One note, please read Telander’s column today. He is actually able to write things like “I asked Taylor”, proving that he was actually at the game to get responses from the participants.

Also, how about Jay’s column from last week where he proclaimed that the Bears should feel free to look past the Dolphins to next week’s game with the Giants. I notice that he made no mention of that in today’s column. Apparently the Bears weren’t the only ones to underestimate the Fins.

Pat, you did not mention the most laughable part of F***tard’s column* where he bitches and whines about all the “nasty stuff” that people say about Him.

Clearly the F***tard is getting really irritated by us.

Good.

Even His most trustworthy minion Peters@n has turned coat against Him.

More:
http://firethefucktard.blogspot.com/

I don’t like Woody Paige, but it might be funny to watch around the horny nerds today. He does not like Brian Griese, and griese has become jay’s latest man crush.
Hey, Rex sucked yesterday, so did Tom Brady, so did (in John Madden voice, get ready to groan) Brett Favre. Rex has not gone through a full season yet. He is still going through growing pains. I forgot to mention, Rothlisberger has sucked the entire year.

You know, I think F***tard is right on the money regarding his column today. There are only so many games in a season in the NFL and sorry to say but every game is important. It’s not like anyother sport where we play 80-100 games a season. If Grossman can’t get the job done (he looked like shit in the Arizona game and looked even shittier yesterday) than maybe Griese should get a chance. What starts happening if we lose the Giants game, then against Denver, then to who next?
Look, I was at the game- it diffinately wasn’t all Grossman’s fault, but something has to change- why not him?

This is worth discussion. Thanks Jamel.

Curious what others think but I would give Grossman one more start.

If he tanks against the Giants, then consider switching over to Griese.

If you switch now and Griese bombs next week, then what, go to Kyle Orton?

My humble 2 cents but it seems to me that a quarterback switch rarely benefits teams.

Just ask Parcells.

Anybody out there today?

I think the Mariotti is the new god of columnist- great work today Jay- getting better and better by the column. That N.F.L- Not For Long- statement is classic- pure gold. Jay knew all along that the Bears were all hype- they just got lucky for 7 games if you ask me. It’s all downhill from here. I say bears lose ALL of their remaining games. Plus, Rex the Hex is way more fitting than Rex the Wonder Bear. Yank Rex out- he blows- put in Griese- if he blows put in Orton. I think Orton’s the best QB they got anyway- they just haven’t really given him the opportunity to throw the ball- Lovie the Loser Bear always pressured him to play to NOT lose, he didn’t let Orton the Dorkon play to WIN.
My humble 2 cents- Bears suck!- Jay is right- if Grossman has 6 days to prove himself, if he can’t....HE GONE!
Look, Jay doesn’t go back and forth, he just moves with the times- that’s what Lovie should be doing- adopting to the situation. Bears need help- let’s get a change in their before it’s too late.

This article is a perfect example of why Mariotti is not respected as a writer and should not be employed as a blogger, I mean “writer” in a major market. 

The Bears had a bad game and instead of offering insight into the loss and where he thinks the Bears are going this year, Jay offers a wild bombastic article that sounds like it was written like a little drunken angry Bears fan right after the game.  After the game even I was pretty pissed at Grossman, but in no way do I think pulling Grossman is the answer.

Once again in no way does Jay reflect what Bears fans are thinking or want to happen.  The clown prince of Chicago journalism is at it again and does he ever suck!

Who would you rather have leading the Bears?
1) “Sexy Ice Ice Rexy”
2) Brian the I hurt myself dripping over my dog cause I’m fucking wasted Griese
or
3) Kyle Daniels Orton

So, we got a metrosexual who gets pumped up before games by listening to Vanilla Ice or two other guys who are fucking drunks. Hey, you can’t go wrong if you like Jack Daniels- I say Orton to the rescue-

B Brother- I don’t know what the fuck you are taking about. This is for the first time a column where jay SOUNDS like everything I heard after the game tailgating.
Everyone had their hearts ripped out of them after that game- NFL, as in Not For Long, those lovely palm trees wilted on the front page and were replaced by a suspicion that the boys now are vulnerable, especially after Brian Urlacher limped away on an injured foot that no one would talk about.
My heart wilted after this game. I thought that the Bears were invincable- nothing could touch them- that’s all F***tard is stating here- plus, what is going on with Urlacjer’s foot- I want to know?!
All Jay is writing about is that the Bears CAN’T win on the defense alone- the Bears offence- lead by Grossman needs to pick up and he HAS to lead the way. Every time Grossman gets any pressure he freaks out, runs around like his dick is on fire, and throws the ball away- mostly to the other team. Rex looked sloopy, sorry but he did, and Mariotti is not afraid to say it.
Plus, to give Jay some credit- he did write that it wasn’t all Rex’s fault.
I think Jay is starting to improve.

After the game, I heard people saying the same shit that F***tard wrote about today. Sorry. I don’t think this time you can mention that Jay doesn’t know what Chicago is talking about.

First, a mini-commentary, since takes on the Bears seem to be interesting people more than Jay’s latest spilled can of alphabet soup…

Grossman gets four bad games this year.  Period.  He’s only started 15 games in his career, which technically puts him at the end of his rookie year.  EVERY QUARTERBACK has terrible games here and there.  It happens.  If it happens three more times more before the playoffs, Lovie needs to make a tough decision.  It’s not fair to the team if he doesn’t. 

I am sick and tired of the media acting surprised when a last-place team beats a first-place team.  It happens every year, and it happens frequently.  These people are paid to cover a professional sports league, and they should know that every single player on every single team is a world-class athlete that got where they are by withstanding fierce competition and never listening to people that doubted them.  Jay can share my thank-you to all of the Chicago media, who went out of their way (specifically stating it was OK for the Bears to look past this game ?!?!?) to fire up the Dolphins and turn this game into their Super Bowl.  Thanks, fellas, hope you enjoyed the press box spread while I was choking on my ramen noodles. 

And on to everybody’s favorite metrosexual sports columnist:

As for today’s bird cage carpeting, it was pretty much par for the course.  It could have been written by one of the Superfans after watching the game at home with a plate of wings.  Jay made an excuse for getting nothing on the Urlacher injury by telling us no reporters got any information.  So I guess we can add another page to our growing collection of Jay’s Habits of Highly Effective Columnists: monitor the Internet and see if anybody broke the big game story, then if nothing breaks casually mention it in your piece as if you participated in the pursuit.  When is that book coming out, Jay?

As for expressing an opinion, he made John Kerry look like a hardliner.  He only made passing references to Jason Taylor, the real story of the game who backed up his talk (that Jay had pointed out in print on Sunday) in a most impressive way.  He focused on taking requisite jabs at Grossman without making a commitment and calling for his head. 

One thing about Jay, he’s consistent.

I can’t pull a Denny Green and let yesterday’s “Hotel California” opening off the hook.  That was God Awful on so many levels I could have written a master’s thesis on its worthlessness.  And like so many of Jay’s scribblings, it underscored why this site exists. 

Once again, Jay looked to the rival Tribune for inspiration.  Shouldn’t this recent habit irk his Sun-Times superiors?  Isn’t that akin to a Pepsi marketing guy bringing Coke ads to brainstorming sessions for the next campaign? Or are we the only ones pointing it out?  Either way, Don Pierson and John Mullin ran the entire Saban quote on Thursday.  When read in full, it actually lends a bit of insight into the lives of two hard-working men who rose to the top of their profession: 

“Jerry and I used to coach together at Syracuse. We’ve known each other for years. We used to meet every Sunday morning for breakfast before we went in and graded the film.  He’d play `Hotel California’ on the juke box at 7 o’clock in the morning and we’d have some scrambled eggs. This guy is one of my best friends. Probably because he was my best friend we talked about this (Bears’ job).”

My point is not to highlight the fact Jay lifted another quote.  We’ve already busted that pinata.  But even with all the candy in the hands of screaming children, there’s so much more…

Jay proves once again he has no insight into the subject he covers, nor does he care to gain insight.  Taken by itself, this is a fascinating quote that reminds us that NFL head coaches and general managers are not like the rest of us.  Saban brings up a treasured memory of time spent with a best friend, and it’s sitting in a diner at 7 a.m. on a Sunday waiting for breakfast before going into work.  How many people in their twenties would consider waiting on eggs one for the “good times” vault, unless hallucinogenic drugs were invlolved?  Football tacticians are different birds, and they are interesting.  But Jay got none of that.  He simply used the anecdote to take a cheap shot at Angelo before offering him an olive branch.  Make fun of him before you compliment him:  Almost as weird as an Internet creature, that opening strategy. 

Not surprisingly, the faults don’t end there.  Jay goes on to use “Hotel California” as a device for humor, a comedic reference point painting Angelo as a crusty old man and the Eagles tune as something hip and cool and fresh.  We’ll throw out the fact Jay was trying to accomplish this with a song released in 1976. We’ll also throw out the fact that it wasn’t funny and that song lyrics play very poorly when used for effect in prose.  We will point out that during the year of Saban’s recollection, Hotel California was the number one single in America.  It was a hugely popular song.  You probably could have walked into any diner in America at the time, thrown a Rubik’s Cube, and hit ten people who knew and liked the song.  No, Jay, thinking of Jerry Angelo playing “Hotel California” on the jukebox in 1977 does not make me giggle.  If anything, it tells me Saban has a good memory, and that he passed up a great deal of the disco era in the interest of grading film.  Some of his peers remember Studio 54, he remembers “Hotel California” on a Sunday morning with Jerry. 

Like others have pointed out, Jay probably wasn’t hip to the Eagles craze, which is to say he wasn’t hip with anyone younger than 30 who left the house.  I don’t want to fog my brain speculating what he might have been listening to at the time, but something tells me he perceived the Eagles as “wild” or “dangerous” or “hard-rockin’.” Wrong again, Jay.  They were mainstream.  Next time you google-search song lyrics, look up where the songs charted too.

So I guess we can add another page to our growing collection of Jay’s Habits of Highly Effective Columnists: monitor the Internet and see if anybody broke the big game story, then if nothing breaks casually mention it in your piece as if you participated in the pursuit.  When is that book coming out, Jay?

This is interesting.

Any suggestions out there for the chapters to F***tard’s “Columnists for Dummys”?

Forget it Tyrone, this blog is becoming as boring as F***tard’s columns- nobody will even fight with me, nobody will discuss anything, it’s just gotten dull.
For the record and not doing this just to piss people off or to start a debate but I say Grossman only gets one more chance to prove himself- if he looks horrible next game or even first half I would think Lovie The Black Bear should yank him. What do you think? How many chances should Grossman get?

I think Grossman has earned himself three more strikes.  But if he swings and misses each time as badly as he did in Arizona and against Miami, he should be out.  The Bears are not in a position where a couple more losses will hurt their playoff positioning, so he shouldn’t be on thin ice as he would if they were say, 4-4. 

Lovie The Black Bear.  Ha.  I hope Jay lifts that and puts it into his column.  Definitely a silver bullet for a white columnist…

So, seriously, you would give Sexy Rexy Ice Ice Baby 3 more games? I could see if they were close games, he’s thrown one or two interceptions, but not 3 games like the Arizona or Miami games.
So, for arguments sake, what if Iceman is playing as bad in the first half (2 interceptions- no real completions) but the game is tied, maybe down a touchdown, or even up a touchdown- do you keep him in?
And please, let’s keep with the F***tard way of writing- you can only write a name if it has a stupid saying to go with it-
Lovie the Black Bear is pretty good isn’t it- could mean so many things.

Lovie the Black Bear?

Ha ha. I’m offended.

Not really. That was pretty good.

I say F***tard will rip that one off you Jamel. It would not be the first time.

No, if Grossman stinks next week then it will be Brian Griese in the next game with Rex on the sideline holding the clipboard.

You know what I just realized- everytime Tinky writes a qoute he finishes it with “he said"- like Grossman “said”, Lovie “said”, Jamel “said”. My mom kicked my ass when I was ten for writing like that- told me to go get a fucking thesaurus and looked up other words- like Grossman explained “blah blah blah"-. Maybe I should sick my mom on F***tard and give him an English lesson. If she gets pissed enough and whacks him so hard with her ruler that it breaks both his hands she could be doing the whole world a favor. Think I’ll call her right now.

Actually, always using “said” meets AP Style.  Most journalists avoid dialogue tags because they can distract readers.  However, some columnists take a more literary approach and mix things up.  This is obviously one case in which Jay will allow traditional rules of journalism to apply to him.  How convenient. 

Yeah, I guess if Grossman comes out next Sunday night and throws 3 picks in the first half, and the score is 17-10 or something like that, it’s time to pull him.  Depends on the situation, and no situation will offer an easy call. I hope The Black Bear stocked up on antacids. That’s why Lovie makes the money and I rip Jay for free on the Internet.

But I already called my mom and she’s on a bus up to F***tard house as we speak. She was pretty excited. She used to be a teacher and when I told her she could take out the “punisher” and use it I’ve never heard her so excited. She’s got this old wooden ruler that’s really thick so it can give a pretty good whack. I told her to stand over F***tard and everytime he writes “said” she could “fucking whack him”. I’m telling you, she’s a black Kathy Bates, waiting to invict mysery all over his ass. I told her it’s for the good of society and that F***tard’s columns aren’t good enough- they need to be rewritten for her approval. While she’s punishing him I told her to repeat over and over again “I am your number one fan. There is nothing to worry about. You are going to be just fine. I am your number one fan"- shit, I should go and get this on tape- priceless. She doesn’t get out too much.

I think he uses “he said” because he can’t write “he told me” because Urlacher/Grossman/Lovie aren’t in Tinky’s basement with him, the popcorn, the KY and the Ben Wallace blow-up doll.

I’d say one more game for Grossman; he doesn’t have to prove that he’s great (like The Joke mandates) but at least look like an NFL quarterback.  If a change needs to be made, make it for the Jets game, not the Patriots.

And today’s glowing statement that is sure to cause hours of fun;

“...a clump of twisted man goo...”

Tom, grab your aunt. I have the ruler!

Twisted Man Goo..

Read all about it.
http://firethefucktard.blogspot.com/

I was trying to defend F***tard’s columns for more of a challenge but this column is fucking bullshit. So, slam away I will. Tyrone must be having a fucking aneurysm- hope he’s okay.

While you breathe easier, I cuss and snort and demand answers
Who the fuck do you seriously think you are? Demand answers to what?- shitbrains. Does F***tard really believe that the Bears owe him anything? that he deserves an answer as to why Urlacher was in the game at this time? Seems F***tard is just pissed cause he missed the spread. This “cuss and snort” shit doesn’t foul us either into thinking you are actually a man’s man either you fucking fag (sorry Matt and Pat)

seek-and-destroy missile whose game depends entirely on speed and pursuit doesn’t need the full, unencumbered use of his left foot. The fact his big toe is merely sprained—Toe Jam Football, the Beatles called it—hardly absolves Lovie Smith and Ron Rivera from a braincramp that borders on temporary insanity.
Or, to be less polite, stupidity.
All sounds gay to me, I don’t know why- seek and destroy, missles- sounds like F***tard is really talking about Urlancher’s dick and left nut. And again, call Peterson- F***tard just called Lovie the Black Bear and Ron a bad name- tisk, tisk.

hermetically sealed cocoon?
F***tard wishing to wrap Urlacher up in a full body condom and have his way with him.

fall into a clump of twisted man goo, - Tyrone we have a winner!- has to win as gayest phraise yet- common!- you know Tinky was watching Gay porn, probably a bunch of dudes ass fucking each other on the TV, close up on the cum shot, while F***tard wrote this sentence- how am I supposed to defend this?

But Smith, whose poverty-level salary of $1.35 million had media folks lobbying for a huge raise last week, kept Urlacher out there How much does F***tard make? Seriously, does anyone know? He dares criticize another person for making too much money for what they do? F***tard is just jealous cause Lovie the Black Bear isn’t a polar bear if you know what I mean!- don’t see him questioning other coaches pay do you?

A big toe ouchie - hence why I call him Tinky- grow the fuck up!

‘’If it’s up to me, I will [play],’’ Urlacher said in his only interview of the day, with buddy Jay Glazer of Fox Sports.- proof F***tard is reading us! At least he gave the guy some credit.

put it in a larger Chicago context, to lose Urlacher is to remove the Sears Tower from the skyline.

Or the lake from the lakefront.

Or the chicken for the chicken coop, or the dog from the doghouse, or the dick from your mouth!

Grossman is heaving balls up for grabs off - close runner up Tyrone? What do you think?

Much of it seemed premature and hokey anyway, except for the blitz surrounding Urlacher. Ignoring idiotic claims that he’s overrated, he has enjoyed another season worthy of a Defensive Player of the Year trophy, if not league MVP consideration behind Manning.
How is it too early and “idiotic” for us to believe that the Bears are going to have an amazing season, go to the superbowl, win it all, yet it’s not too early to be calling Urlacher MVP of the Year?

Urlacher must learn to deal with backlash that comes with fathering a child out of wedlock. My mom is standing over F***tard right know with “the punisher” waiting to fucking whack his wrists and fingers- I’m waiting for the call Brian. I don’t even know where to begin with this- he actually called Urlacher’s kid a “bastard"- fucking unbelievable- how many people do you think this one sentence just insulted- kick his ass seabass.

But really, the only backlash has been media-related - just like what you just did huh F***tard.

Seriously, my mom is over there- she could break his knees no problem.

Yesterday, F***tard whined in His own column that we were being “nasty”.

Then he dares to write “clump of twisted man goo” and really expects that to slide?

Wow.

The F***tard train is now really running off the tracks.

F***tard is reacting to Jay the Joke no different than A-Rod being booed in NY.

At least A-Rod has natural talent.

Time to kick the F***tard out of town.

Sorry, forgot that *
should read His own column*

Seriously, man goo?