Now hear this: There is no chance—none, zero, nada—that Skiles approached Reinsdorf and Paxson late last month with the specific purpose of quitting.

The above drivel is based on his* deep relationship with Scott Skiles and his* keen understanding of the dynamics of individuals in a team situation .... oh, I’m sorry, I’m laughing too hard to keep that up.

So, what is it based on? Well, nothing actually. See, actually calling Skiles and getting a comment requires work, and that is clearly a four letter word that Mariotti can’t spell, let alone pronounce or do.

Later, in the same article*, we get this masterpiece of logic;

Rather than make a vaulable commodity feel special, the mission is to squeeze them financially and, subsequently, defeat them.

Yes, valuable is misspelled, but let’s move past that. Neither Gordon nor Deng (the two people he* is discussing) have even played to the level of trade bait this season. Beyond that, when did it become an owner’s obligation to just toss money at people and then give them a hug?

Nevertheless, just for fun, let’s look at how Reinsdorf has treated star players. Overall, they get lifetime contracts. From Jordan to Konerko, he has always made it a mission to keep the players who not only embody the team’s identity, but its spirit as well. As a Chicago sports’ fan I would have as many problems with “Meet the whiney prima-donnas” being the team motto as much as Reinsdorf does.

Nevertheless, today we get a glimpse into the effort that Mariotti puts into each column* he spews forth.

Who can forget how Washington’s Gilbert Arenas, in his blog, relayed his chat with ....

What Gilbert Arenas has to say about the inner business workings of a competitor is about as relevant as my thoughts on variable quantum mechanics. Quite possibly less so.

However, not to be out done by the literary genius of your average 4 year old, we get this bit of metaphor;

Every possession is constipation, a strain just to create a decent shot.

Good morning Chicago, how’s that visual sitting (as it were) with you?

I could go on and on, but my wife is begging me not to right now since she wants breakfast, so I will instead direct you to the thread already started by TomD.  Click Here to Join the Fun!