or one who had to escape the NFL so that all his pieces could finally be in place are the preferred bosses for a professional coach?

I was speaking with a gentleman I know, who helps people enjoy the thrill of the occasional - strictly for entertainment purposes - sports wager. When I mentioned to him that I thought the Bears could end up being the only NFL team without coordinators, he refused to take the bet. He added that anyone who would want this job is like a politician. That is from the old Will Rogers’ saw which states that anyone who wants to be president is automatically the one person who shouldn’t.

I clarified that just in case you aren’t as up to date on your turn of the last century American humor as you might wish to be.

Nevertheless, neither of us could come up with a viable candidate for either coordinator position. And we did actually try. Over at the Tribune, DAVID HAUGH seems to be having similar thoughts.

See? I told you that the local papers were secretly taping my conversations. It’s not being paranoid when you’re right. Anyway, I’ll let David fill you in.

Mockery accomplishes as little as the Bears have in January. By now most of the jokes about their coaching searches are as dated as Jerry Angelo’s Rolodex anyway.

So mocking the Bears again would be like making fun of General Motors for manufacturing cars. Just accept that the Bears produce frustration as a matter of course.

More than anybody, they created the anxiety surrounding the futile, 24-days-and-counting process of finding new offensive and defensive coordinators.

If either Lovie Smith or Angelo simply had stated how determined he was to find capable replacements on the day the Bears announced big changes, then the rest of Chicago wouldn’t have started playing “Gotcha.’’ Instead, a roomful of reporters and a city full of knowledgeable fans rolled their eyes as Smith and Angelo made coaching on the Bears’ staff sound as enticing as being a limo driver in Vancouver.

The coach and the GM scoffed at the notion that coaches might worry about Smith’s status beyond 2010. Smith displayed the urgency of a window-shopper. Angelo used the word “bevy’’ to describe the number of coaches who would be interested. I looked up bevy. It’s not a synonym for zilch.

The result of their bluster made the tick of the search’s clock louder and put a disproportionate amount of attention on coaching vacancies that don’t matter to the offseason as much as roster holes. If you think the Bears have stumbled finding guys to call plays, wait until they start trying to find guys to make them.

Even the brightest of play-callers would struggle looking smart calling plays for an offensive line this iffy and play-making talent this ordinary.

That reality makes it easier to withhold judgment on how successful the Bears were in finding an offensive coordinator until they find one. Don’t confuse criticism of the process with criticism of the ultimate choice — those opinions might vary wildly if the Bears somehow wind up with the right guy.

Believe it or not, they still could.

As the Bears refocus in the fourth week of the search, the first thing they need to do is to send Jay Cutler on vacation. Involving Cutler in the interview process sounded like a good idea — especially when the first candidate contacted was Cutler’s buddy, Jeremy Bates. But the Bears’ asking questions about the relationship between Cutler and Bates may have contributed to Bates canceling his interview, according to people familiar with his motives.

Does Cutler’s opinion of Mike Martz, whatever it is, have anything to do with the Bears keeping the most proven candidate at bay? It’s a fair question that has come up around the league and probably would not have been asked if Cutler had been on a beach somewhere.

Cutler didn’t have anything to do with Rob Chudzinksi preferring the Chargers or Hue Jackson taking a job with the Raiders in his hometown. But the Bears aren’t doing Cutler’s reputation any favors when they include him on the welcoming committee, as the Tribune’s reporting at the Senior Bowl in Mobile, Ala., indicated.

The longer Cutler vets offensive coordinator candidates, the deeper the league-wide perception becomes that the tail wags the Bear in Chicago.

I am sure that there is more wrong with the Bears’ search than just Cutler hanging around and handing out coffee. But, perception is everything in an image conscious league. I couldn’t believe he was involved in the first meeting and see no reason for him to be in any others. Think of it this way, you go to interview for an upper level management job and the janitor is there asking you for your take on tertiary marketing as it relates to the American socio-economic condition. Or, maybe more accurately, if you prefer Draino or carbonated baking soda when dealing with clogs. Either way, even if you are on food stamps, you would balk at working there.

The Bears have, thus far, managed to look like they are the stupid, being lead by the blind, through a field of razor blades. That is not the best way to find your destination.

It is also a lousy way to meet bears in the wild. Just trust me on this one.

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Massive outbreak of the flu? Check. Severely injured heel on main starter? Check. A bunch of other really good reasons for a team to go in the tank? You betcha! And yet, despite incurring all of the above, the Bulls keep winning. On the toughest road trip of the season the Bulls are guaranteed a winning record on this trip for the first time in .... well, in a very long time. My ad hoc Vinny Del Negro fan club isn’t quite bursting at the seams, but it is not dwindling either. A Chicago Tribune poll currently shows that almost 80% of respondents like what Vinny is doing. How can that possibly be with a team that looked more likely to emerge from a clown car each day and not some souped up hot rod that is blowing people away? Beats me. Just like the Bulls are beating everyone else.

Something somewhere clicked. Against 4 playoff eligible teams the Bulls have rolled on and on as though no one told them that they were a bunch of losers. Or, maybe someone did and it pissed them off. Given that their newfound aggressiveness comes directly after being embarrassed by the Lakers, I am thinking that the latter is your best bet. BRIAN HAMILTON (Tribune) gets his cherry popped by appearing for the first time on our front page. He also does a really good job of helping us figure out this dramatic turn around.

Brad Miller moved toward the Bulls bench with all four limbs seeming to act independently, herking and jerking everywhere. It was a moment of celebratory dance improvisation that looked more like someone drowning in a moat.

Miller’s teammates, however, betrayed no signs that they were impressed with themselves at this fourth-quarter timeout at the Ford Center. It was all blank stares and no smiles. It was a group that saw an improbable fourth straight road victory somehow as an entirely reasonable outcome.

And the eventual 96-86 triumph Wednesday night over the Thunder was no random happenstance, not with a defensive lockdown to start the fourth quarter and more assassin-like plays from Derrick Rose at the end to push the suddenly formidable Bulls (22-22) to .500 for the first time since Nov. 21.

“It’s definitely looking up,” Bulls forward Joakim Noah said. “I remember last month, it was almost like a disaster. It’s all about confidence. And winning basketball games on the road builds confidence.”

Actually, it was almost a disaster last week, when this seven-game trip opened with two deflating losses.

But the transformation has been blindingly swift.

Much like it was Wednesday night, actually. The Thunder bolted to 61.9 percent shooting in the first quarter. But the Bulls settled into a defensive rhythm and allowed 28.6 percent efficiency (18 of 63) the rest of the way, while also making Kevin Durant labor through 7 of 19 shooting to collect his 28 points.

The critical stretch, though, was the defining one. Up two points entering the fourth quarter, the Bulls held the Thunder without a field goal for the first eight minutes of the final period. A simultaneous 17-6 Bulls run produced a 13-point lead.

And when the Thunder rallied, Rose poured it on, amassing 12 fourth-quarter points — scoring two momentum-busting buckets and assisting on a third in the last two minutes.

“That’s when my team looks to me to pick up my game,” said Rose, who led the Bulls with 26 points. “Now I’m the guy who’s going to take the shot or get people open. I’m getting used to it.”

The Bulls, defying expectation and explanation, are getting used to the winning.

Yes they are. And, more importantly, they are slowly, but surely, securing the 8th seed in the Eastern Division for the playoffs. If they keep up this run they could easily move up a couple of spots and ensure that they wouldn’t have to face a #1 seed right off. In other words, things are moving in the right direction.

I realize that a four game winning streak is not the panacea to a rough season, but the Bulls seem to be turning this rod around at the right time. There is still plenty of season left and, with them now at .500, a good chance for them to start putting some rear view room between them and the competition.

Oh, the pic? It was a toss up between a shot of Joakim Noah in action or a half naked, politically incorrect, woman. Need I say more?

Our second favorite fan of 4:20, The Chronek, has already started a thread, so CLICK HERE TO JOIN THE FUN!

Normally I start these blogs with a long winded diatribe about how my day has been going, maybe a funny joke or two and some general thoughts about the point of the day’s musings. Any of those would pale in comparison to the fetid wasteland that is Halas Hall today, so I am just going to let RICK MORRISSEY from the Sun Times tell you all about it.

The Raiders. The Oakland Raiders. The Raiders who finished 5-11 last season and had one of the worst offenses in the NFL.

The Raiders who still haven’t announced whether their coach will be back in 2010 for the last year of his contract.

Hue Jackson picked those Raiders over your Chicago Bears. He took the job as Oakland’s offensive coordinator before the outfit in Lake Forest even had a chance to interview him.

How low can the Bears go?

Jackson is a quarterbacks coach who has two one-year stints as an NFL coordinator under his belt and whose background is primarily as a wide receiver and running backs coach.

That’s the guy the Bears wanted to talk with about running their offense and tutoring Jay Cutler.

And that’s the guy who saw a better opportunity in working with Raiders quarterback JaMarcus Russell.

That’s the JaMarcus Russell who was benched for four of the Raiders’ last seven games and is on the road to Bustville.

Goodness gracious.

Just how far down have the Bears gotten on their list of prospective offensive coordinators? Have they reached out to Lady Gaga yet?

Or how about Seattle Sutton? Drew Peterson? Peter Francis Geraci? The cast of “Jersey Shore’’? Karl Rove and Rahm Emanuel? The Bears should leave no stone unturned.

Jackson, who was the quarterbacks coach for the Ravens, was scheduled to interview Tuesday in Lake Forest but canceled when he took the Oakland job.

The Bears can’t even get to the starting line, folks.

No wonder they said they’d take their time in hiring coordinators. Nobody wants to work here.

Not Jeremy Bates. Not Ken Zampese. Not Rob Chudzinski. That’s correct: They were turned down by a guy nicknamed “Chud.’’

The Bears appear to be blindsided by all of this, which is almost as amazing as losing out to the Raiders on an offensive coordinator. They contended, at least publicly, that coaches would line up for the chance to work inside Halas Hall. Lovie Smith insisted that coordinator candidates wouldn’t care about the specter of a one-year stay in Chicago. They would care about the challenge, he said.

Apparently, a whole lot of coaches aren’t up to the challenge of fixing a weak offense under a suffocating time constraint. Nor do they appear to be excited about the challenge of working for a team with no first- and second-round picks in 2010.

To be beaten out by the Raiders ... is there anything more embarrassing?

No, there really isn’t.  Rick goes on to emphasize the point by noting that Jackson chose to work for Al Davis rather than come to Chicago. That is as big a middle finger as you can flip in the NFL. Of course, they do have the Raiderettes in Oakland, so maybe that played a part in his decision. ELLIOTT HARRIS at the Sun Times seems to insinuate that today.

The Indianapolis Colts have cheerleaders.

The New Orleans Saints have cheerleaders.

The Bears do not.

The Colts and Saints are in Super Bowl XLIV.

The Bears haven’t had cheer-leaders since Super Bowl XX, which they won.

So the logical conclusion (or as logical as it gets around here): The Bears need to restore the Honey Bears to their rightful place in the world—which would be on the sidelines at Soldier Field.

Does that make sense?

‘’We have never won a Super Bowl since they fired the Honey Bears,’’ Emery Moorehead, who played tight end on the Super Bowl champs, told Quick Hits. ‘’That is the most important thing right there. They have an opportunity. They never have put them back. Virginia [McCaskey] said George Halas [her father and the Bears’ original owner] wanted the game the way it was.

‘’It’s entertainment. It’s the whole package: cheerleaders, players on the field. So you need to bring them back.’’

If you think about it (which Quick Hits occasionally does), Papa Bear actually was the one who brought Bears fans the cheerleaders.

‘’Today it’s all about entertainment,’’ Moorehead said. ‘’Bring the Honey Bears back.’’

More important than bringing in an offensive or defensive coordinator?

‘’The coordinator situation is going to be tough this year,’’ he said. ‘’They’re not going to have a quality pick because of the [coach Lovie] Smith situation. That’s going to make it tough for somebody to come in.’’

In case that confused you, allow me to recap. The Bears fired the cheerleaders George Halas hired to maintain George Halas’ wishes. I’m sure that makes sense to someone, just not me. And, to add insult to injury, even former players realize how useless the coaching staff is now and will be in 2010.

A couple of weeks ago I wrote that the Bears could be the first NFL team to enter the season with no coordinators. I meant that to be funny, not prescient.

Our very own, Tom D, has started a thread, so CLICK HERE TO WALLOW IN PATHOS.

If you were looking for a couple of good football games yesterday, you found them in the AFC and NFC championships. Watching rookie Mark Sanchez of the Jets exhibit the poise of a wily veteran and almost upset the vaunted Indianapolis Colts had me glued to the tube. Had you told me that a kid, with a mustache that looks like it was painted on using mascara, would open the game with an 83 yard touchdown strike against one of the best teams in the NFL I would have asked you to share whatever it was you took. Even so, the Jets are a young team. Look for them to get even better as time goes on.

Later watching Favre and company run the favored New Orleans Saints into overtime and almost subject the nation to two more weeks of the Mississippi Drama Queen caused me to put a serious dent in the local Budweiser inventory. Actually, it isn’t Favre so much as the hyperventilating podcasters who foist themselves onto my my favorite sports’ shows that scared me. I had legitimate fears that they would be in the Minnesota locker room wearing knee pads. Nevertheless, when all was said and done, I figured two weeks of listening to “Who Dat” was an acceptable price to pay.

MIKE MULLIGAN over at the Sun Times takes a look at the Indy victory yesterday.

Manning talked about ‘’grinding’’ for the Jets so much, he interrupted himself at one point to laugh about his overuse of the word.

But with a trip to the Super Bowl on the line against a team the Colts effectively allowed in the playoffs by benching players (including Manning) instead of pursuing a perfect season, the quarterback clearly was determined not to let the organization be embarrassed. He said he spent endless hours breaking down film of Rex Ryan’s defenses before eventually finding a tape of a Baltimore-Indy game from the 2005 season when Ryan was the defensive coordinator with the Ravens.

Whatever Manning saw, he had all the answers for a Jets team that built a 17-6 lead before the Colts ran off 24 unanswered points. Indy wound up with 461 total yards against a Jets defense that finished the regular season ranked No. 1 overall.

‘’If you can’t disrupt Peyton Manning’s rhythm, he’ll kill you,’’ said Ryan, the son of former Bears defensive coordinator Buddy Ryan. ‘’We didn’t disrupt him enough. We tried everything. We tried man, two-man, tried zone, you name it. You gotta give him credit. He’s a heck of a quarterback.’’

The beginning of the end for the Jets came when Manning directed a spectacular four-play drive to a touchdown with less than a minute left in the first half. Manning threw a strike to rookie Austin Collie for a 46-yard gain to set up a 16-yard TD pass to Collie on the next play. The 46-yarder, Manning said, was the play that gave the Colts the rhythm Ryan talked about.

Then, on the opening possession of the second half, the Jets took the kickoff and couldn’t resist trying a 52-yard field goal that wound up giving Manning a short field. Ryan likely figured he had to create some points, but the Colts got the ball at the 43 and drove downfield in eight plays, capping it with a four-yard TD to Pierre Garcon.

Manning’s passer rating was 123.6 after he went 26-for-39 for 377 yards with three TDs. Most impressive was that the two 100-yard receivers he found were not named Reggie Wayne or Dallas Clark.

The stars instead were Garcon, a second-year pro who was a seventh-round pick out of Mount Union College, and Collie, a fourth-round selection last April from BYU. Garcon had 11 catches for 151 yards; Collie caught seven for 123, and both caught a touchdown pass.

Garcon, a first-generation American whose parents were born in Haiti, waved a flag in honor of that earthquake-shattered country. Unfortunately, he used it a few times to wipe sweat off his brow and upper lip, but his heart was in the right place.

‘’I was trying to do it for the country,’’ Garcon said of Haiti.

I will admit that I have no clue how waving the Haitian flag helps that torn country, but I couldn’t see any way that it hurt either. I will also admit that I am clueless as to why the Jets tried that long field goal early in the third quarter. But I won’t second guess too much. The Jets came out and were aggressive all game. The fact that they went as far as they did with such a young team, a rookie QB and a rookie coach says a lot about where that franchise is headed. I do know that the Colts’ eventual victory was never in much doubt, but I was pleased to see them have to work so hard for it.

Over in the NFC Championship game, the Vikings and the Saints each did all they could to lose the game and all they could to win it. It might not have been the best played game I have seen, but it was sure as hell exciting. SAM FARMER at the Tribune fills us in.

The victory is especially meaningful to a city, state and region ravaged by Hurricane Katrina just a few years ago. The franchise has provided a glimmer of hope for untold thousands in the Gulf Coast region.

The Vikings had a great chance to win. With the score tied at 28, a battered and hobbled Favre drove his team to the outer fringes of field-goal range in the waning moments of regulation.

But with 19 seconds to play, he threw an across-the-body pass for Sidney Rice over the middle of the field that was intercepted by cornerback Tracy Porter. It was the fifth turnover for the Vikings, who had two passes picked off and lost three of six fumbles.

The Saints didn’t have enough time to move into scoring range in regulation, but they won the overtime coin flip and never surrendered the ball. It was the third NFC title game to go into overtime, coming two years after the Giants beat Favre’s Packers at Lambeau Field.

In the extra period, Brees directed a 10-play, 39-yard drive that was aided by two Vikings penalties — and kept alive by a 2-yard plunge by Pierre Thomas on fourth-and-1 at the Minnesota 43.

The packed house erupted when Hartley boomed his kick through the uprights with 10 minutes, 19 seconds on the clock, finally punctuating decades of frustration and heartache.

The Saints have shed the dubious distinction of being among the five NFL teams that never have made it to a Super Bowl. That group now consists of the Browns, Texans, Lions and Jaguars.

Outside the New Orleans locker room after the game was Pat Swilling, a longtime star defensive end for the Saints who played on some teams that were good but just not good enough.

“I saw (former linebacker) Rickey Jackson outside, and he had tears in his eyes — and I have them in mine,” Swilling said. “This is what we fought for.

“All those great years that we had and we never got over the hump. To see these guys get over it is just wonderful, man.”

Yes it is. I am old enough to remember the Archie Manning years and clearly recollect the poor fans of New Orleans cheering a great quarterback on a lousy team. They have deserved better for a long time and now they have it.

So, now we get the season’s two best quarterbacks facing off in a Superbowl that stands a chance of living up to its hype. I guess, at the end of the day, that is the only real surprise. It has been a while since we have had two evenly matched teams heading into the big game.

I guess we can also be surprised when we find out what the local mayors are going to wager. After all, aside from grease and corn, there are no native foods in Indianapolis.

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The allegedly egalitarian, unquestionably elitist, folks who run the Olympics came up with one of those “good ideas” that usually do not survive the hangover. They wanted to use ice dancing to celebrate the rural histories of the world. If your first thought is that this would be akin to a celebration of Mayan folk music by Wayne Newton, you are not far off the mark, as far as I can tell.

After all, what could possibly go wrong when you combine sequins, ice skating and one people’s traditional religious beliefs and millennia old culture? Well, I won’t keep you in suspense any more. PHILIP HERSH from the Tribune spells it all out nicely.

For years, ice dance costumes and programs have been so over-the-top they made it almost ridiculous to think this was a sport worthy of Olympic medals.

Then the International Skating Union turned what was only a farce into an opportunity for cultural insensitivity as well as bad taste when it decided dancers should use folk themes for their original dance in this Olympic season.

That led Russians Oksana Domnina and Maxim Shabalin, the reigning world champions, to create a program with allegedly Australian aboriginal music and to perform it wearing brown face, tribal paint and costumes with clumps of faux foliage.

Sol Bellear, of the New South Wales state Aboriginal Land Council, told an Australian newspaper: “It’s very offensive. We see it as stealing Aboriginal culture, and it is yet another example of the Aboriginal people of Australia being exploited.”

Bellear has said he will write to Russia’s ambassador in Canberra to protest the dance. The 2010 Winter Olympics take place in Vancouver, which has focused attention on issues related to the status and treatment of Canada’s First Nations, just as the 2000 Sydney Olympics spurred discussions about Australia’s historically racist mistreatment of its Aboriginal population.

In the U.S. Championships, leaders Meryl Davis and Charlie White did an original dance Friday night to an Indian theme, using movements that could be seen as caricatures or cliches. But their costumes and interpretation have been greeted with approval on the Internet in comments from India.

Meanwhile, Kimberly Navarro and Brent Bommentre, fourth after the original dance, are using Afro-Brazilian music, but he wears a headpiece that recalls silent movie icon Rudolph Valentino as “The Sheikh.” Bommentre said he used the headpiece because he could not grow long enough hair for dreadlocks and rejected hair extensions.

Five-time U.S. champions Tanith Belbin and Ben Agosto, who are second after the original dance, took a less risky approach, using a Moldovan theme.

While there is nothing inherently wrong about having dancers interpret ethnic themes, it looks absurdly out of place amidst the frivolity that is ice dance.

Even with well-intentioned efforts at sensitivity, there is an element of high camp rather than cultural authenticity when ice dancers do the folk programs.

For those of you who are not aware of the fine, albeit still Communist, country of Moldova, mentioned above, it is a small Eastern European country that has a very good soccer team, a large collection of naturist resorts and a legal age of 16 for, well, what the legal age is there for. So, if Belbin & Agosto are going to play a round of nude soccer on skates, count me among the curious. Otherwise, I think this will all count as Can’t See TV.

I guess I could kind of get it if the idea was to do traditional music from your own country. While even that could raise some issues, at least they could be caught in their country of origin

”Gee, Bob & Jane, do you really that wearing pink sequined tights while doing a black faced rendition of ‘Swing Low Sweet Chariot’ is such a good idea?”

“Listen, Ivana & Igor, we all want to celebrate our history, I am just saying that the Katherine the Great piece, complete with horse, might strike some as ....”

I realize that the skaters are tying to do the right thing given the rules they were handed. However, keep in mind that many of them have lead very isolated lives. Add in the fact that not every country boasts the cultural diversity of the U.S. and suddenly you have a whole group of people who have no clue what others would find offensive since they have no real clue who those “others” actually are.

Like I said, this probably sounded good at 3 AM after the 7th round of Manhattans. But, someone should have tossed that particular bar napkin out before they went back to their hotel rooms.

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Last week we had some fun writing about the Cubs’ fan convention. Well, technically, I had fun writing about it and, at least, 3 people had fun reading about it. Be that as it may, this week is SoxFest. A time for players and coaches to mingle with the great unwashed and relax over a frosty cold libation. Unlike the Cubs convention, SoxFest requires a parental warning. Not only around Ozzie. Cooper and Walker have been known to let fly with the occasional colorful colloquialism now and then. JOE COWLEY at the Sun Times was kind enough to edit out the various bleeps and bloops and tell us about the gathering.

On the eve of the annual SoxFest weekend, the say-anything Guillen addressed the perception of a cold war between him and closer Bobby Jenks, life without a true designated hitter, expected fan reaction during the next three days and outfielder Alex Rios electing to skip the weekend festivities.

And he even dropped an f-bomb here and there.

The topic that put Guillen on the defensive was the notion that the Sox still are missing something—specifically, a DH—even with veteran Jim Thome still out there in free agency.

‘’Some of the fans are excited about this team and the moves we made,’’ Guillen said. ‘’It is different for everyone. But everyone should be happy because I know I am. This is the first time I can remember where we are set at almost every position before camp even starts.

‘’In the past, we had to choose between, ‘Do we want this guy or that guy?’ I think [general manager] Kenny [Williams] and [assistant GM] Rick Hahn did a tremendous job. I don’t see why a fan can be upset, but that’s why they are fans.

‘’I will say this about our DH: Whoever is the DH will be in the [bleep]ing lineup.’’

As it stands right now, Mark Kotsay and Andruw Jones are the most logical candidates. But Guillen also will use Omar Vizquel, Carlos Quentin and Paul Konerko in that spot, allowing him to play with the lineup to get certain matchups and get a player some rest without taking his bat out of the lineup.

Guillen said he’s Thome’s biggest fan, but life in the American League is changing.

‘’No one, except his wife, is a bigger fan of Jim Thome than me,’’ Guillen said. ‘’I will be grateful and pleased one day to say that I had an opportunity to manage this man, but this game is changing a little bit. It’s easy for a manager when you don’t have a true DH. I can move things around, give guys more playing time. That’s the way it’s going to be.

‘’Fans out there will be looking at this team a little different. They might be saying, ‘Hey, we’re missing something.’ I think we’re going in a different direction, but the right direction. Our team is going to create different things. That’s why things will look weird. People shouldn’t be worried about that. Thome, to me, is one of the best guys ever to wear the uniform, but DH is changing. Few teams will have a legit DH. Those days are going away.’’

The story that won’t go away is the idea that there are lingering hard feelings between Guillen and Jenks. Jenks didn’t like some of the comments made about his conditioning at the end of last season and told the Sun-Times in November: ‘’I felt I was the easy scapegoat because I had struggled in the end with some nagging injuries. This organization, just like most in this game, tell you, ‘Come in ... and tell us what’s on your mind.’ And when you do, they turn it around on you and make you feel bad. They’re playing on your own words. They want you to come in, be honest, and then they turn it around.’’

As others have noted, none of this would have happened had not Jenks made a point of explaining how he was in good shape in September as opposed to the rest of the season. My Aunt Bertha used to say “If you stand on a fence and tell people to hit you with a brick, someone will hit you with a brick.” My Aunt Bertha was a lot of fun. She also liked to put salt in her beer. Even so, I am sure that Jenks will be fine once he gets a few saves under his, now svelte, belt.

All this minor drama aside, the Sox seem pretty well stocked with pitching this year and have a lot of flexibility with the DH spot. Sadly Alex Rios did not attend SoxFest. Mostly because he is shy. All that means in the grand scheme of things is that he will be a lousy interview. There are more than enough people in the Sox organization who can cover that lack. As long as his swing is back, and Gregg Walker stated that it is, no one will really care about the rest.

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I love logic. So, follow this bit to the end and see if you can avoid banging your head off a wall. The Bears are interviewing Chudzinski to be their Offensive Coordinator. He appears to have no first name, which is fine. His friends, affectionately, call him Chud. He is the tight ends coach in San Diego. He is a darn good one too. As a OC, not so much. Unless the Cleveland Browns blew you away. All you really need to know about him as an OC is this nugget, courtesy of DAN POMPEII at the Trib.

In the second-to-last game of the season, the Browns threw the ball 48 times on a cold, windy day in Cincinnati and lost 19-14 to the Bengals, who relied on their rushing attack. Chudzinski was criticized for his game plan, and the Browns failed to make the playoffs despite a 10-6 record.

Now, you may be asking yourself why he is on the Bears short list. Because, and this is genius, they wanted to talk to him about being the tight ends coach but can’t because he is under contract. The only way they can talk to him is to offer him a promotion. So, they are. He must be one hell of a conversationalist is all I can think. But how that makes him the OC the Bears need is beyond me.

Memo to the Bulls, you have millions of dollars to spend each year, hit CVS for some flu shots for Cry-Yi. It is embarrassing watching guys wheeze like this.

All right, let’s take in some good news. First, on the Northside, ELLIOTT HARRIS at the Sun Times reports that the Cubs are finally taking a look at some of the more serious issues surrounding the team.

LESSON FOR CUBS’ KENNEY: Keep your eye on the ballgirls
Some people go to the Cubs Convention in search of autographs, creating memories and/or finding hope.

Quick Hits went in search of answers. So seeing team president Crane Kenney provided the perfect opportunity to ascertain whether new ownership actually is taking the steps to improve things.

‘’Have you made any progress in getting ballgirls back?’’ your correspondent wondered.

‘’You’re still looking for Marla [Collins, the ballgirl from the 1980s],’’ Kenney told Quick Hits exclusively—mainly because no one else asks such delicate questions. ‘’Is that right?’’

Actually, any of the ballgirls would suffice. They even could be the next generation. Quick Hits is nothing if not an equal-opportunity purveyor of pulchritudinous photos.

‘’That and troughs are issues that I think we should take to the chairman [Tom Ricketts],’’ Kenney said.

It appears the Cubs are holding on to the troughs.

‘’To be honest, on the list of priorities, we probably haven’t gotten to ballgirls yet,’’ Kenney said. ‘’But I think maybe it’s something we should put on the list.’’

If for no other reason than to avoid being subjected to such a grueling inquisition.

So this is something the Cubs might address this century?

‘’Oh, yes,’’ Kenney said. ‘’I’ll put it on the list today. How’s that?’’

Well, as long as it doesn’t take 101 years—or longer.

Would it be gauche to mention that both upgrades mentioned above could conceivably lead to men holding their penises? Probably.

On the Southside, they are trying something new called “working with players.” This is a novel idea and does not involve beer. I know, I know, but what can I do? The Sox held a non-mandatory camp in Florida near the coaches’ homes and had a very nice turn out from vets to 3A prospects. Memo to Sox fans, watch the development of a 3A pitcher named Threets. He’s not there yet, but he will be soon.

Anyway, as JOE COWLEY at the Sun Times notes, the biggest thing on the agenda for this pseudo-camp was getting Beckham acclimated at second base.

When the Sox selected Beckham, an All-American shortstop, with the eighth pick in the 2008 draft, Williams described him as ‘’a baseball player’’—not to be defined by one position. That’s why Beckham chuckles at the idea the Sox are somehow messing with his psyche by first asking a natural shortstop to play third, and then, less than a year later, moving him to second.

‘’People are making a big deal out of it because it is tough to handle for some people at times,’’ Beckham said. ‘’I see no issue with it. To be honest, I don’t think ultimately I was going to be a third baseman. You see those guys hit 30 to 35 homers a year. I mean, I’d like to say I’m capable of that, but realistically it’s more like 20 to 25. My body type is such that it’s more like that.

‘’Admittedly, I was shocked when I heard Chris was traded. Now I think about it [and] I’m really glad I’m playing second. It’s a better position for me. And to be honest, I’ll play wherever they need me to play.’’

Cora has given his thumbs-up on Beckham’s work in the last week, especially after the third day of the three-day voluntary minicamp.

‘’I feel like I got where I wanted to be in those three days,’’ Beckham said. ‘’All I need to do at second base is relax. Joey was happy after the third day. He mentioned it was all worth it because of that third day.

‘’The main thing is the double-play feeds around the bag. Make sure you’re quiet with the feet and always going toward first base on the throws. But you can bet we’ll be out there before every home game doing a lot of early work. I think I should be very good by the time we get to June. I don’t see it being a problem.’’

As a side note, Beckham is back in Chicago calling Sox fans trying to sell them any of the various ticket packages the Sox have this year. As he noted, “if this baseball thing doesn’t work out, maybe I have a future in sales.’’

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The Bears are interviewing a possible tight ends coach prior to heading off to Gaines Adams’ funeral. I have no idea why they are doing this since they still do not have an offensive coordinator. As has been noted by everyone with an IQ higher than a rock, coordinators like to pick their own staff. They want to give themselves the best chance to succeed. No matter what a coordinator may think of so and so’s reputation, if they haven’t worked together before they are going to waste precious time getting to know each other instead of the team.

I’ll give you a ‘for instance.’ The new OC comes in and looks at film and says to himself, “Holy Bat Guano! If the line doesn’t do more shifts and move the pocket, the QB and running backs will all be killed.” Meanwhile, the already hired line coach looks at the exact same film and decides that the line needs to be more of a wall and that it should be the tight ends and backs who are mobile and force plays outside.

It doesn’t matter who is right, both points are valid, but you can’t plan a scheme using both of them. They conflict too much. “And, therein lies the rub” as rapmaster Billy S. so famously said. The Bears have no way of knowing what their new OC will want to do or not do and they are putting people in place who may or may not want to go along with the eventual plan. It’s like they are building a house from the roof down. Yes, that’s a simile.

Anyway, RICK MORRISSEY over at the Sun Times tries to delve into the muddled minds that are making the decisions. The following metaphors may be unsafe for younger or more sensitive readers.

The business of hiring coordinators is a process, the Bears tell us.

Then again, so is sausage making.

And composting.

And Joan Rivers’ cosmetic tightening.

There might be a lot of coaches who would love to be the Bears’ offensive or defensive coordinator, as president Ted Phillips and general manager Jerry Angelo insisted two weeks ago.

But an awful lot of coaches don’t seem to want to have anything to do with the Bears or the possibility of just one year of employment. If Lovie Smith walks like a lame-duck head coach and talks like a lame-duck head coach, well, quack, quack.

The Bears want to get it right, which explains their inertia on the coordinator openings. But there’s no escaping the feeling that the organization is at its worst when deliberation, diligence or what would commonly be called ‘’thinking’’ is involved.

The Buffalo Bills hired Chan Gailey as their head coach Tuesday. He had been Kansas City’s offensive coordinator until the Chiefs fired him three games into the preseason. He had been—what’s the term?—available. On Monday, the Denver Broncos parted company with defensive coordinator Mike Nolan, who on Tuesday took the same position with the Miami Dolphins.

Just because a familiar name enters the job market doesn’t mean the Bears should jump, of course. But it sure would be nice if they gave an indication they were doing something.

Of the two coordinator openings, the offensive position is by far the most important right now. Whoever gets it will have a hand in the immediate futures of a lot of people, starting with Smith. It’s why some of us are rooting for Jim Carrey to get the job.

It took my feeble brain a second to realize he meant the coach and not the actor who gave us ACE VENTURA: PET DETECTIVE! Although, I wonder if it really makes any difference.

Yes, watching the Bears try to think is like watching a butcher making sausage. From the mixing of the bloody miasma to the stuffing of the intestines, it is not a pretty sight. Certainly, in the right hands it is a treat for millions of people. But does anyone, besides Mrs. Smith, think this particular process is in the right hands?

I know I don’t. And, judging by the emails I have gotten and posts on this blog, you don’t either.

Speaking of freakishly ugly things, I would be remiss if I did not mention Mark McGwire. It seems clear that Carlton Fisk will not be invited to McGwire’s home any time soon and, as FRED MITCHELL of the Tribune reports, that is just fine with our little Pudge.

The recent revelations and admissions of steroid use by baseball stars such as Mark McGwire and Alex Rodriguez came as no big news to Hall of Famer Carlton Fisk.

“I didn’t just find this out,” Fisk told the Tribune Tuesday from Florida. “I worked hard in the gym to look like I did and feel like I felt. (Catching) took a toll on me, too. A lot of people knew. Nobody wanted to really address the issue.

“But when you have some of these obscene numbers being put up by people who shouldn’t even be there. … I mean, you know what’s going on. … The people it should have been most obvious to are the people who covered it up by not addressing it.”

Some critics have blamed the media for not being more vigilant during the ‘80s and ‘90s. Others say the players who were clean should have exposed the cheats. And some say that Major League Baseball dropped the ball because it took so long to adopt stringent testing.

“You don’t blame people for not ratting them out; you blame the people who abused the pharmaceutical world,” Fisk said. “It’s not like you are taking a couple of aspirin and you don’t know what’s going on. (Non-prescription steroid use has been) a federal offense for a long time, regardless of whether baseball was recognizing it and putting rules into place. The people who did it … they were breaking the law to start with. It doesn’t have to be a baseball law. They knew what they were doing and the reason they were doing it. Now they are sorry because they are getting called out.”

Fisk blasted McGwire, Roger Clemens, Barry Bonds and other alleged or admitted steroid abusers in baseball, calling McGwire’s recent claim that steroids did not help him hit more home runs “a crock.”

“(McGwire) says, ‘Well, it doesn’t help eye-and-hand coordination.’ Well, of course it does. It allows you more acuity physically and mentally and optically. You are going to be stronger and you are going to be better,” said Fisk, who starred for the Red Sox and White Sox.

“Some of these numbers that are out there are really warped. Should they be considered? You saw how McGwire was viewed in the Hall of Fame voting. If you take the length of time that (steroid abusers) use that stuff and subtract 15 or 20 home runs a year for those guys, where are their numbers then?”

Fisk goes on to point out the obvious to all the nay sayers, they are called performance enhancing drugs because they increase performance.

So, this is what we are left with; the Bears stand a real chance of becoming the first team in NFL history to start a season with no Offensive or Defensive Coordinator in place and the only way Mark McGwire can get into the Hall of Fame now is if he buys a ticket. I am only okay with the last part of that.

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I was chatting with a buddy of mine who happens to be a Cubs’ fan. Nice guy, intelligent and generous, but still a Cubs fan. Even so, we have gotten along well since the day we met and I see no reason for that not to continue. Anyway, we ranged back and forth over two topics. The first, my personal paranoid fantasy that the newspapers are secretly taping my conversations to acquire source material for their articles and, second, how the Cubs and Sox have wildly different approaches to the off season.

Proof of the former comes in the form of the latter.

Today, JOE COWLEY at the Sun Times takes a peek at what the Sox are up to this time of the year.

Making sure (Alex) Rios and Carlos Quentin were ready mentally for 2010 was priority 1A and 1B for (hitting coach, Gregg) Walker this winter. He visited Quentin in late October and was thrilled that Rios decided to fly to Miami last week and join Gordon Beckham, Alexei Ramirez and Dayan Viciedo in an unofficial minicamp.

Camp Cora—put together by bench coach Joey Cora—is supposed to give the younger infielders a chance to come together and work on their defense.

Rios wanted to make an appearance and show that his swing was where it needed to be and, more importantly, so was his head.

‘’It wasn’t mandatory. He came there on his own,’’ Walker said. ‘’He understands the situation. Alex knows how important he is for us. He’s a bright kid. We’ll get to know him, he’ll get to know us and there will be a real comfort level that we really didn’t obtain last year.

‘’He was thrown into a pennant race and was supposed to save us, and it didn’t work out.’’

The one question that Rios will have to answer, however, has to do with his mental toughness. In Toronto, the Blue Jays are below junior hockey and just above curling as far as the city’s priorities.

On the South Side, it doesn’t take long for open arms to become boos and screams of ‘’you suck!’’

Rios has a very laid-back personality, almost Javy Vazquez-like at times. Almost.

‘’This is a new year for me, a new start,’’ Rios said, sounding anything but laid-back. ‘’I’m here to win games and get this team to the playoffs. You can’t put it all on one person. It’s a team effort. I don’t have any more pressure than the other 24. We all have to step up.’’

What does Walker think?

‘’I’m not a psychiatrist, but I think he will be mentally tough enough to handle this,’’ Walker said. ‘’You look at the history of baseball, of how many guys are brought in to save a team late in the season, I would bet that there is a high failure rate.

‘’Now he has time to get ready for a season. We have a lot of time to get to know each other.’’

The plan for Rios is to keep his mechanics where they are for the next six weeks, bring them to spring training and have him ready to be a key figure in the outfield, as well as the middle of the lineup. If there is a slip in his swing, Walker is one phone call away.

‘’Like I said, I’m here to help this team,’’ Rios said. ‘’We’ll win games with our pitching and defense, but I’m a big fan of our offense.’’

Walker has a similar opinion.

‘’I’m excited about having Alex in camp now,’’ Walker said. ‘’This is the guy we [expected].’’

Five swings showed Walker that.

Voluntary camps? One on one coaching in private? Rios has his swing back? What’s next? A rousing round of Kumbaya?

Seriously though, after a rough season it is heart warming to see players putting in some extra effort to ensure that recent history does not repeat itself.

On the Northside, the Tribune’s PAUL SULLIVAN says that everyone had a nice party. He then goes on to recap the ten things he learned from the Cubs’ convention. I am only going to pop up a couple of my favorites to save space, but please click his link to read them all.

1 Clubhouse changes in store: The Wrigley Field clubhouses are tiny compared with most teams’ because the layout of Wrigley Field makes it difficult to renovate. Laura Ricketts said the “state of the clubhouse was shocking to me.” Some changes will be made immediately. Todd Ricketts announced the team would renovate the clubhouse kitchen and bring in a nutritionist. The weight room will be a lounge, and the umpires room will be a weight room.

2 Ghosts of DeRosa, Bradley remain: General manager Jim Hendry has apologized so many times for trading Mark DeRosa and signing Milton Bradley, he’s threatening the world record for mea culpas. “Obviously it was a shoot-for-the-moon (decision),” he said of Bradley. “Obviously it didn’t work out. It was totally my responsibility. It was a mistake in hindsight.” As for why he didn’t re-sign DeRosa as a free agent this offseason, Hendry said DeRosa’s days as a second baseman may be over, and the Cubs already have a left fielder.

3 Cubs all ears: The addition of a “Chief Hospitality Officer” by the Ricketts family was an indication the organization will listen more intently to fan complaints and advice. “We take our cues from you all,” President Crane Kenney said.

4 Squirrels bite: Why couldn’t fans use their iPhones last summer at Wrigley? “Believe it or not, the answer is squirrels,” said Carl Rice, the Cubs’ technology guru. Rice said squirrels ate through the wires providing AT&T wireless access. He said the issue has been resolved.

Read number one again. Is it just me or does it seem that the umps are going to have to dress in the Cubbie Bear? Number 2 actually made sense. Time to up my meds. Number 3 is nice. Does that mean that until today no one gave a damn what the fans thought? That’s got to not be a feel good. Number 4 is something that could only happen to the Cubs. Honestly, you can’t name one other team that has had its communications system knocked out for a year by squirrels.

I know you’re trying, but you can’t.

Nevertheless, it is plain to see that I am being secretly recorded. I don’t mind that so much, but in fairness, they should pay my bar tab.

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Before we begin today’s frivolous topics, I would like to take a moment to pass along the condolences of all the administrators up here to the family of Gaines Adams. A doctor I know said that, while an enlarged heart is relatively easy to detect, it is also a condition that can occur between physicals or exams and - as appears to be what happened in Gaines Adams’ case - just catch you by surprise. We won’t know all the facts for a while, but the one thing we do know is that a promising young man was taken from this world too soon.

Okay, now to the fun stuff.

Yesterday the Minnesota Vikings didn’t just beat the Dallas Cowboys, they humiliated them. Up 27-3 in the last minutes of the fourth quarter, Minnesota lead a drive down field and scored another touchdown. As Jimmy Johnson said after the game, “If (Dallas was) so upset by that, they should have stopped them.” It was clear from the first play of that drive that the Vikings were going to try for more points. My guess is that Favre’s knees are too old to allow him to kneel so they had to keep making plays. DAN POMPEII over at the Tribune details the carnage.

Favre said he was playing with as much enthusiasm as ever.

“I know how difficult it is to win a playoff game, regardless of age,” he said. “I probably appreciate it a little more than the other guys in the locker room, especially the younger guys.”

Sixty percent of Favre’s passing yards came courtesy of Sidney Rice, who has had a breakout season playing with the future Hall of Famer. Rice had six catches for 141 yards and three TDs Sunday.

On their first touchdown, Rice found himself covered one-on-one, inexplicably, by Cowboys strong safety Gerald Sensabaugh on a fly pattern. After a perfect strike by Favre for the 47-yard score, Cowboys coach Wade Phillips, who reportedly has a contract extension in the works, was yelling at secondary coach Dave Campo.

The second touchdown was the best. Rice’s assignment on the play was to block Cowboys Pro Bowl linebacker DeMarcus Ware. He did, and found himself on the ground. He got back up and for the heck of it ran to an open spot in the field. Favre scrambled and found him for the 16-yard score.

The final scoring hookup, a 45-yarder, came against a defense with both safeties blitzing. Left one-on-one with cornerback Mike Jenkins, the 6-foot-4 Rice ran a nifty post route and Favre threw another pass right on the money.

As remarkable as Favre to Rice was, the Vikings’ defense might have been even more impressive, coming up with six sacks and three takeaways. It was “without question” the Vikings’ best defensive performance of the year, according to defensive coordinator Les Frazier.

“We put on a nice show today, coverage and rush,” defensive tackle Kevin Williams said.

Despite having two weeks off, the Vikings didn’t look like a rusty team. They looked like a lively one. And they played in front of a lively crowd at Mall of America Field that responded noisily to anything that worked for the Vikings.

Like the two divisional playoff games that preceded it on Saturday, this game was one-sided. The Vikings led 14-3 midway through the second quarter, and the game never was in doubt after that.

Perhaps the Vikings and Saints were saving the drama for next week.

As much as the Bears’ fan in me wishes that Favre was in Mississippi tending his crops, I still have to admire the way this guy plays the game. All the off field stuff aside, he continues to prove why he will be a Hall of Fame inductee as soon as is possible after his retirement.

His real retirement, that is.

But, the game of the day for me was the Chargers - Jets tilt. The Bolts were prohibitive favorites, playing at home against a team that passes gas more often that it passes footballs. If there was ever a game that was slated to be “Blowout of the Day” this was it. The funny thing is, no one told the Jets. Or, if they did, no one listened.

I’ll let BERNIE WILSON over at the Sun Times fill you in.

Maybe New York Jets coach Rex Ryan already knows the score of the AFC Championship Game, too.

Ryan, who at one point this season didn’t know the Jets were still in playoff contention, then declared them Super Bowl favorites, will need some more bold predictions. His team still is playing.

Rookies Mark Sanchez and Shonn Greene each accounted for a touchdown in the fourth quarter to lead the Jets to a 17-14 upset of the San Diego Chargers in the AFC divisional playoffs Sunday.

‘’It’s a big win for our franchise, and we’re not done,’’ Sanchez said.

Sanchez threw a two-yard touchdown pass to tight end Dustin Keller three plays into the fourth quarter to give the Jets a 10-7 lead, then Greene gave them some breathing room with a 53-yard scoring run on their next possession.

‘’Once I got to the secondary, I had one tackle to break, and I did,’’ said Greene, who ran for 128 yards on 23 carries. ‘’A lot of people didn’t know about me, but they know about the Jets.’’

The upstart Jets (11-7), who have won seven of their last eight games, advanced to the AFC Championship Game for the first time since 1999. They’ll visit the Indianapolis Colts on Sunday.

‘’A matchup probably nobody wanted, but too bad,’’ Ryan said. ‘’Here we come!’’

The Colts pulled quarterback Peyton Manning and several other starters in the second half of their Week 16 game against the Jets, who rallied for a victory that put them in control of their playoff destiny. Before that game, Ryan said his holiday wish was for the Colts to rest Manning and Co.

‘’I don’t know if Santa Claus will be that good to me again,’’ Ryan said. ‘’But I will say I’d like to see Peyton Manning not play this week.’’

After the Jets clinched a playoff spot by routing the Cincinnati Bengals in their regular-season finale, Ryan created a postseason itinerary for his players that included the Super Bowl in Miami, followed by a parade two days later.

He might be on to something. Maybe this week he’ll predict the Jets’ opponent in the Super Bowl.

‘’We believed the whole time, the whole year, when it probably wasn’t the popular choice,’’ Ryan said. ‘’We don’t have to apologize to anyone.’’

No you don’t Rex. The Jets play football like it’s 1969. Smash mouth defense, punishing running game and just enough passing to keep the defense honest. It is boring, it is staid and it is working. Their quarterback, Mark Sanchez (who I do not believe is old enough to drink beer), looks so calm in the huddle that one wonders if he has quite realized where he is. Yet, there they go to the AFC Title game and no one seems to know how to stop them.

For those of you who were too riveted by the playoffs to read the papers, I strongly suggest you take a moment to read KC JOHNSON’S great article about Joakim Noah in the Tribune. It shows the maturation process of a kid who has grown to become one of the top centers in the NBA.

For those of you who were too lazy to change channels, you should know that the Hawks beat a healthy Detroit Red Wings 4-3 in a shoot out. They are now 2-0 to start their 8 game road trip and 3-0 over their last three games. This is a team to watch. If you are not a hockey fan, for whatever defective reasons you may harbor, now is the time to be cured of that fault.

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Maybe it might be more PC to say that the Cubs have gotten trim. Maybe. But it isn’t nearly as much fun. At the Cubs’ Convention yesterday the team unveiled their new, improved, trimmed down players. From Zambrano to Soto, they looked pretty good. CHRIS DE LUCA over at the Sun Times was there and reports that, like Freddy Prinze used to say, the Cubs are “Loooking Good!”

Is a Chico and the Man reference too out of date?

Anyway, here is what Chris had to say.

Every Cubs Convention seems to have that turn-your-head moment, and there were several Friday at the Hilton Chicago.

There was catcher Geovany Soto—missing a double chin and about 40 pounds—stealing the show. There was pitcher Carlos Zambrano running his hand down a flat belly and raving about the nutritionist and personal chef the Cubs have hired to keep their players thin.

And then there was All-Star left-hander Ted Lilly—coming off the second shoulder operation of his major-league career—having a conversation about maybe facing the end of his career when shortstop Ryan Theriot interrupted in surprise.

‘’You look great,’’ Theriot said before offering a hug. ‘’Doesn’t he?’’

Lilly was beaming.

‘’I’m ready to take some grounders at short with him,’’ Lilly said.

The Cubs didn’t just shed the dead weight known as Milton Bradley this offseason—they also peeled off all those unwanted pounds that helped kill their promising 2009 season. Turns out a look in the mirror after an 83-78 disappointment led to some drastic measures.

‘’It confirms to me that when good human beings don’t reach their own expectations or team goals, it bothers them, and they go home and do something about it,’’ general manager Jim Hendry said. ‘’Soto’s in terrific shape. I think Zambrano’s conditioning is apparent.

‘’It hurt them not to achieve their goals. There is nothing you can do about it until next April except get yourself in the best possible condition. And get your mind in the right shape.’’

For the first time since Lou Piniella became manager, the Cubs didn’t make a splashy move in the offseason. The prevailing feeling among many of the Cubs at the convention is that dumping Bradley and squeezing the most out of players who disappointed last season might be enough to return them to the postseason.

‘’When you roll over teams like we did in ‘08, and even in ‘07 we did so well, that to lose the way we did last year, it hurts,’’ pitcher Ryan Dempster said. ‘’We underachieved in everybody else’s mind, but most important, we underachieved in our own minds. And that’s a tough pill to swallow, so I am excited by this year.’’

Yes, Zambrano has come into camp in shape before and became a stunt double for the Michelin Man by August. But something feels different about this crew. Maybe getting humiliated last year was the best thing that could have happened to them. Maybe, just maybe, they are finally tired of being the Cubs.

Not tired of being on the team, but tired of being part of the tradition of losing.

Watching the interviews you got a tangible sense of a group of guys who want it and want it bad. From rookies, who always act like that, to veterans they looked more focused than I can remember them being in a long time.

Can they sustain that through an entire season? I don’t know and neither do you. But it should be fun finding out.

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This is an interesting little story. It is about one pitcher the Cubs never even looked at and one that they slobbered over. The first is a 27 year old guy who, but for some of the worst defense ever played, would have had 5 more wins for his 12-10 record. Or, more precisely, he would have been 17-5. The second guy sang GO CUBS GO in Vegas knowing that he was headed to Chicago to play in front of adoring fans and on a contender. He got all that right, he just guessed the wrong team. That’s right, I am talking about Randy Wells and Jake Peavy respectively, and respectfully.

As the Bears continue to play the waiting game while ostensibly looking for new coaching talent and watching the ones they seemed to have on front burners land elsewhere or not leave their previous posts in the first place, now seems as good a time as any to talk about a little baseball.

Over at the Tribune, PAUL SULLIVAN takes a look at the unlikely rise, and stunning dominance, of Randy Wells.

Wells knows success can be fleeting, but he’s confident his joy ride will continue without interruption.

“I don’t have the mentality where I’m happy with last year,” he said. “I’m ticked I didn’t win 17 games. I’m going to try to be better than last year. I have a grip on this shooting star I’m riding, and I’m not letting go.

“I can’t guarantee what kind of numbers I have. Maybe somebody figures me out, but I’m going to give it everything I have every pitch.”

Wells was an afterthought at this time last year but made the most out of his opportunities in the spring. He was called up from Triple-A Iowa in May. Now that he knows he has a job, Wells will be able to alter his approach to spring training.

“In years past, being a young guy and trying to win a job, or trying to impress, you had to be in midseason form right when you got there,” he said. “It’s nice to know that if I’m struggling with some pitches, I can take a start in spring training and just work on fastballs down and away, and know that no matter the results, I got some work out of it, rather than just trying to throw zeroes up. That’s going to be a positive for me, knowing I’ll be as sharp as I can be coming out of spring.”

Yes, Wells will be a starter in 2010 for the Northside and I think that Cubs’ fans are going to be damn glad to have him. He can make a lot of bad things go away. He looks more like a front of the rotation guy than many who have passed through both sides of town over the last couple of years and, with Lilly coming back in May, could give the Cubs a more formidable rotation than many have prognosticated.

As to Peavy, he really really really really .... you get the idea ... wanted to be a Cub. From his well documented singing of the Cubs theme song while still a member of the Padres to his initial refusal of the White Sox trade offer, you could tell he was a man with a plan. As my grandmother used to say, “Plans are what you make when you want to hear God laugh.”

So he ended up signed to the White Sox, injured and being managed by a crazed Venezuelan. Not at all what he had in mind. But, as he was quoted saying yesterday, ‘’I couldn’t have imagined a better fit.’’ Sometimes things do work out for the best when you just shut up and go with it. As JOE COWLEY at the Sun Times noted, Peavy has spent a lot of time with, pitching coach, Don Cooper and Kenny Williams. And the more these three get to know each other the more they like what they see.

They not only have a former Cy Young Award winner and two-time All-Star headlining a starting staff that is as good as any in the American League, but a guy who’s hungry.

Make that starving.

‘’Nothing else matters except that ring now,’’ Peavy said. ‘’I have done the other stuff. I know you need to put up the numbers. I’m financially blessed thanks to the game of baseball. To win the Cy Young was the coolest thing individually that I have done. But I’m not in the gym every morning now for the Cy Young. I want what the boys did in 2005. I want that dog pile, that memory, that ring. If you’re not dreaming of that same thing, I question where you are as an athlete.’’

Music to Cooper’s ears.

‘’Yeah, this is a little different animal,’’ Cooper said when asked to describe what he has in Peavy. ‘’I’ve been blessed enough to be around great players, winners, guys that achieved. He has all of those characteristics that a top-tier pitcher has.

‘’I can see why he says the only thing missing is a world championship because it’s something for him to obtain. The high of 2005 has worn off. Getting a guy on board that has only that on his mind is a valuable piece. You want that type of hunger, that type of team talk to be infectious. Things don’t happen for him by accident. I like having a guy that brings that type of hunger.’’

So what if it took longer than expected?

After initially rejecting the Sox’ advances, Peavy approved the trade July 31. An injured ankle sidelined him until late August. Then a line drive that struck his pitching elbow in a minor-league rehab start put him on the shelf until mid-September.

Many in the organization wanted Peavy to shut it down for the rest of the season.

But Peavy had heard the whispers that he rejected the Sox in May because he wanted to stay in the pitcher-friendly National League, that if he was going to go to Chicago, it would be on the North Side, that he was afraid of the AL.

His reply? A big middle finger.

He went on to win all three games he pitched in last season. Which places a nice exclamation point immediately after the aforementioned finger.

I know some Cubs’ fan bemoan the fact that their team did not get Peavy. They are taking too much away from Wells and what he brings to the mound every fifth day. With some better defense and an occasional hit he should easily be a 15 game winner, or better, for them next year. And what of Peavy? Well, he not only brings his considerable skills to the Southside, he brings a swagger and desire that seems to have been missing these last couple of seasons.

In other words, each team got the guy it needed. That alone should bring a couple of people in off the ledge.

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Before we get to the main topic of today’s blog, I would like to get some minor updates out of the way. The Bears have expanded their coaching search and are planning on talking to Mike Tice for a position somewhere. My guess would be somewhere on the offensive side of things, but one never knows. The Bulls’ Taj Gibson has been playing through plantar fasciitis which is painful as heck. Even so, he says he will be ready to play Thursday night. For the Hawks, Hossa is returning and Huet is going to start a little more. Either way, my guess is that they will keep on winning. For the Sox not much is going on. Kenny Williams made all his big moves before Christmas and now the team is just holding off season meetings and getting to know each other.

But, it is on the North Side where things seem to be getting interesting. The Cubs have started their annual Caravan tour leading up to their fan convention on the 15th. While some fans are looking in terror at the moves made in St. Louis, others are looking at this team and saying “You know what? I think they can do it this year.” Believe it or not, these people are sober. Over at MLB.com, CARRIE MUSKAT talks to the Cubs manager who seems to share the vision of these fans.

Pitchers and catchers report to Mesa, Ariz., for Spring Training in a month, and Lou Piniella is already talking about the World Series.

“I’m looking forward to a team that will win this division again and give itself another chance to go on and get a World Series win,” the Cubs’ manager said Wednesday at Harry Caray’s Restaurant, a stop on the winter caravan. “That’s what I’m hoping for, and that’s what we’re striving for.”

Piniella and the Cubs are coming off a second-place finish in the National League Central, which was a disappointment after winning the division in 2007 and ‘08. As for a World Series win, it’s been since 1908. Piniella, looking tanned and refreshed despite what he called “Chicago-ish” weather in Tampa, Fla., is still optimistic.

“If we can win 83 baseball games with all the problems we had last year and all the injuries on top of it—we lost 10 to 12 players for more than 30 days [in 2009], and that’s unbelievable,” Piniella said. “But if we can win 83 games with all those problems and all those injuries and we stay relatively healthy this year, we can add another eight, 10 wins and get to the postseason and win in the postseason.”

So, 93 wins will do it? Okay, if Lou says so, I’m in.

Even so, he may be on to something here. While I doubt that Soriano will ever again be the force he once was there is no reason that Soto and several others shouldn’t return to form. Assuming Big Z has his usual 14 game season and Silva gets sufficient bench time, the Cubs do look to improve over last year. Plus, as GORDON WITTENMEYER over at the Sun Times notes, there is valid element of addition by subtraction.

No Roy Halladay? No Chone Figgins? No fill-in-the-blank-check slugger for the middle of the order?

No problem, Cubs fans.

The Cubs might not have added much to their second-place team this winter, but manager Lou Piniella and the boys bring a new math to the 2010 equation, heavy on subtraction and with an emphasis on chemistry.

‘’If we can win 83 baseball games with all the problems we had last year, plus all the injuries we had,’’ Piniella said, ‘’then if we stay relatively healthy, I don’t see why we can’t add eight to 10 wins to this thing to get to the postseason—to get to postseason and win in postseason.’’

All the problems.

Plus the injuries.

In other words, erase headaches such as Milton Bradley from the roster and get pitcher Ted Lilly’s shoulder game-ready early in the season, and the disappointment of 2009 is erased. That would make this season about building off 2008 again.

For all the local hand-wringing about players the Cubs haven’t added during a payroll-capped offseason, it’s Bradley—the one they shed in the trade to the Seattle Mariners for pitcher Carlos Silva last month—who has caused the major dose of optimism for 2010 as the team gathers this week for the annual Cubs Convention.

It’s no wonder the good-guy nature of newly signed outfielder Marlon Byrd—and clubhouse chemistry in general—was the undercurrent of the pre-convention media event Wednesday at Harry Caray’s downtown.

How important is it to new teammates that Byrd is a good clubhouse guy?

‘’As opposed to what? Who are you implying?’’ pitcher Jeff Samardzija said, smiling. ‘’You hear a lot about the clubhouse growing up as a kid, but you never really know going into it. But after being here for a couple years and understanding the dynamics of it, it means a lot.’’

Yes, I used the same Piniella quote twice, but he must have said it 15 or 20 times yesterday, so it is kind of hard to avoid.

He also harped on another little item that put a smile on the faces of the Cubs fans in attendance.

‘’We’re going to start anew. I like the things we’ve done. We’re going to have a good ballclub this year. I’m looking forward to a team that will win this division again and give us another chance to move on and win the World Series.’’

There. He said it. In clear English without any mumbling. While, on a visceral level, I agree that winning the World Series should be the goal for every team every year (except in Washington and Kansas City) it has got to be somewhat painful to get annual reminders that it has only been a little century or so since the team actually accomplished that feat.

Oh well, I guess he couldn’t very well take the podium and say “We, really, really, really, just want to not suck.”

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What’s the big deal? The Cubs hold the record for a modern franchise. Not one they want, but it’s all their’s. They have gone the longest period of time between championships. And they show no signs of stopping the trend any time soon. I realize that it is fashionable to blame the Trib for all woes Cubbie, but they didn’t take over until the 80’s. William Wrigley before them and so on backwards through time.

The last owner to win a World Series with the Cubs was a guy named Charles Murphy, who bought the team in 1905, and he had to borrow money from a guy named Charles Taft to buy the team. Taft bought him out in 1914 and that was the end of that. Now the Cubs get the Ricketts family, headed by their patriarch Tom. He talked about the World Series being won in Chicago and mentioned that this year could be the year. Mostly, however, he has been putting in better urinals and talking about moving the team to Florida for Spring Training. Over at the Sun Times, CAROL SLEZACK took some time out of her busy day to look at where the Cubs stand for the upcoming season.

When Ricketts was introduced as chairman, he vowed to win the World Series, but he didn’t promise it would be in 2010. He seems content to let his first Cubs season play out how it will. That’s his prerogative, of course. But anyone who thinks this Cubs team will contend for the World Series this season is setting himself or herself up for major disappointment.

It’s true that Ricketts inherited a huge payroll comprised of many bad, inflexible contracts. Yet he didn’t have to accept the status quo. He could have insisted on change. He could have ordered Hendry to clean house. He could have eaten a bad contract or two. Really, what’s another $20 million to someone who just spent $845 million to buy the team? But Ricketts didn’t go that route. He chose to be conservative instead. The 2010 Cubs will look a lot like the 2009 Cubs, bad contracts and all.

I suppose Soriano might return to All-Star form, Geovany Soto might recapture his rookie-season form and a leadoff hitter and second baseman magically might appear. Yep, that might happen. But what about the starting rotation, which will be without left-hander Ted Lilly until at least May? Did you catch what pitching coach Larry Rothschild had to say about his rotation?

‘’We’re going to need to get a couple of guys to come out of nowhere and pitch well,’’ he told the Sun-Times this week.

Those words don’t inspire confidence. Neither does the fact that manager Lou Piniella will be in the final year of his contract. The Cubs will cross their fingers and hope a couple of guys emerge—from somewhere—and have great seasons. They will cross their fingers and hope Piniella can command respect in his lame-duck season. And they will hope the rest of the division flounders. That’s the game plan for 2010. Chicago might a big city, but the Cubs’ 2010 mentality is decidedly small-market.

It amazes me that a team can spend $140 million dollars and get called cheap. But that’s what happens when you are saddled with so many bloated contracts and aging players. Oh, and let’s not forget about Carlos Silva. People are so happy that Malignant Milty is gone that they seem to glaze over the fact that the Cubs have a pitcher in their rotation who is almost a guaranteed “L” every time he waddles to the mound.

Additionally, the Cubs need to deal with the park they play in. Carol takes a look at some of the plans they have in motion.

Of course, when the Ricketts family bought the Cubs, they also bought a rickety, old ballpark called Wrigley Field. In their first months of ownership, they have seemed at least as concerned about the ballpark as about the team itself. They want to modernize the park, but they also would like to open a restaurant or two in the triangle lot adjacent to the park. Maybe a hotel, too. Ideally, they would like to turn Wrigley Field into a year-round destination.

These revenue-maximizing ideas take careful planning, and they don’t come cheaply. Executive vice president of business operations Mark McGuire said that the organization has yet to finalize plans for the triangle lot and that work on that land won’t begin until after the 2010 season. The first order of business has been the ballpark itself.

‘’The Ricketts family wants the ballpark to look better on Opening Day than it ever has,’’ McGuire said.

And so it will. The washrooms are being modernized. The center-field scoreboard, which was deteriorating, is getting spruced up. A few mezzanine suites have been combined to create a club environment that holds about 80 people. The concrete ramps and steel underpinnings are getting some needed attention. And these improvements all have come at a cost. Although he declined to give specifics, McGuire said the team had spent ‘’in the millions’’ already on the renovations.

I’m sure fans will appreciate the changes. Many think they’re long overdue. Then again, so is that elusive World Series.

2011, anyone?

I can’t really blame Ricketts for trying to fix the park. A man needs a safe place to pee. I can blame him for surrounding himself with a group of people who shown consistently bad decision making skills. Moving the Spring Training facilities to Florida is already shaping up to be a bad idea. I can’t imagine one player getting giddy at the prospect of multiple, hours long, bus rides while the home games are played near a swamp. The hotels and restaurants around the park might be nice, but God only knows where they are going to put the cars. The neighborhood is already overloaded. And, at the end of the day, the team on the field, no matter how pretty said field may be, is still the same team that hasn’t won a playoff game since 2003.

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Let’s take a look at some basic facts and some innuendo that seems to have been verified by outside sources but not 100% confirmed, if that makes any sense. Anyway, thanks to CHRIS DE LUCA at the Sun Times for putting together this list.

MLB’S ALL-TIME HOME-RUN LIST
Barry Bonds 762**

Hank Aaron 755

Babe Ruth 714

Willie Mays 660

Ken Griffey Jr. 630

Sammy Sosa 609**

Frank Robinson 586

Mark McGwire 583*

Alex Rodriguez 583*

Harmon Killebrew 573

Rafael Palmeiro 569*

Jim Thome 564

Reggie Jackson 563

Mike Schmidt 548

Manny Ramirez 546*

*Linked to PEDs

**Reportedly linked to PEDs - Source: ESPN

If we remove the roiders and HGH freaks we would have a Top 10 list that more people might feel comfortable with. I know I would.

Hank Aaron 755

Babe Ruth 714

Willie Mays 660

Ken Griffey Jr. 630

Frank Robinson 586

Harmon Killebrew 573

Jim Thome 564

Reggie Jackson 563

Mike Schmidt 548

Mickey Mantle 536

Chris goes a little deeper and wonders when Suddenly Swollen Sammy (Cubs) or, as he was later known, Suddenly Shrunken Sammy (Orioles) will come clean.

The Steroid Era was conceived during those muscle-flexing World Series runs of the Oakland Athletics from 1988-1990. McGwire and Jose Canseco showcased for major-league players the rewards of cheating. Former San Francisco Giants slugger Barry Bonds reportedly made the leap to performance-enhancing drugs based on McGwire’s feats in 1998.

That was the year McGwire and Sosa supposedly helped rescue an ailing game. Now, McGwire admits he took steroids during that season.

‘’I wish I had never touched steroids,’’ McGwire said in his statement. ‘’It was foolish, and it was a mistake. I truly apologize. Looking back, I wish I had never played during the Steroid Era.’’

McGwire was hauled up to Capitol Hill five years ago and clammed up. Sosa forgot how to speak English. Clearly, the two hoped the whole story would quickly go away.

Sosa has remained awkwardly silent on the topic of performance-enhancing drugs since the New York Times reported last June that he was among the players who tested positive during Major League Baseball’s drug-testing survey in 2003.

The last time I spoke with Sosa was during his 2007 farewell season with the Rangers. Sosa confided that after his playing days, he longed for a reunion with the Cubs—despite their bitter breakup in February 2005. Maybe the Cubs would retire his number, he thought. Maybe he’d show up for spring training. Maybe he’d have an advisory role similar to the goodwill title bestowed on Greg Maddux on Monday.

The Cubs would never oblige until Sosa comes clean.

As for Maddux, he might be the only player in the next decade to pop up on a Hall of Fame ballot and not be dogged by steroid presumptions. He took the high road when asked about McGwire on Monday.

‘’I’ve always had a lot of respect for Mark McGwire,’’ Maddux said. ‘’He was one of the most intimidating hitters I’ve ever had to face. He was one of the toughest outs in the game back then.

‘’There was always speculation guys were on that stuff. You just had to try to pitch around it.’’

Steroids are a wonderful thing if you are injured and under strict medical supervision. If not, check out the fun things that can happen to you, courtesy of DRUG FREE DOT ORG.

The major effects of anabolic steroid use include liver tumors, jaundice, fluid retention, and high blood pressure. Additional side effects include the following: for men shrinking of the testicles, reduced sperm count, infertility, baldness, development of breasts; for women growth of facial hair, changes in or cessation of the menstrual cycle, deepened voice; for adolescents growth halted prematurely through premature skeletal maturation and accelerated puberty changes. Researchers report that users may suffer from paranoid jealousy, extreme irritability, delusions, and impaired judgment stemming from feelings of invincibility.

Actually, those last set of side effects do kind of remind me of one reporter* I write about from time to time. Well, it would explain a lot.

Nevertheless, that is not a list of things I would knowingly sign up for. While the short term effects can be reversed, if caught in time, McGwire used them for over a decade. Whatever he has done to himself will have permanent ramifications.

The same holds true for the rest of the men on that list who sport asterisks. The only ones who have not been directly implicated or admitted use are Bonds and Sosa. I wonder if there is anyone out there who even harbors the remotest chance that either gentleman will ever be inducted into the Hall of Fame? Personally, I would only be shocked and flabbergasted if they were.

Our very own antithesis of steroid abuse, South Side Slim, has already started a thread, so CLICK HERE TO BULK UP ON KNOWLEDGE

You take a Hall of Fame basketball player, surround him with midgets and Gary Coleman and then mug him on camera for laughs. What could possibly go wrong? Lots, it seems in hindsight. Our favorite little person at the Sun Times, ELLIOTT HARRIS, straightens out this tall tale.

Scottie Pippen has a small role in ‘’Midgets vs. Mascots,’’ a film that features Gary Coleman. Pippen must have been shortsighted on becoming involved in such a project.

OK, cue the press release that he issued Friday:

‘’In 2008, I agreed to play a cameo role in a movie titled ‘A Tribute to Big Red’ (now titled ‘Midgets vs. Mascots’ ). My role was scripted, and the first two scenes went off without any problems. During the third scene, I was told that four Little People, along with actor Gary Coleman, were going to become angry with something I said and storm off as the scene ends. Instead, they basically attacked me, with Gary Coleman apparently climbing on a chair behind me to hit me over the head with a phone (twice).

‘’A short fight ensued before I heard the film’s director yell, ‘Cut.’ As I recall, some of the Little People were laughing as the director explained that the scene was ‘sort of like an episode of the TV show ‘Punk’d.’ At that point, I left quickly without a clear understanding of what was going on.

‘’As for the Little Person who claims he was injured in the attack, I really don’t think I caused the injury or can be held to blame. To the best of my knowledge, there is no action being taken against me, nor am I pursuing any action. For the record, I have never seen the movie and, in hindsight, wish I’d not been involved with it. I simply wanted to make clear my role and position as I understand the movie is coming out soon. I will not be answering any further questions regarding the film.’’

I feel for Scotty. Many years ago I was an extra in a film. The director thought it would be funny as hell to have one of the film’s stars knock me over since I was so much taller than him. I was still thin in those days (**sigh**). And it might have been funny too, if someone had told me what was planned. Instead I was suddenly being shoved backwards and I did what almost anyone else would have done; I caught my balance and swung, thus leveling one celebrity and costing me my $35.00 for a day’s work. In retrospect, it was the best money I never made.

It is the difference between what makes Sasha Cohen funny and morons forgettable. The former may embarrass you, but he never physically assaults you. That is a line that should never be crossed. And, please don’t bring up Jackass and its related crew. They know exactly what they are doing and never do anything to the unsuspecting. It makes them ineligible for life insurance, but it doesn’t make them criminals.

In other moronic news, the Bears had their sites set on bringing in the volatile Bates to run the offense only to have him go to Seattle. Fewell is supposed to interview today for the defensive gig but made a very good impression in NY with the Giants and, according to some, the feeling is mutual. One thing to keep in mind here, as the Misers of the Midway lumber forward, Bates has never been an OC at any level. In other words, he would have come cheap. Anyone who thinks that wasn’t a factor has not been paying attention to the Bears. As to Fewell, he will not come cheap, friend of Lovie’s or no. While he too is a slave to the cover 2 scheme (except he has figured out how to make it work most of the time), he will not be coming in just to do the same old thing. I can easily see him favoring the stability that the Giants have shown over the quicksand that serves for turf at Halas Hall.

Memo to the nice people who are claiming that the Blackhawks are doomed because they have lost two in a row; please re-up your meds. You are scaring the sane ones around you.

CLICK HERE IF YOU KNOW WHAT THE HECK IS GOING ON

Today, THE CHICAGO TRIBUNE takes a look at who the Bears are considering to replace Ron Turner. They have come up with a very nice list of 7 candidates. They don’t seem to have listed them in any particular order. Rumors out of Halas Hall, which is all you will get by way of media relations from them, seem to indicate that Lovie and company are talking to the people he doesn’t know first before talking to his chums.

Considering how well Lovie and Chums (also the name of a bad rock band from Palos Hills) have done in the past, this may be a good idea. I sincerely doubt that the idea originated with Lovie (TRUST ME) Smith. Which means it is probably a good idea. Anyway, here are the seven candidates that the Trib came up with and their unedited commentary on each.

Tom Clements
The Packers quarterbacks coach has done a fine job developing Aaron Rodgers, and previously coached Elvis Grbac, Kordell Stewart and Tommy Maddox to Pro Bowl seasons. The quarterback at Notre Dame who preceded Joe Montana, Clements had a successful professional playing career in the Canadian League. Before embarking on his coaching career, he practiced law and lived in the Chicago area. His familiarity with the NFC North is a plus.

Jim Fassel
He has a proven record of getting talented quarterbacks to play to their potential, having gotten results from John Elway, Phil Simms and Kerry Collins, among others. Fassel has been a coordinator for the Giants, Broncos, Cardinals and Ravens. He also took the Giants to the Super Bowl and was voted NFL coach of the year in 1997. He most recently served as the head coach of the Las Vegas Locomotives of the United Football League.

Chan Gailey
The former head coach of the Cowboys and Georgia Tech, Gailey had his greatest success as the offensive coordinator for the Steelers in the mid 90s. He has found ways to make his offense work with different kinds of quarterbacks, from John Elway to Kordell Stewart. Gailey also worked for Dave Wannstedt as the offensive coordinator of the Dolphins for two seasons. Gailey has been out of work since being fired by the Chiefs three games into the season.

Mike Martz
“Mad Mike” created some of the most prolific offenses of the Super Bowl era, and has had a track record of making stars out of quarterbacks who previously were considered rank and file guys. Among the passers he has given life to with his Don Coryell-style offense are Trent Green, Kurt Warner, Marc Bulger and Jon Kitna. Known for his aggressive passing game and dictating offenses, Martz can be a defensive coordinator’s nightmare. He hired Lovie Smith to run his defense in St. Louis, and also was an assistant on the Arizona State staff with Smith. In his time in St. Louis, Martz helped the Rams get to two Super Bowls and win one. He since served as the offensive coordinator for the Lions (where he worked for Rod Marinelli) and the 49ers. He spent the 2009 season out of football, working as an analyst for NFL Network.

Bill Musgrave
This is a West Coast coach who likely would run a system similar to Ron Turner’s. Musgrave played in a West Coast system for the 49ers and Cowboys, and later coached the scheme as a coordinator for the Panthers and Jaguars. He is currently the Falcons’ quarterbacks coach, and his work with Matt Ryan has made him a candidate for a promotion.

Al Saunders
Currently an offensive consultant for the Ravens, Saunders has a long history of giving defenses problems. He is a disciple of Don Coryell, having worked for Coryell and succeeded him as head coach of the Chargers. Saunders runs the Coryell offense, which would be a radical departure from the Bears previous offense, but probably play well with Jay Cutler and the Bears’ wide receivers. He also has been worked for a number of the preeminent minds of the game in recent years, including Joe Gibbs, Marty Schottenheimer, Dick Vermeil and Mike Martz. His Kansas City offenses were the best in the league statistically from 2002 through 2005.

Jeremy Bates
His first qualification for the job is he gets along well with Jay Cutler, having been his quarterbacks coach in Denver. But he also is known as an extremely hard working, brilliant young coach who learned a lot from Jon Gruden and Mike Shanahan. He also worked with Rod Marinelli when he was an offensive quality control coach for the Bucs. Bates, the son of longtime NFL assistant coach Jim Bates, currently is the assistant head coach and quarterbacks coach at Southern Cal. The 33-year old never has coordinated an offense at any level, and his maturity has been questioned.

As to Bates, rumors are very conflicted. Half of what I have heard states that Pete Carrol would pack his bags and drive him to LAX to get him out of town. The other half have him and Carrol attached at the hip and, should Carrol go to to Seattle, that Bates would be there one heartbeat later.

You may have opinions one way or the other on each of the candidates. I know I do. But the fact that the gene pool seems to be a little deeper than usual for the Bears is a good sign. Now, if the same holds true on the defensive search and they don’t just grab Fewell (a Lovie clone), then that small flicker of light at the end of the tunnel may not be an oncoming train.

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Since this is going to be about something important, you already know that it has nothing to do with the Bears. As coaches around the league run to other, less glamorous, jobs before their phones can even ring, the Bears are assured of getting the bottom of the barrel when all is said and done. The Bulls? No, not them either. As much as I like this team, they keep inventing new ways to lose. I know it is fashionable to blame Del Negro, but not even on a 5 day bender would he tell his team to take nothing but outside jumpers. Maybe they need to see that memo again that “Control the paint!” is not the new marketing slogan from Benjamin Moore. The Cubs? Nothing to talk about there. They traded the worst team mate in the history of baseball for one of the worst pitchers around and started talking about the World Series. As in playing in it, not just setting aside time for it on TV. The Sox? Nope. Their message boards are being flooded with fans who seem upset that all the Sox might do this year is win their division. I missed the memo where winning your division was a bad thing. Yes, I know, the fans want more than that, but it seems premature to be talking about that before Spring Training even starts.

So, what do we talk about? Why the most important trend setter in sports today. Patrick Kane’s mouth guard.

No.

Really.

Quit laughing. I’m being serious here.

Breaking away from the usual fluff at the Sun Times, RICK MORRISSEY takes a hard hitting look at what is going on in Kane’s mouth.

This is silly, I know. There are so many more important issues in the world. War. Poverty. The environment. In sports, we have the Bears’ follies, Gilbert Arenas’ gun show and college football’s annual playoff debate.

But ...

It’s just that, well, the thing is ... Patrick Kane’s mouth guard.

It tends to wander.

While most players keep their mouth guards in their mouths, the Blackhawks’ star often chews his during breaks in the action, letting it dangle, half in and half out, usually from the right side of his mouth. He looks like a lake trout that has just chomped down on an artificial lure and is about to be reeled in.

Yet there’s something Hollywood cool about it. And the look is becoming big.

Kane and his white mouth guard are on the cover of EA Sports’ ‘’NHL 10’’ video game. There now is a Kane bobblehead with a protruding mouth guard.

At their fan convention in July, the Hawks auctioned one of Kane’s used mouth guards for $4,000, which went to charity. That’s a 4 and three 0s for a piece of gnawed rubber.

‘’I’ve got to get in on that,’’ Kane said, laughing.

The Hawks would sell chips of United Center ice if they thought they could get away with it, so it’s hard to believe they haven’t conjured up the Official Patrick Kane Mouth Guard. It doesn’t take much imagination to picture a skating army of Kane Youth using mouth guards that refuse to make a full commitment to mouths.

You just don’t see old school journalism like that any more.

Okay, I kid.

What’s fun about this article is that it could be written at all. It was not that long ago that the Hawks could have held Human Sacrifice Night and no one would have blinked. They were so far off the local radar that Tom Skilling couldn’t find them. Now players are on the covers of video games, magazines and find that even their most mundane habits are fodder for the mainstream media.

As a long suffering hockey fan, this is a nice change of pace. The Hawks are young, good and, thanks to Patrick Kane, just the right touch of silly. It is going to be an enjoyable year to be a Hawks’ fan.

Just FYI, the Hawks beat the Bruins last night 5-2.

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I had the pleasure of meeting Andre Dawson a couple of years before he retired. It was at one of those ubiquitous charity events that my old job had me attending for good will purposes. Mostly I went for beer and dinner. Anyway, as fate would have it, he and I ended up near the bar at the same time and wound up chatting for about 15 minutes. I’m afraid he didn’t pass along any useful hitting tips or anything like that. We talked about Tom Dreesen, who was hosting that night, and a little about baseball and then he said something I never forgot; “I can’t believe that people still pay to see me play this game. I have to be the luckiest man in the world.”

That wasn’t some tripe foisted just for hype, Dawson truly cared about the game and its fans. It showed clearly that night and in any other interviews I have seen. The man loved baseball.

Depending on how you massage his numbers, he is either a great player truly worthy of the Hall of Fame or a marginal guy who got in so that the Hall could justify keeping Bonds, et al, out. Over at the Tribune, PHIL ROGERS takes the former view.

One of the best outfielders of his generation, and one of nine players to win a National League Most Valuable Player Award playing for the Cubs, Dawson had to wait through eight annual disappointments before getting the good news Wednesday from the Baseball Writers Association of America. An increase of 59 votes to 420 of the 539 cast got him beyond the 75-percent threshold that is the Hall of Fame’s standard.

Though no other players were elected—Bert Blyleven fell five votes short of the 405 needed and Roberto Alomar eight—Dawson won’t go into the Hall on July 25 alone—the Veterans Committee last month selected manager Whitey Herzog and umpire Doug Harvey.

Dawson, who retired after the 1996 season, didn’t seem to mind the nine-ballot judgment once he knew it was over. In fact, during a conference call with voters, it was Dawson who apologized. He told writers from Chicago and Montreal he was sorry for having kept them waiting so long after games for his comments.

When Dawson kept reporters waiting, he wasn’t being rude. He was consistently one of the last players out of the training room, seemingly always nursing knees that were damaged so badly on the highway-firm artificial turf of Montreal’s Olympic Stadium that he first pondered retirement in 1980, when he was only 26.

“I almost quit the game after four years because I had a fractured knee,” said Dawson, who would play long enough to pile up 438 home runs, 1,591 runs batted in and 314 stolen bases. “My wife sat me down, said, ‘This is not something you need to do. You will regret it in a year or two. Whatever you need to do to correct it, you need to do.’ ... I always was lucky to have people around me who told me what I needed to hear.”

A big-leaguer at 22, Dawson would slug his way to the MVP award he won on a last-place Cubs team in 1987. But he was so much more than a slugger at the start of his career.

While helping the Expos’ franchise establish itself, he was a true five-tool player. He could win games by stealing bases or throwing out runners with his strong right arm. How many people remember that he won half of his eight Gold Glove awards playing center field? He moved to right field only when a kid named Tim Raines arrived from the Expos’ rich pipeline of amateur talent.

Watching Dawson in his later years you still saw flashes of the player he had been in his prime. He walked away from the game when he felt that those flashes had been coming too far apart. The epitome of dignity on and off the field, he is a great representative of the game and I am glad he got in. Even so, the other argument I posited earlier has merit as well and we would be remiss if we didn’t look at it too. The Sun Times very own RICK MORRISSEY spells it out nicely.

Letting the puffed-up stars of the Steroid Era into the Hall would be like letting arsonists into the Fire Fighters Hall of Fame. The heartbreak of that time period is that no one can totally escape suspicion. Show me a player who suddenly found power during the 1980s, 1990s or 2000s, and I’ll show you a raised eyebrow. Show me a player who suddenly gained muscle mass, and I’ll show you the glare of the nonbeliever.

Dawson, who played 11 years with Montreal and six with the Cubs, was wiry strong his entire career. He looks very much the same today—the same ridiculously skinny waist holding up the same solid upper body. He had one season that popped out—49 home runs and 137 runs batted in to win the 1987 most valuable player award while a Cub—but never put together a string of seasons with outrageous power numbers.

If you’re going to look skeptically at that MVP season, then you’re going to have to question Derrek Lee’s 2005 season for the Cubs—46 home runs and 107 RBI—when he hadn’t come within 14 home runs of that before. That seems silly.

No, I think when you look for evidence of PEDs, you look for a pattern and a change in body shape.

More than anything, you give players the eyeball test. Does something seem suspicious? Do they suddenly start to look Cro-Magnon?

If Dawson is the latest example of someone making the Hall because of baseball’s past sins, so be it. He has no reason to apologize. He had very good numbers—a .279 career average, 1,591 RBI and 314 stolen bases.

He finished second twice for the MVP award and won eight Gold Glove awards. He hit 438 home runs in 21 seasons. Five hundred home runs used to be considered a minimum requirement for entrance into the Hall, but then players started pulling syringes out of their scabbards.

When former Boston star Jim Rice got in last year with a .298 average, 382 home runs and 1,451 RBI, it paved the way for The Hawk’s entrance.

Rice was inducted, in part, because voters started to realize that naturally grown numbers are the best and safest kind of numbers, even if they might be a bit smaller. (The baseball writers weren’t willing to go so far as to say the notoriously ornery Rice was a nice guy. That would have involved major pharmaceutical help.)

One thing of note, it has long been rumored that Dawson wasn’t all that keen on personal publicity. Not that he avoided people, just that he wasn’t a limelight hog. Take a look at the baseball card above and smile. He didn’t even bother taking the weights off the bat to get the picture out of the way and get back to the game he loved.

Whatever the reasoning behind the Hall’s voters, Dawson is in and that can never be taken away from him. I, for one, can’t wait to hear his induction speech.

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Listening to Ron Turner espouse that he “did the best job I could with what I had” was just the tip of the stupidity iceberg that floated out of Halas Hall yesterday. Ignore, if you can, the fact that he was dead wrong in his assessment. When drunks in a bar can call out the plays the offense is going to run, you can be 100% sure that no professional defense was baffled by them.

Amused? Yes. But not baffled.

Suffice it to say that his play calling was a tad predictable. And his alleged development of players was a bitter rumor on the best of days. I could go on, but he’s gone and there is no point belaboring the obvious. He will end up somewhere, all bad coaches do, and the world will continue to revolve. Just not around him anymore.

Over at the Tribune DAVID HAUGH manages to clarify exactly what happened yesterday. And he is none to pleased with it.

This wasn’t coach Lovie Smith uttering his infamous “trust me” demand as he fired popular and successful defensive coordinator Ron Rivera fresh off a Super Bowl XLI appearance.

This was Ted Phillips, in so many words, asking everybody in Chicago to trust him this time.

This was the Bears president, at the end of a third straight season of missing the playoffs, endorsing general manager Jerry Angelo and Smith. And for you to trust that endorsement.

To trust in Smith’s 23-25 record since that Super Bowl.

To trust that firing offensive coordinator Ron Turner and five assistants, as well as stripping Smith of defensive play-calling duties, was an adequate response to an awful season.

Trust me, it wasn’t, regardless of the rhetoric at Tuesday’s news conference.

This wasn’t a housecleaning at Halas Hall. This was light dusting.

Calling the 2009 season “probably the most frustrating year since I’ve been here,” Phillips insisted keeping the coach and GM but hiring new coordinators qualified as “massive change.”

Massive change would have been sending a limo to O’Hare to pick up Bill Cowher or Mike Shanahan. Massive change would be forcing Angelo to choose his retirement villa. Firing Turner and reducing Smith’s workload, in the big picture, falls under the category of bureaucratic restructuring.

The core philosophy will remain the same. The core of the roster likely won’t change. Assistant offensive line assistant Luke Butkus will lose his job after a 7-9 season but neither Angelo nor Smith will?

“We’ve had three seasons of no playoffs, so status quo was not an option and changes were necessary,” Phillips said with team matriarch Virginia McCaskey sitting in the balcony flanked by sons Brian, George and Michael. “In the last three years, it was clear that no one did a good enough job. ... I know some may disagree but I feel the fastest way to improve is to keep the continuity that we have.”

Smith goes on to say that the defensive scheme that everyone except Detroit figured out 3 years ago will still be the scheme employed by the Bears. If that is the continuity of which Mr. Phillips so eloquently spoke, then we are all screwed.

Anyway, let’s take a moment to ponder what remains. The Bears need an offensive coordinator who can get the hand he’s been dealt to work as a cohesive unit for an entire season. He will need to figure out how to keep Cutler upright for the majority of the season and, whether it is the primary focus or not, will need a running game to help keep the backfield clear of opponents’ jerseys. It might help if he can also get players to play in their correct positions.

Oh, and he need to be able to do this all in a year or he will be fired along with everyone else.

As long as there’s no pressure.

Now, to the defense. If, as Lovie Smith claimed yesterday, the Bears are seriously going to continue lining up safeties 17 yards off the line of scrimmage and run painfully obvious blitzes, that limits the number of defensive minds who would be willing to come here.

In fact, I couldn’t come up with one viable name.

Who, in their right mind, would jump at this opportunity? And, would you really want anyone who did? Could you really get excited about someone for whom mediocrity is the gold standard?

All this was yesterday was a massive display of arrogance. Angelo acknowledged that he had heard from passionate fans and then went on to blithely ignore them and, worse yet, do nothing that really upgrades this team. As David noted, “This wasn’t a housecleaning at Halas Hall. This was light dusting.”

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Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. - Albert Einstein

The Bears are making lots of noise like they are going to keep Lovie Smith, the coach with the gaudy 23-25 record over 3 seasons when everything went his way. While it looks like Ron ”Why do they call it ‘football’ if you hold it in your hands?” Turner is gone, rumors seem to indicate that Babich and Marinelli might stick around. The former being the one guy who singlehandedly ruined the Bears defense and the latter is a guy whose main claim to fame is losing every game in a season. Not some, not most but all of them.

Yeah, I’m getting my 2011 Superbowl tickets right now. Aren’t you?

Tribune writer, BRAD BIGGS notes how screwed up the Bears really are. The General Manager can only “general manage” with permission. That being the case, why does the job exist at all? Oh well, I’ll let Brad fill in the insane details.

At the end of a season gone awry, victories over the Vikings and Lions didn’t buy Lovie Smith as much time as the $11 million remaining on his contract.

The Bears will announce at a news conference at 2 p.m. Tuesday at Halas Hall that Smith will be back for a seventh season, the third-longest tenure of any coach in franchise history, but that decision is expected to come with strings attached.

It is expected that Smith will make changes to his staff, moves that could include the removal of offensive coordinator Ron Turner. There is also a chance the Bears will seek a defensive coordinator from the outside.

Smith met with general manager Jerry Angelo and President Ted Phillips for much of Monday, and it is expected the three men will present a united front before the cameras after the team finished out of the playoffs for the third consecutive season.

“It will all be covered,” team spokesman Scott Hagel said.

Angelo said in Baltimore two weeks ago that money would not factor into his decision, but his only say in the process was a recommendation to Phillips and the McCaskeys.

Smith guided the Bears to Super Bowl XLI just three years ago, but the Bears are 23-25 since and the defense continued to struggle at times, this year with Smith making the calls.

Angelo made a blockbuster trade for quarterback Jay Cutler in April, but the defense was every bit as responsible for struggles in a midseason stretch when the team lost eight of 10 games.

The Bears kept Smith away from media as players cleaned out their lockers and embarked on a journey into an uncertain offseason.

They’ve been stumping for Smith for weeks, and why not? Smith holds the keys to the future of many veterans, and they appreciate the way he handles them.

By “handle” Brad means “coddle.” It is well known that Lovie gives the vets more time off than any other coach. While there may be some logic in it, as in helping preserve a career, it doesn’t seem to work out so well when it comes to communication between team mates. You can’t get to know the people you aren’t playing with. Since we have seen far too many examples of blown coverages, miscues and downright confusion over the last three years it would seem that something might need to be changed.

It would seem, but it ain’t gonna happen.

Over at the Sun Times, SEAN JENSEN takes a look at how this could actually get worse instead of better thanks to the brilliant financial planning of the Bears.

With their 2009 season over, the Bears’ brass on Monday initiated internal discussions on the future of coach Lovie Smith and his staff.

The organization’s $11 million commitment to Smith—whether he coaches or not—is believed to be a factor in the decision.

But that figure is pittance compared to the daunting figures facing the Bears as they prepare for an unpredictable 2010 offseason.

The Bears traditionally build their roster through the draft, but they will be without their first- and second-round picks. And any temptation to build through free agency is tempered by their salary-cap health and the implications of the contentious labor negotiations between the NFL and its players association.

The Bears are one of 10 teams to already have $100 million in salary-cap space committed for 2010, and their present total of $107 million is eighth in the league—well behind the league-leading Dallas Cowboys ($136 million), according to a league source.

Still more alarming is that the Bears have $42.4 million (or nearly 40 percent) of that cap space assumed by six players on a defense that finished the 2009 season ranked 17th overall.

Middle linebacker Brian Urlacher ($10.32 million), defensive tackle Tommie Harris ($8.78 million), outside linebacker Lance Briggs ($7.36 million), defensive end Alex Brown ($6.22 million) and cornerbacks Nathan Vasher ($4.91 million) and Charles Tillman ($4.81 million) occupy six of the top eight salary-cap slots on the team, but only one of those (Briggs) has earned a Pro Bowl spot in the last two seasons.

If the Bears are going to clear some space or acquire draft picks, according to two team executives, the aforementioned players are the most obvious targets.

Since you need at least 33 guys on any given Sunday, using 40% of your available money on just 6 of them doesn’t seem like the brightest move. But, and here is where things get scary for Bears’ fans if they trade some of those players away for draft picks, then Jerry Angelo will be the guy who selects the players in the draft. And, as we all know, nothing good ever has come of that.

See Einstein’s quote above, in case you forgot.

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Beating Detroit is like being the best rapper in Utah. Like being the prettiest girl at an all boys school. Like being ejected from a game of solitaire. Like reliving your 5th grade TD on your 40th birthday. Like celebrating the new paneling in your 15 year old apartment, which just happens to be in your mother’s basement. In other words, beat Detroit and no one cares.

Yesterday’s clash of the bad and the godawful featured some exciting football. That is, it did if you are enthralled by field goal kickers. After the game people used the word “potential” like it was a mantra. I am sure that you have noted when groups of people start spouting the same line over and over again they are one step away from a Kool-Aid inspired tragedy.

More importantly, it is no longer just me who noted how predictable the Bears’ offense has become. DAVID HAUGH (Tribune) notes that others have picked up on it as well.

For the Bears to avoid making next season’s finale meaningless too, GM Jerry Angelo needs to start attacking a to-do list Monday morning as soon as he and Smith finish high-fiving over the fact they survived this.

It’s a long list.

It should start with thanking offensive coordinator Ron Turner for five solid, professional seasons before confirming the change everybody knows is coming. One former Bears offensive player who played under Turner told the Tribune last week he was watching the Bears and was amused how many plays he could predict based on formation and field position. Imagine how opposing defensive coordinators must feel preparing for an offense lacking innovation.

If Turner leaves, then surely quarterbacks coach Pep Hamilton will follow. Jay Cutler already may have cleaned out Hamilton’s office. Offensive line coach Harry Hiestand came to the Bears from Illinois with Turner and figures to leave with him too.

Next Angelo needs to start finding offensive coaches willing to work in a playoffs-or-bust environment in 2010—no easy task. He can start by calling Mike Martz.

I have changed my mind about Martz. When it appeared he was lobbying for Turner’s job last month, it smacked of a desperate coach undercutting a friend. But after Martz cleared up the misunderstanding—he flatly denied showing interest—the notion makes sense given the circumstances facing him and the Bears.

Martz maintains a good relationship with Smith, wants back in the NFL badly and the possibility of a one-and-done stint wouldn’t scare him. The Bears need a credible play-caller to sell their fan base, and locker room, and not many NFL offensive minds are more respected than Martz’s.

A potential clash with Cutler exists, but the Bears could assuage their quarterback by luring buddy Jeremy Bates—Cutler’s quarterbacks coach with the Broncos—away from USC. The combination of Martz and Bates would revive a moribund offense.

So, all of the salient indicators seem to state that we will see Smith back. Fine. Then not only must Turner go, but that hodgepodge of defensive minds must be escorted out of the building and advised to discover new career callings. I hear that Taco Bell is hiring.

Sun Times writer, SEAN JENSEN, who gets his cherry popped today with his first appearance on JTJ, is as underwhelmed by the defense as you can be.

Aside from the victory over the Vikings, the Bears struggled against the NFL’s better teams. Their other six wins came against five teams (they beat the Lions twice) with a combined 13 victories. Against their eight opponents with winning records, the Bears were 2-8 and were outscored by 124 points (294-170).

And the Bears took a step backward in nearly every capacity. They dropped two more games than in 2008, slipped as an offense and only marginally improved as a defense.

Long gone are the days of the dominant defense. The unit was ranked 21st entering Sunday’s game. The Bears allowed 30 or more points four times this season.

And while young offensive players such as receivers Devin Aromashodu and Johnny Knox and offensive tackle Chris Williams flashed some potential, the young defensive players continued to raise more questions than answers, namely defensive end Gaines Adams.

In his last three games, Adams—whom the Bears acquired from the Tampa Bay Buccaneers in October for a second-round pick—had just three tackles, though he did force a fumble Sunday.

‘’There’s no doubt in my mind that some emerged, but others are going to have to do more than emerge,’’ Briggs said. ‘’They’ll have to be impact players for us.’’

Exactly whom they make an impact for remains to be seen.

Defensively, fewer tasks await Angelo but none more daunting than the conversation he must have with Smith. The one that begins, “Lovie, fire your defensive play-caller.” Smith admitted Sunday the double duty was “a chore,” and doing both jobs resulted in him doing neither one very well. No other changes on the defensive staff are necessary other than adding a coordinator.

Start that search by pursuing Bills interim head coach Perry Fewell. Fewell, unlikely to get the full-time job in Buffalo, spent the 2005 season coaching Bears defensive backs before leaving to run the Bills defense. He left on good terms and would command respect from players who were around in ‘05.

At his point, I’ve really got nothing to add. If the Bears keep Babich and Marinelli, then we can all just get excited about the Cubs and Sox next fall. I have belabored the fact that the Bears are bad so often that it is starting to effect my dreams. While I can’t speak on your behalf, I do not want the vapid visage of Lovie Smith entering my dreams of warm beaches and optional bikinis. Not even Ray Harryhausen could make that palatable.

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