“Chicago is a die-hard sports town, and Jay is a focal point of our strong, award-winning team that produces simply the best sports news in print and online anywhere,” Cooke said. “We are excited to continue working with Jay, and for him to continue to pull no punches when it comes to his exceptional sports commentary. - Michael Cooke”

This is a sad, sad day for Chicago.

The back page dwarf has agreed and accepted terms to torment our city until 2011. That is of course, should the cash strapped Sun-Times still be in business for that long.

The furor over this act of cruel and unusual punishment should not be directed towards the pissant. Seemingly, the only despicable entity more gruesome than Jay Mariotti and his anti-Chicago rhetoric is the employer that actually has an even larger axe to grind against this town.

And the person that will be signing these undeserving checks for the next three years is Michael Cooke, Jay’s editor.

Yes, the very same Cooke that chose to censor two recent columns penned by Rick Telander after Mariotti claimed to be the “the Blizzard’s only critic in the Chicago media, mostly because my soft colleagues either fear Guillen’s wrath, enjoy how he rips me, work for one of the Reinsdorf-controlled broadcast outlets or are afraid of getting on the chairman’s bad side.”

Evidently, Cooke values Jay’s exploitive tabloid shtick at the expense of true journalism exhibited on a consistent basis by Telander. More on that later.

Jay Mariotti and Michael Cooke make for compatible bedfellows with their bizarre urban legends. We all are aware of Mariotti’s fondness for “gimps”, blow up dolls and pop culture references as stale as Madonna, disturbing as Amy Winehouse and predictable as Britney Spears, Jessica Simpson and of course Ms. Hilton.

All pretty tame stuff as it turns out. When compared to Michael Cooke’s worst kept secret fetish.

True or not true, it is pretty damn weird for a rumor to circulate in not just one town, but two, as socialites and coworkers together have made not so subtle remarks to the editor’s “appreciation” for women’s shoes.

Of course, Cooke adamantly denied the charge to an inquiring Michael Miner of the Chicago Reader. So that must mean it is not true, right?

Rafael Palmeiro undoubtedly is nodding his head in complete agreement.

Turns out that Jay Mariotti may not in fact be the biggest F*!?tard in the Chicago media.

Stay tuned. It just might be a very long three years for Chief Pumps.