Settled into life as a husband and father, finally comfortable in his skin after 10 public years of trials and trauma, Woods has wrapped himself in a cocoon so impenetrable that we’re shocked when he doesn’t win. - Jay Mariotti
Jay Mariotti, you are one lazy bastard.
So let’s get this “straight”, shall we? After a weekend of feigning angst over Indiana’s Kelvin Sampson along with the building frustration over Michael Jordan refusing to return your incessant rambling text messages begging for court side tickets to watch Jeffrey, you realized that Tuesday’s deadline was rapidly approaching.
“Oh what to write?”, you ponder in despair. Well, let us review the options from the past 24 hours.
- The Bulls playing well in Dallas last night despite losing Kirk Hinrich as a result of a remarkably cheap game ejection? Nah, lacks a negative angle against Reinsdorf. And much too soon to discuss the Bulls as you are grieving the loss of (Vinyl) Ben Wallace’s fine chiseled body.
- Mark DeRosa’s irregular heart beat? No story for you to relate there, as we all assumed long ago that your alleged angioplasty procedure down in New Orleans was indeed a cover for some other “elected” surgery. Is Mark Cuban also ignoring your emails?
- Kyle Orton’s contract extended by Halas Hall? The pain must be so “unBEARable” (hah, hah, awesome pun eh?) for you to even discuss the issue.
So what is left? Well that is why indeed God invented.... ESPN.com!
Being equal parts annoying Chicagoan and pesky Internet Creature, it was a simple matter of curiosity to investigate a suspicion that Jay frantically “borrowed” the concept for this morning’s column*. Let’s just call it a hunch. And lo and behold, it was not surprising to note the coincidence of Jay’s back page rant sharing similarities to Associated Press coverage of the Accenture Match Play Championship (read here) along with the video (same page) of Michael Wilbon laying claim that Tiger Woods may be the “most dominant athlete ever”.
Did you really believe that adding a little more MJ while eliminating Muhammad Ali from the discussion would throw us off this trail of deception?
Take the quotes (obtained by the AP) out of the column* (oops, there goes the word count quota) and the Sun-Times reader more or less is left with Wilbon’s argument.
“Courage of conviction” indeed. Once again, dear old dad must be so proud.