Congrats to "From the Other Side of Town" for winning the big contest over the weekend. But more importantly, congratulations to Brian Urlacher for becoming Jay Mariotti's newest enemy. We all knew that as soon as Urlacher ridiculed Mariotti on the evening news, it was only a matter of time until Mariotti struck back with a petty attempt at mocking the Pro-Bowler. Like a fart after chili, Mariotti once again proved all too predictable. From Sunday's column:

He's a petrified schoolboy in that Briscoe High commercial, slumping in his seat as mean, old teacher Jimmy Johnson asks what happened to Napoleon when he tried to invade Russia. But away from an acting career that hopefully won't involve full-length feature films, Brian Urlacher is getting very cocky about his real-life team.

Mariotti decided to rip Urlacher's acting abilities for obvious reasons, like... well... uh... Now that you mention it, the opening paragraph to Jay's Sunday column has absolutely NO relevance to anything! It's just a cheap shot. A low blow. It's the way Jay operates. In a column about tempering expectations of the Bears, Jay leads with an entire paragraph that ridicules Urlacher's acting ability. There are two sides to this fight: Side One: Brian Urlacher, who obviously works hard and is very talented at what he does, feels that his team deserves more credit from people like Jay who are constantly putting down the Bears. Side Two: Jay Mariotti, who is angry because Urlacher made fun of him, makes fun of the football player from afar. He challenges his superior, knowing he'll never go near the Bears' clubhouse. In the grand scheme of this feud, the intro to this column is Jay's way of sneaking up behind Urlacher and giving him a slap on the side of the face, and then quickly running away.