Rumors are swirling that the Sun-Times has asked Jay to take a "vacation" for a little bit. This all seems very suspicious seeing as it is the week of the second Cubs/Sox series... While we at Jay the Joke certainly appreciate any day that doesn't feature waking up to Jay's column, we can't help but be a little curious as to where he is. That's where our faithful army of supporters comes in. We need your help finding Jay! -- If anyone knows his home address I think we can all agree that is a safe place to check. You know that Jay has one of those bizarre contraptions where you hang upside down in order to get a little taller. I'm imagining a scenario where Jay accidentally breaks both arms during this "inversion" and cannot get back into the upright position. I figure the blood would rush to his head and eventually cause him to black out. -- Is it too much of a stretch that believe that Ozzie's slur against Jay was rooted in truth? London's Pride Parade is this weekend in England. There are three reasons this might be the pride parade Jay refuses to miss: 1. He is a sucker for the accent. 2. He feels freer outside of our country. 3. He feels he looks much "buffer" in his British Flag speedo than his American Flag speedo. Again, this is all speculation, but if anyone could monitor the parade for Jay (he'll probably be on roller blades), we'd really appreciate it. -- Could somebody please drive to Pennsylvania and look in Geno Mariotti's windows? It wouldn't surprise me to see Jay curled up in his father's lap, sobbing as his dad runs his fingers through Jay's pompadour. And please don't worry about us. We've hired a bodyguard and told him to look out for a short guy with a face full of rage.