Well, today I won $20. I had Ozzie erupting before Lou in the pool. Lou’s recent “Do you think I’m stupid?” didn’t qualify since it was too short and the good parts were done away from the media. Although some were able to describe the echoes.

Sun Times columnist, Joe Cowley, proves once again that he gamers more corporate respect than our Back Page Little Person. While the latter is denied even the use of Spell Check, Mr. Cowley has access to the BLEEPMASTER 5000 (patent pending). Which is a good thing, or we might have been denied print access to Ozzie’s delicate meanderings from yesterday’s press conference.

After noting that the enchanting Mr. Guillen had taken minor umbrage with certain people who claimed to know more about baseball than the players, managers or executives, he shares this salient quote;

‘’Right now, everyone in Chicago is making lineups, ‘Call up this guy, call up that guy,’’’ Guillen said. ‘’If we had 50 people allowed on the roster, we could do that. That’s what ticks me off about Chicago fans and Chicago media—they forget pretty quick. A couple of days ago, we were the [bleep]ing best [bleep] in town, now we’re [bleep].’’

Later, after clarifying how the delightful Mr. Guillen perceives his status ranks in the eyes of the chronically misinformed, we get this tender moment;

‘’We won it a couple years ago, and we’re horse[bleep],’’ Guillen said. ‘’The Cubs haven’t won in 120 years, and they’re the [bleep]ing best. [Bleep] it, we’re good. [Bleep] everybody. We’re horse[bleep], and we’re going to be horse[bleep] the rest of our lives, no matter how many World Series we win. We are the bitch of Chicago. We’re the Chicago bitch. We have the worst owner—the guy’s got seven [bleep]ing rings, and he’s the [bleep]ing horse[bleep] owner.’’

As you can see, thanks to the BLEEPMASTER 5000 (patent still pending), we can discern that Mr. Guillen is taking a quiet moment to remind the media, and the fans, that Mr. Reinsdorf is still one of the most successful owners in the history of Chicago sports. He also uses this ruminative declamation to stand up for his beleaguered team and reaffirm the proper status quo of Chicago Sports’ social standings.

Oh, there was more fun and frivolity for all, but since c-u-johnny (inventor of the BLEEPMASTER 5000) has already started a thread, all you need to do is CLICK HERE TO JOIN THE FUN!