That’s because Angelo, on an afternoon when numerous teams traded up to land their desired targets, passed on a possibility to trade up for Rashard Mendenhall in the first round and draft one of two talented quarterbacks in the second round. When Mendenhall began to tumble from the top half of the opening roll call, Angelo and Smith were still in the auditorium, yapping to the media about Williams when they could have been plotting to pull a 2-for-1 that could have led to a 3-for-2. - Jay Mariotti

If Jay Mariotti weren’t a Chicago Sun-Times sports columnist*, he’d be a feminine hygiene product tester (you’re welcome David). Or a chauffeur for Lance Briggs. Or a cosmetic evaluator to spare pigs. Or a towel boy for Ozzie Guillen.  Or a beach ball for the bleacher bums to kick around. Or perhaps most deservedly, Brian Urlacher’s bitch.

As suspected earlier in the week, the back page malignant dwarf (haven’t used that one in awhile) bandied about the name of Rashard Mendenhall, knowing full damn well that the Bears were hellbent on drafting an offensive tackle.

Why?

So when Jerry Angelo accomplished his mission to begin rebuilding an aging and oft-injured offensive line with the first pick selection, Jay pressed “send” to ship off this pre-cooked drivel over to the Sun-Times and call it a weekend.

And by the way, the Bears were not the only team to pass on Mendenhall. Twenty-one other teams did likewise as well.

Evidently, Jay has scrambled back onto the Fire Jerry Angelo bandwagon (despite an earlier proclamation that he would give Angelo another opportunity to rebuild the team) and today’s column* is simply the first rant of many more to assuredly follow. A couple of season’s ago, Jay professed to giggling at the thought of the general manager listening to Eagles songs (yes, I know it doesn’t make much sense but that is what he wrote). Quite obviously, Hotel California for Mariotti has gone out of business.

The column* consists of an incredibly amount of hyperventilating raving that Angelo should have done a little wheel dealing and secure more first round draft picks. The bizarre suggestion that the Bears trade up for Mendenhall doesn’t ring any bells of common sense considering the Bears had the 14th pick while the running back was finally selected by the Steelers in the 23rd spot.

Of course, Jay upon review (a frequent visitor to our little blog who “borrows” minions, blah, Marissa Miller references, etc.), will realize his folly and lamely cover up his sloppiness by suggesting that he really meant the second Bears pick that should have been exchanged for uhhhh.... another first round pick? 

Whatever Jay. It is obvious that when Angelo was wasting all that time with your house reporter colleagues (actually doing their jobs), you were too overtly concerned with the irritating rash developing between your legs from that new Kotex pad. Understandably, attempting to add logic and dare say any actual scenario involving teams and players in your demands for Angelo “trading up” to garner Mendenhall was the least of your concerns at that discomforting time.

Mariotti closes today’s tirade with a short little sentence implying that the Bears could have done more with their top draft picks. How nice of Jay to write off these kids a few hours after being drafted, especially Matt Forte.

Perhaps Jay should address his own underachieving, lazy habits before criticizing others. Such as the ability to count and read a draft sheet.

Time to change your pad, Jay. And career.