It’s Monday. The traditional back to work day for the masses. For many of those masses, it is the day after mass. So, you could say that Monday is the massive post mass massing of the masses. But, I hope you won’t.

Angel Guzman, of the Cubs, is going to be spending his Monday talking to doctors about the severely torn ligament in his throwing shoulder. I asked a buddy of mine, who is a sports doctor, what Guzman’s chances were of returning to play baseball. She said (based solely on currently published reports), “Very slim. If he just has rehab, then he will regain function of the arm but will be unlikely to be able to regain the motion required for pitching. If he has surgery, he should regain the motion, but the power and control will most likely be gone.” This poor guy just can’t catch a break.

However, it is a gray day outside and I don’t want to pile any more depressing news on you, so I am going to focus on some fun stuff instead. On the Northside, the Sun Times very own, ELLIOTT HARRIS reports that Ernie Banks has been pitching a film idea to Harold “Ghost Busters” Ramis about the Cubs.

COMEDY CUB: Ernie’s the pitchman for a Ramis

Let’s film, too.

After Harold Ramis was honored at Saturday’s Landmark Legends Gala at the Palmer House Hilton (along with Mr. Cub Ernie ‘’Let’s Play Two’’ Banks and businessman/Chicago marathon founder Lee Flaherty), Quick Hits had but one question for the multitalented movie man:

With ‘’Ghostbusters 3’’ in the works, shouldn’t there be a ‘’Groundhog Day 2’’—possibly with a Cubs theme?

‘’Ernie Banks already pitched me a movie,’’ Ramis said. ‘’He wants me to do the ‘Caddyshack’ of baseball about the Cubs.’’

Would a Cubs-themed ‘’Groundhog Day 2’’—with a happy ending—be too implausible?

‘’They win the [World] Series in the ending?’’ Ramis pondered. He stroked his beard. ‘’I’m not sure.’’

OK, so would the Cubs movie be a comedy or a tragedy?

‘’Comedy,’’ Banks said. ‘’[It would be] when the Cubs win the World Series, [featuring] players from each generation.’’

Sounds more like science fiction. Especially that part about winning the World Series.

‘’On DVD,’’ Banks said. ‘’Bill Murray will be in it. Whoopi Goldberg will be in it. People who follow the Cubs for more than 30 years can get a DVD in the wintertime and look at the Cubs in a World Series.’’

If that’s not a Hollywood ending, nothing is.

What was not noted in the article is that Bill Murray will be depicting Alfonso Soriano and Whoopi Goldberg will be portraying Carlos Zambrano.

Who knows? After Major League came out Cleveland went from door mats to perennial contenders. At least for a while. It could be a good thing.

Or it could be one of those things that would haunt Cubs fans for all time. But, we’ll never know until they make it, so stick around.

On the Southside, TONI GINETTI, also of the Sun Times, reports that Jake Peavy has gotten Omar Vizquel to sing country music.

Nope, you just can’t make this stuff up.

WOODJOCK?

Jake Peavy can wing it.

And he can pick it.

With a guitar, that is.

The newest White Sox ace is proving he is a man of more than just pitching talent as he settles in with the team. He will use one of those extra talents, as a country music fan and player, to help raise money for the Jake Peavy Foundation, which helps a number of organizations, including White Sox Charities. Peavy and teammates Scott Linebrink, Omar Vizquel and Gordon Beckham will be on stage with seven other major leaguers on Thursday for a benefit in Scottsdale called Woodjock Jam Fest.

‘’It’s just a fun way to raise money that’s different than the usual golf tournaments people use to raise money,’’ Peavy said. ‘’We’re super excited about it. It’s going to be a blast.’’

The event expects to draw an audience of about 1,400 to The Venue in Scottsdale.

‘’I’ve played and recorded some before, but never before a crowd like this,’’ Linebrink said. ‘’It’s going to be a little nerve-racking, but it can be a fun deal.’’

The cast includes Barry Zito, Bernie Williams, Bronson Arroyo, Tim Flannery, Aubrey Huff, Brandon Medders and Ben Broussard. Vizquel doesn’t quite fit the ‘’country’’ image, ‘’but he’s my locker-mate, and I said, ‘If you want to come and sing, come on,’’’ Peavy said. ‘’It’s designed to be fun for the fans and us, and in the end we’ll raise money for some great causes.’’

Among the causes are Strikeouts for Troops, which will host 22 injured servicemen attached to the Wounded Warrior Battalion West to the event. Also benefiting will be White Sox Charities, a local autism organization called Autism Speaks and Team Focus USA, an Alabama-based outreach program mentoring fatherless young men.

All worthy causes. It saddens me that I can’t attend, but it is good to know that, even in my august absence, a lot of people are going to have fun and help others. Plus, just the idea of Omar Vizquel busting out a Latin tinged version of Kawa-Liga should be worth the price of admission.

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